The Darkness

The Darkness

Starring Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell, David Mazouz, Lucy Fry

Directed by Greg Mclean

The Story:
Peter Taylor (Kevin Bacon), his wife Bronny (Radha Mitchell), daughter Stephanie (Lucy Fry) and autistic son Michael (David Mazouz) travel with another family to the Grand Canyon, where Michael accidentally stumbles upon an old Anasazi temple where he finds five stones.  He takes them home with him, and immediately paranormal events begin to occur, and the family begins to crumble apart.  The stones represent five demons of the Anasazi - The Crow, The Buffalo, The Wolf, The Coyote and The Snake - and once their representations manifest, the Darkness will arise and consume the family.

The Synopsis:
Before I completely rip apart this incredibly stupid excuse for a horror movie, I'll discuss what was right wtih the film.

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Alright, onto the negative.  First we got the family, which is the worst excuse for a family in the history of families.  Each character has their own stereotypical problems.  The father Peter has had affairs in the past.  Mother Bronny (seriously, worst name ever) is an alcoholic.  Daughter Stephanie is bulimic (which we see in vivid detail and possibly was supposed to be a serious side story, but just ended up being one scene and no one ever talked about it again).  The only normal family member is the son, who at least has a reason for having issues, dealing with autism (which, in all honesty, didn't have to be a part of the narrative, and it seemed like an insincere addition to the story). 

As parents, Peter and Bronny are as bad as Rick and Lori from "The Walking Dead."  They always seemed to lose their son Carl in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, and here Peter and Bronny lose Michael at every turn.  He falls into a pit where he finds the stones, and manages to get out somehow, without anyone noticing.  The two scenes where Bronny and Michael go to the grocery store, she loses him both times.  When they leave Stephanie to take care of him, she puts on her headphones and reads a book, and of course the boy wanders off.  Then, as the house is being exercised, they manage to keep him in the back of the group where he once again wanders off as demons are going crazy in the house.  Seriously, I felt that the demons would take better care of this kid than his own parents.

Then there's the story.  What an insult to the Native American community to concoct such a haphazard story involving their heritage.  Not to mention it takes the family a LONG time to realize things are seriously wrong - not that putrid smells, televisions turning on and off, doors opening and closing and other such cliche paranormal events were any indications. With other lame horror films, at least they attempt to scare the audience with an ill-placed BOO moment with crescendo music, but here those are very few and far between, and I was actually wishing to have more of that so I could stay at least somewhat entertained.

Finally, as I kept trying to pay attention to this insipid trash, I couldn't help but correlate almost the entire film to the classic horror film "Poltergeist:"
-both films involve Native Americans (Anasazi stones/house built on an Indian Burial Ground)
-both center around a child (Michael/Carol Anne)
-both films involve portals to the other side that are located in said child's room
-both have a parent going into portal to save their child
-both involve an annoying barking dog
-both involve a mystic woman who attempts to cleanse the house (Teresa/Tangina)
-both use handprints to show paranormal presence (black handprints on walls/handprints on the TV)

 The Summary:
"The Darkness" serves as an insult to kids with autism, Native Americans, bulimics, alcoholics, adulterers, Spielberg, black chalk, stones, intelligence, and horror fans as a whole.

The Score: D+