The First Annual Not-JoeMama Movie Awards

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The First Annual Not-JoeMama Movie Awards

Hello and welcome to the First Annual Not-JoeMama Movie Awards, where we "honor" the worst in cinema in 2023 as voted on by you, the fans!

After weeks of voting the votes have been tallied and it's time to reveal who will win the not-so-coveted Not-JoeMama Movie Statuette!




 


First up is the award for Worst Performance in a Horror Movie.
The nominees are...
Alexander Skarsgaard for Infinity Pool
David Duchovny for Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
Jackson White for Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
Jennifer Nettles for Exorcist: Believer
Leslie Odom Jr. for Exorcist: Believer
Lizzy Caplan for Cobweb
Nikolai Leon for Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey
Piglet for Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey
Sophie Thatcher for The Boogeyman
Winnie-the-Pooh for Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Winnie-the-Pooh! (oh bother)



















Now for the Worst Performance in a Comedic Movie.
The nominees are...
Anna Konkle for The Drop
Bert Kreischer for The Machine
Charlie Day for Fool's Paradise
Eddie Murphy for You People
Jack Harlow for White Men Can't Jump
John Cena for Freelance
Jonah Hill for You People
Nia Vardalos for My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
Sebastian Maniscalco for About My Father
Will Ferrell for Strays


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













John Cena! (where is he?)



















Now for the Worst Performance in a Dramatic Movie.
The nominees are...
Channing Tatum for Magic Mike's Last Dance
Daniel da Silva for His Only Son
Kristoffer Polaha for The Shift
Liam Neeson for Marlowe
Molly Gordon for Theater Camp
Owen Wilson for Paint
Priyanka Chopra Jonas for Love Again
Salma Hayek for Magic Mike's Last Dance
Taron Egerton for Tetris
Willem Dafoe for Inside


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Channing Tatum! (thankfully it's his last dance)



















Now for the Worst Actor in an Action Movie.
The nominees are...
Adam Driver for 65
Ana de Armas for Ghosted
Ben Affleck for Hypnotic
Brie Larson for The Marvels
Chris Evans for Ghosted
Ezra Miller for The Flash
Jason Statham for Expend4bles
Jason Statham for Meg 2: The Trench
Megan Fox for Expend4bles
Jonathan Majors for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Ezra Miller! (gone in a flash)



















Now for the Worst Horror Film of the year.
The nominees are...
Appendage
The Boogeyman
Children of the Corn
Cobweb
Exorcist: Believer
Five Nights at Freddy's
Infinity Pool
The Nun II
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey!



















Now for the Worst Comedy Film of the year.
The nominees are...
About My Father
The Drop
Fool's Paradise
Freelance
The Machine
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken
Strays
White Men Can't Jump
You People


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Strays!



















Now for the Worst Drama Film of the year.
The nominees are...
His Only Son
Inside
Love Again
Magic Mike's Last Dance
Marlowe
Moving On
Paint
The Shift
Tetris
Theater Camp


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Magic Mike's Last Dance!



















Now for the Worst Action Film of the year.
The nominees are...
65
Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
The Devil Conspiracy
Expend4bles
The Flash
Ghosted
God is a Bullet
Hypnotic
Knights of the Zodiac
The Marvels


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













The Flash!



















Now we've arrived to the Worst Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role.
The nominees are...
Alice Braga for Hypnotic
Ariana Greenblatt for 65
Helen Mirren for Shazam! Fury of the Gods
Jennifer Nettles for Exorcist: Believer
Kathryn Newton for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Lucy Liu for Shazam! Fury of the Gods
Kim Cattrall for About My Father
Michelle Pfeiffer for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Salma Hayek for Magic Mike's Last Dance
Teyonah Parris for The Mavels


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Salma Hayek!



















Now for Worst Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role.
The nominees are...
Eddie Murphy for You People
Jack Harlow for White Men Can't Jump
Jamie Foxx for Strays
Jonathan Majors for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Mark Hamill for The Machine
Michael Douglas for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Winnie-the-Pooh for Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey
Robert De Niro for About My Father
Samuel L. Jackson for The Marvels
Sylvester Stallone for Expend4bles


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Jamie Foxx!

















Time for the award for Worst Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role.
The nominees are...
Alison Brie for Freelance
Ana de Armas for Ghosted
Anna Konkle for The Drop
Brie Larson for The Marvels
Evangeline Lilly for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Jane Fonda for Moving On
Megan Fox for Expend4bles
Nia Vardalos for My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
Priyanka Chopra Jonas for Love Again
Sophie Thatcher for The Boogeyman


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Megan Fox!


















Now for the award for Worst Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role.
The nominees are...
Adam Driver for 65
Ben Affleck for Hypnotic
Chris Evans for Ghosted
Ezra Miller for The Flash
Jason Statham for Expend4bles
Jason Statham for Meg 2: The Trench
John Cena for Freelance
Owen Wilson for Paint
Paul Rudd for Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Sebastian Maniscalco for About My Father


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













Ezra Miller!














Now we've reached the final award for the night - Worst Picture of the year.
The nominees are...
65
Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
Children of the Corn
The Devil Conspiracy
The Drop
Exorcist: Believer
Expend4bles
The Flash
Fool's Paradise
Freelance
Ghosted
God is a Bullet
Hypnotic
Infinity Pool
Knights of the Zodiac
Love Again
The Machine
The Marvels
Meg 2: The Trench
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
Paint
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
White Men Can't Jump
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey
You People


And the Not-JoeMama goes to...













The Flash!


"Congratulations" to all the winners and let it be a sign to you that you can always do better!

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