The Quick and the Undead

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The Quick and the Undead
Starring Clint Glenn, Erin McCarthy, Parrish Randall, Dion Day
Directed by Gerald Nott

The Story:
Eighty-two years ago, a zombie outbreak turned the world into the living dead, and society crumbled and returned to an old West style, where the only way to earn a living is to become a zombie bounty hunter.  Ryn (Clint Glenn) is a solo bounty hunter who's excellent at killing zombies, but then gets ambushed by rogue hunter Blythe (Parrish Randall) and his crew, and Ryn is left for dead.  Seeking revenge, Ryn embarks on a journey through the new West in search of Blythe.

The Synopsis:
I really can appreciate a low-budget horror movie, if it's done right.  While you can sense the heart behind "The Quick and the Undead," you can't help but notice that this isn't one of those well-done low-budget films.  The story crumbles from the start, the effects look cheesy, the dialogue is strained, and the sound is horrendous.  The only compliment about the film is that it's only 80 minutes, and it goes by very fast.

Eighty-two years after the zombie apocalypse, the only way to make a living is to kill zombies for the socially elite.  That's what Ryn does - he goes about the new West, killing zombies as he goes, as well as trying his hardest to impersonate Clint Eastwood in every Western film he's been in.  Clint Glenn (even though they share the same first name) can't hold a candle to the great Eastwood, but that doesn't stop him from hamming up his performance to near-annoying levels.  For Ryn, life is good, until he runs afoul of Blythe, a fellow bounty hunter, who shoots him and leaves him for dead.

Not being able to keep a good man down, Ryn manages to somehow survive his attack and embark on a journey of revenge, with some zombies thrown in here and there.  The zombie makeup look like they bought it from their local Wal-Mart, and they're nowhere near terrifying, or even remotely scary.  Much like other zombie films, the zombies seem to be an after-thought compared to the main story - getting revenge.

Ryn tracks Blythe and his crew to an abandoned building, where the final confrontation takes place.  As I said earlier, the film is short, so this buildup is very quick...so in that respect it really lives up to the film's title.  As for the undead part, there's zombies for sure, but as I said before, they're not at all scary.  The only scary thing in this film is the performances.

The Summary:
Not really making a mark in any significant way, "The Quick and the Undead" offers nothing to the zombie genre, resulting in an easily forgettable low-budget horror film that's more a mess than it is a success.

The Score: D-

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