Uninhabited

Uninhabited

Starring Geraldine Hakewill, Henry James, Terry Siourounis, Tasia Zalar

Directed by Bill Bennett

The Story:
Young couple Beth (Geraldine Hakewill) and Harry (Henry James) decide to spend ten days on a romantic getaway to a deserted island.   At first they're enjoying their time together, but soon things begin happening to suggest that the island isn't as uninhabited as they were led to believe, and the young couple find themselves in danger of an island spirit as well as more tangible threats.

The Synopsis:
Movies that focus on only one or two characters have an uphill battle from the start.  Even if the film is less than an hour and a half, that's still 90 minutes of watching a minimal amount of characters on screen and actually caring about them.  Great actors, like Tom Hanks, managed to do this with ease in films like "Cast Away," but for every "Cast Away" there's an "Uninhabited," a small, low-budget horror film centering on two characters who couldn't hold anyone's attention even if they tried.

Young couple Beth and Harry decide to spend ten days on a deserted island together, but soon realize they're being stalked by a presence on the island, and they're not entirely sure if it's even human.  In hopes of holding our attention, director Bill Bennett cast two incredibly attractive people to grace our screens in the skimpiest outfits possible, but not even the amount of skin could keep our attention.  Even though the mystery is somewhat laid out in an interesting way, we still can't keep our attention.  Even though the scenery is incredibly beautiful and ethereal, it still can't keep our attention.  Overall, the film's title serves as an unintentional duel meaning: the island was supposedly uninhabited, but the only thing uninhabited is the chair we're sitting on to watch this film, because we're off doing something more interesting - like watching paint dry.

The film cast two relative newcomers as the leads, and put a lot of stress on their shoulders to try and hold the film together.  Geraldine Hakewill does well as Beth, the tough girl who also cries a lot and runs around the island screaming.  This is Henry James' first (and currently only) film, and I don't think he actually knew he was starring in a movie - he probably thought he was on an extended modeling shoot, due to the constant shots of his up-close perfect face as he stares into the camera.  The chemistry between the two is absolutely nonexistent, and both give such bland performances we don't even care about them at all.

As the mystery unfolds, the film goes off on different tangents that ultimately have no bearing on the story as a whole, but seems like filler material to pad the already short run-time.  There's a side story involving other fishermen that make no sense, and the actual story of the island spirit is - even though tragic and meaningful - lackluster and also nonsensical.  Essentially, the only small positive I can find about the film is the scenery itself, but all I have to do to get that same feel is watch a few episodes of "Survivor," and it quenches my thirst to see luscious island landscapes - with much better acting.

The Summary:
When you have to rely on two actors to fully hold up a movie, you better make sure they're talented enough to rise to the occasion.  Unfortunately, the actors chosen for "Uninhabited" fail to meet even the barest of expectations, resulting in a boring, dragged-out tale that makes us want to be on in uninhabited island ourselves - so we can be far away from this movie.

The Score: D-