Immaculate

Immaculate
Starring Sydney Sweeney, Alvaro Morte, Benedetta Porcaroli, Dora Romano
Directed by Michael Mohan

There was a comedy movie that came out in 2004 called "Saved!" about a group of Christian school teens trying to balance faith and free will, and it was a downright hoot that I still laugh out loud to today. When one of the girls in the school gets pregnant, she's watching a play about the birth of Jesus and wonders..."I know this is wrong, but do you ever wonder if she just made the whole thing up? I mean, it's a pretty good one. It's not like anyone can ever use virgin birth as an excuse again. if Mary made the whole thing up." Well, director Michael Mohan must have seen that movie too and thought, "hold my beer" as he in fact made a movie where the main character is seemingly impregnated as a virgin. While not as funny, "Immaculate" does have some intentional (and non-intentional) humor thrown in, while proving Sydney Sweeney can literally do no wrong no matter the mess that's around her.

Years after dying for seven minutes when she falls into the ice as a kid, Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney) accepts an invitation from Father Sal Tedeschi (Alvaro Morte) to be a nun at an Italian convent purposely designated as a place where elder nuns can die in peace. Cecilia is one of the youngest nuns there, and is bright eyed and ready to serve the Lord, because she feels she was saved for a reason she doesn't yet know.

That reason seems to come to fruition when she finds herself pregnant while being a virgin, and at first the entire convent is at her beckon call - until she starts questioning things, and her body experiences issues that warrant a hospital visit, but Sal and the nuns seemingly want to keep her in the convent. Is she pregnant with a deity that will save the world, or something that will bring about its end?

"Immaculate" seems a mixture of "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Omen" only without any real horror, excitement, or coherent story. The idea seems haphazardly strewn together with some cheap jump scares to try and deflect the attention of the nonsensical script and make you focus on the bright shiny thing that is jump scare after jump scare. At least that's the first part of the film, until the director probably realized it wasn't going to work anymore so he tried to make something more dramatic and grotesque with some impressive practical effects, but even then the film falls under its own hubris. Just when you think you sort of understand the incoherent story, it throws a curve ball that doesn't make a lick of sense, delving into "The Da Vinci Code" territory. It's silly and stupid, yet somehow it kept my attention.

The reason why is simple: Sydney Sweeney. She's the new "it" girl in Hollywood, and seemingly can chameleon between genres with ease. She quietly dominated the 2023-2024 box office season with her romantic comedy "Anyone But You" that almost made $100 million dollars in the domestic box office through its numerous weeks in theaters. Then she tackled action with the very much maligned "Madame Web" that bombed, but not because of her - in fact, she was one of the bright spots in the film. Now she's taking on horror with "Immaculate," and she transforms into the role of young nun Cecilia that somehow makes her look like a woman in her late teens-early twenties despite her being twenty-six. She starts the film with this doe-eyed wonder and youthful innocence, but as the events happen to and around her she hardens into a battled warrior that is a huge hero's journey adventure in under ninety minutes. 

The film itself centers on a convent in Italy where Sweeney's Cecilia seemingly has been impregnated without actual sexual intercourse, and everyone thinking she's going to give birth to a new Jesus. Essentially this is similar to a terrible film that came out in 2023 called "The Devil Conspiracy" that centered on a dark group of people who took Jesus' DNA from the Shroud of Torin and impregnated a woman in hopes of giving birth to Satan...best try not to think about it too much. That plot is very similar here in numerous ways, but at least this one was done better. The atmosphere was continuously moody and atmospheric, with Elisha Christian's cinematography illuminating the film with soft blues and muted greys that led to its ill-ease feeling.

The first half of the film is filled with jump scares that never really work because they come at you from a mile away, and then the second half delves into grotesque horror with bloody practical effects that were actually quite impressive for a low budget horror. If only the story would do it justice, but as it is, it - again - doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Thankfully the ending is enjoyable and we get one of the most impressive and fascinating scenes that proves Sweeney might have a stellar career in the horror genre.

Recycling from other movies to try and attempt to make something resembling intelligent, "Immaculate" does not conceive its own ideas but is muddled with a nonsensical script that at least Sydney Sweeney somewhat salvages.

The Score: C-