JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Major Theatrical Releases January 2018 2018 brings a bit of everything for everyone - action, drama, horror, family, and the conclusion of a long-awaited movie trilogy. Here are the major theatrical releases for January 2018. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS,  since the films aren't released yet. Also, dates are subject to change** Molly's Game January 5 Aaron Sorkin - best known for writing "A Few Good Men," "The Social Network," and "Moneyball" - makes his directorial debut in "Molly's Game," the true story of Molly Bloom who becomes the target of an FBI investigation for her underground poker empire she built for Hollywood celebrities, athletes, business tycoons and the mafia.  Starring the criminally underrated Jessica Chastain, the film looks to be a dramatic thriller in the guise of her other great work, "Miss Sloane."  The film also stars Idris Elba, Kevin Coster and Michael Cera.

Call Me By Your Name Starring Timothee Chalamet, Armie Hammer, Michael Stuhlbarg, Amira Casar Directed by Luca Guadagnino The Story: In northern Italy in 1983, seventeen year old Elio (Timothee Chalamet) is staying with his parents for the summer.  He's a precocious young man who exudes an intelligence far beyond his years, but underneath his bravado there's a spark of insecurity.  His father (Michael Stuhlbarg) is a professor of archaeology who hosts a doctrinal student every summer to work with him.  This year it's American Oliver (Armie Hammer), a tall, ruggedly handsome man who also gives about an air of confidence. It's this confidence that draws Elio to him, and the two begin to explore their feelings for each other through one-upping their intellectual capabilities.  As the summer months go on, the two become more daring in their explorations, leading to a summer that will change both of their lives forever. The Synopsis: Romantic movies often ho

I, Tonya Starring Margot Robbie, Sebastian Stan, Allison Janney, Paul Walter Hauser Directed by Craig Gillespie The Story: As a child, Tonya Harding had a strong desire to skate, and her overbearing, abusive mother LaVona (Allison Janney) gets her into an ice skating class, where she quickly rises the ranks and out-performs even the seasoned veterans.  Years later, now an adult, Tonya (Margot Robbie) is at the top of her game, and falling in love with Jeff Gillooly (Sebastian Stan), despite the fact that he continually abuses her. After she becomes the second female to land the triple axel jump, Harding rose to fame and notoriety, and was someone who could've gone to the Olympics.  However, as she allowed her private life to affect her performance - and receiving negative feedback from judges who wanted a more wholesome image - she began to fade to obscurity again. That is, until 1994, when Gillooly and his friend Shawn Eckhardt (Paul Walter Hauser) pay a man to pre

The Killing of a Sacred Deer Starring Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Barry Keoghan, Raffey Cassidy Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos The Story: Heart surgeon Seven Murphy (Colin Farrell) seems to have the picture-perfect life: adoring wife Anna (Nicole Kidman), well-behaved kids Kim (Raffey Cassidy) and Bob (Sunny Suljic), a high-paying job, and a marvelous house.  Yet not everything is as it seems, as he befriends strange teenager Martin (Barry Keoghan), and the two have a very strange relationship.  It's this relationship that threatens to tear down everything Steven built up, possibly destroying his family and altering his future forever. The Synopsis: "In Greek mythology, Iphigenia appears as the Greek fleet gathers in Aulis to prepare for war against Troy.  At Aulis, the leader of the Greeks, Agamemnon, accidentally kills a deer in a grove sacred to the goddess Artemis.  She punishes him by interfering with the winds so that his fleet cannot sail to Troy. The see

Everything, Everything Starring Amandla Stenberg, Nick Robinson, Anika Noni Rose, Ana de la Reguera Directed by Stella Meghie The Story: 18-year-old Maddy (Amandla Stenberg) has spent her entire life inside her home with her mother Pauline (Anika Noni Rose), because she suffers from a disease known as Severe Combined Immune Deficiency (SCID), which means her immune system is so weak that if she goes outside and comes into contact with any type of illness, she could die. So she's spent her life in her house with her mother and nurse Carla (Ana de la Reguera), and hasn't really interacted with other human beings apart from online chats.  Then a new family moves in, including hunky teen Olly (Nick Robinson), and the two share conversations over text messages.  Behind her mother's back, Maddy has Olly over despite the possible contamination threat, and the two begin a relationship.  When her mother discovers what's happening, she forbids Maddy to see Olly or h

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Worst Remakes By definition, the word "remake" means "reference to a movie which uses an earlier movie as the main source material, rather than in reference to a second, later movie based on the same source."  While I already posted by top ten favorite remakes (you can read that here ), there's way more remakes that are just plain terrible, and here are my personal ten worst, worst2first (the first being the ultimate worst)... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 The Stepford Wives The term "Stepford wife" is most notably associated with a docile, forgiving, do-anything-their-husband-says wife who shows no self-will of her own, but only exists to serve her husband.  There's a reason this is a definition, because the 1975 classic film was considered a horror film where a woman finds the men of Stepford are changing their wives for robots.  In the 2004 remake, the horror is gone (at least, it's suppos

