Nine Lives

Nine Lives

Starring David Nicolle, Amelia Warner, Paris Hilton, Ben Peyton

Directed by Andrew Green

The Story:
Nine friends meet at a Scottish mansion to celebrate the 21st birthday of their friend Tim (Patrick Kennedy), and all seems to be going well until one of them finds a hidden book that tells the story of a Scottish man named Murray, who was put to death during the last Scottish uprising.  The spirit of Murray then enters one of their friends, and goes on a killing spree.  The main problem arises when the survivors learn that if they kill whoever Murray is possessing, he will possess them.  Laura (Amelia Warner) and her ex Pete (David Nicolle) try to find a way to stop the spirit without killing the host, thus becoming possessed themselves.

The Synopsis:
Basically, "Nine Lives" is what a story would be if Agatha Christie was a twelve-year-old.  There's hints of classic stories like "And Then There Were None," but instead of a stylish, suspenseful film, "Nine Lives" somehow manages to be completely dull and lifeless, without any suspense whatsoever, making it look like it was the pilot of a long-forgotten television series.

When the spirit of a murdered Scottish man inhabits nine friends at a remote castle, the survivors have to find a way to stop him without killing the host, otherwise the spirit jumps into the person who kills it.  It's an interesting premise, but extremely, poorly, humorously executed.  Despite there being nine possible victims - and a scant runtime of only 85 minutes - it still somehow manages to be totally boring.  There's long moments of people just walking around, seemingly wondering what they're supposed to do next, along with expositional dialogue that seems out of place.  The editing was terrible, as there were scenes thrown in that make no sense (such as one scene where an injured person was wanting water, and nothing developed from that), and whoever was chosen to be the main editor really enjoy the fade transition, as several scenes end with a black screen before another begins.  The effects are terrible, as there's hardly any blood or actual violence, except ironically from a girl who was just wounded by the killer, who seemingly had a small cut to her stomach all of a sudden blossom to almost her entire shirt covered in blood for some reason.  Also, none of the actors are remotely good, which also leads to my next point.

The film's cover, as well as all promotional material, point out that Paris Hilton was the star of the film.  Remember when Paris Hilton mattered?  Neither do I, but apparently her name was supposed to draw eyeballs to the screen - and let's just say the promotional material was extremely misleading.

The Summary:
Maybe if you're in the mood for a terrible B-rated movie, "Nine Lives" could be just what you want to see - but if you're interested in seeing an exciting, terrifying, spooky tale that makes even one iota of sense, then "Nine Lives" is not the film for you.

The Score: D-