Imaginary

Imaginary
Starring DeWanda Wise, Tom Payne, Pyper Braun, Taegen Burns
Directed by Jeff Wadlow

2024 is the year for imaginary friends, with the upcoming John Krasinski-directed Ryan Reynolds-starring comedy "IF" as well as this forgettable Blumhouse production "Imaginary." Sure, it's only two films, but since imaginary friends haven't had prominence in entertainment since the amazing "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" ended in 2009, and hopefully "IF" fares better than "Imaginary," a film that'll make you wish it was just a faded childhood memory - because honestly you probably won't remember it anyway.

Jessica (DeWanda Wise) is the new wife to rocker Max (Tom Payne) and a stepmother to his two daughters - teenager Taylor (Taegen Burns) and young Alice (Pyper Braun). Taylor doesn't like Jessica while Alice likes her for the most part, and after moving back into Jessica's childhood home Alice finds an abandoned teddy bear in the basement who's name is Chauncey. Soon after finding Chauncey things begin getting weird around the house, and Jessica soon believes that Alice's imaginary friend might not be as imaginary as she once thought - and has a direct connection to Jessica and her forgotten childhood.

Blumhouse has had some major successes with films like 2018's "Halloween," "The Purge," and "Insidious" to name a few, but it also has major bombs, including director Jeff Wadlow's other film "Truth or Dare," along with 2024's "Night Swim" and the "Firestarter" remake. "Imaginary" will fall on the lesser end of the Blumhouse line, offering another by-the-books, bland and predictable horror movie that lacks what the film's main thrust is: imagination.

Pulling from other horror films like the aforementioned "Insidious," "Poltergeist," "Labyrinth" and "Child's Play" to name a few, "Imaginary" foregoes anything that makes any of those films exciting and instead lends itself to expositional dialogue that gets thrown out the window halfway through when it suddenly switches from some sort of "M3GAN" wannabe to sci-fi territory featuring other worlds and fantastical creatures more akin to "Pan's Labyrinth" if "Pan's Labyrinth" had a budget of five dollars (meaning the creatures in this film look like either shoddy CGI or a guy in a literal teddy bear costume they got from the local Halloween shop). The film centers on a young girl who makes a supposed imaginary friend but said friend wants to take her to his world, leading the stepmother to try and intervene but discovers that she might be the main target all along, or something like that. For a simple, forgettable film it sure tries to bend the mind, but instead bends your head as you nod off.

There's hardly any scares in the film, instead relying on the not-so-tried-and-true jump scares that work when they're done well, but not here. In one scene Jessica hears a noise and slowly...very slowly...looks under the bed, slowly...very slowly...panning back and forth as you once again nod off before the jump scare jolts you awake because of the sound, not because it was scary. That's just one scene in this overly long, overly boring horror film that lacks the imagination needed to be something memorable.

The performances all around the board are also bland and boring. DeWanda Wise looks like she'd rather be anywhere but here as Jessica, who often wanders around in dumbfounded shock at what's happening, while "The Walking Dead" alum Tom Payne fares a lot better as her new husband Max - he disappears a third of the way through the film to play at a show and isn't seen again. Taegen Burns plays the generic teenage-angst filled Taylor who hates Jessica for being a great stepmother, but at least young Pyper Braun doesn't make me want to pull my ears off my head as Alice - so there's that. Then there's the scene-chewing Betty Buckley who plays the elderly neighbor Gloria who was also Jessica's babysitter and who serves as the exposition-laden character who explains the concept of "imaginary friends" that really doesn't make sense.

The effects are laughably bad, with CGI so shoddy they make the MCU look amazing by comparison. Mixed in with the CGI is laughably bad practical effects, especially seeing Chauncey in its full form: literally a man in a life-sized teddy bear costume that looks as frightening as Ted from "Ted" (this movie could've done so much better if Seth MacFarlane narrated the movie). The scares aren't there, the emotions aren't there, and you're just waiting for it to graciously end and put you out of your misery.

Featuring wooden performances in stereotypical roles and scares as frightening as a non-evil teddy bear, "Imaginary" will at least let your own imagination soar as you mentally check out of this by-the-books horror film and imagine yourself somewhere else - anywhere else.

The Score: D