All the Money in the World Starring Michelle Williams, Christopher Plummer, Mark Wahlberg, Charlie Plummer Directed by Ridley Scott The Story: On July 10, 1973, young John Paul Getty III (Charlie Plummer) was kidnapped in Rome.  His kidnappers call his mother Gail (Michelle Williams) demanding $17 million dollars.  While Gail is just a poor single mother, her former father-in-law is John Paul Getty (Christopher Plummer), the richest man in America, owner of the Getty Oil Company.  When he finds out the kidnappers' demands, he refuses to pay a dime, but instead enlists former CIA operative Fletcher Chase (Mark Wahlberg) to find him.  As time passes, Paul's predicament grows more dire, and Gail's patience runs thin.  If Getty doesn't pay the ransom, Paul will die. The Synopsis: When a film is based on a true story, I typically don't go into it thinking I'll get a completely accurate historical lesson, but to be entertained.  While "All the Mone

A Christmas Carol Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Robin Wright Directed by Robert Zemeckis The Story: Crotchety old Ebenezer Scrooge (Jim Carrey) only cares about his wealth, and doesn't give second thoughts to anyone around him, especially his underpaid clerk Bob Cratchet (Gary Oldman).  When he's visited on Christmas Eve by the spirit of his former colleague Jacob Marley (Gary Oldman), Scrooge is warned that he will be visited by three spirits.  When the spirits arrive, they show Scrooge Christmas past, present, and future, they challenge Scrooge to change his views and fully embrace what it means to have the Christmas spirit. The Synopsis: Very few fictional books have maintained the public knowledge than Charles Dickens' classic "A Christmas Carol," a story that has been told and retold since its creation in 1843.  The novel has been made into countless television specials and movies, and the play can be seen in pretty much every

The Polar Express Starring Tom Hanks, Nona Gaye, Peter Scolari, Eddie Deezen Directed by Robert Zemeckis The Story: Having turned old enough to doubt the existence of Santa, Hero Boy awakens on Christmas Eve night to the sound of a train outside.  The Conductor (Tom Hanks) invites the young boy on board, bound for the North Pole.  At first hesitant, Hero Boy gets on board and meets Hero Girl (Nona Gaye) and Know-It-All (Eddie Deezen), and then Lonely Boy (Peter Scolari).  Together they embark on an adventure to the North Pole to meet Santa, and along the way Hero Boy learns that believing doesn't always come with seeing. The Synopsis: Based on the book by Chris Van Allsburg (who also wrote "Jumanji"), "The Polar Express" is a magical, whimsical Christmastime adventure that was a marvel ahead of its time.  Back in 2004, it became the first film to be done in all motion digital capture, which was something unheard of at the time.  Now, it's pret

Before I Fall Starring Zoey Deutch, Halston Sage, Logan Miller, Jennifer Beals Directed by Ry Russo-Young The Story: Samantha Kingston (Zoey Deutch) is your typical teenage girl.  She gets annoyed with her younger sister, pretty much ignores her parents, and hangs out with the mean girl crowd including uber-queen Lindsay (Halston Sage).  She's dating the most popular guy at school, about to loose her virginity, and draws the attention of fellow student Kent (Logan Miller).  She is mean to outcast Juliet (Elena Kampouris) and attends the biggest party of the year.  Then she and her friends are involved in some sort of car accident, and Samantha wakes up again the same day. At first, she thinks she had a bad dream, but when the events of the day continue the same as before, she begins to fear something else is happening.  As she's forced to relive the same day over and over, she has to find a way to get past it and hopefully see tomorrow. The Synopsis: "Grou

Cliffhanger Starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Michael Rooker, Janine Turner Directed by Renny Harlin The Story: After an unfortunate accident, former rock climber and Ranger Gabe Walker (Sylvester Stallone) leaves town.  He returns eight months later to try to reconcile with his old girlfriend Jessie (Janine Turner), but then they receive a distress call from a group of hikers stuck in the mountains.  Jessie begs Gabe to help, to which he reluctantly agrees, reuniting him with his former friend Hal (Michael Rooker), who holds him responsible for the accident that happened months earlier. The stranded hikers are actually mercenaries led by Qualen (John Lithgow), who were stranded on the mountain after their plane crashed.  They were in the process of transferring $100 million dollars from a government plane when they crashed, and now the three crates are strewn on the mountain, and they force Gabe and Hal to find it for them.  But the two men won't go down wit