Candy Stripers

Candy Stripers

Starring Scott Aaronson, Brian Lloyd, William Edwards, Nicole Rayburn

Directed by Kate Robbins

When aliens invade earth, they take over the bodies of women and use their allure to seduce men which leads to baby aliens being born.  They slowly begin to take over a small town hospital where members of a high school basketball team have been admitted due to injuries, and it's up to them to find a way to stop the aliens before they multiply and destroy the world.

A decent horror movie needs some genuine thrills and chills, an exciting story, some top-notch acting, and some shocking twists and turns.  Candy Stripers has none of that - of course it seems to want to be confined to the B-rated horror subgenre, but it can't even get that right. 

The film is all concept and no execution.  The underlying point of the film is that aliens have invaded Earth and plan to...do something...probably take it over?  Yes, let's go with that.  And they plan to do that by...taking over a small town hospital by taking control of candy stripers and nurses and seducing the men in the hospital and turning them to cocoons because...um...because they can?  Sure, why not.  Plus they really enjoy eating sugar, and one of the main girls is diabetic, so there's absolutely no correlation between the two...uh...nevermind.  Plus the hospital starts getting cobwebs throughout, and one of the basketball players is infected so...yeah.  Oh, and then the hospital is quarantined, the aliens attack some guards in front of a crowd of people, and no one really reacts because...this is something they see everyday?  Sounds like a rough town. 

Not to mention the fact that I looked up candy stripers on wikipedia, and it said they're teenage girls who do volunteer work at a hospital.  So the doctors who want to get with them aren't just perverts, but pedophiles as well.  Sounds like a truly reputable place to get quality care.

Heck, everyone knows why this film was made in the first place, and it wasn't for anything more than gratuitous nudity and softcore Cinemax thrills.  There's absolutely no decent performances whatsoever, the characters act like morons (as they're fleeing for their lives, the head cheerleader girlfriend of the head basketball player wants some "action" of her own, which is of course the most opptune time for such a thing to happen), and the only thing the film has going for it is the fun gore it provides.  Other than that, there's absolutely no reason it should exist at all.

It's time for the pros and cons of the movie, starting with the pros: there's some good gore scenes.  For the cons, there's too many to list, but I'll narrow it down to two: terrible acting, and no plot whatsoever.

Overall, I would give Candy Stripers an D-.