The War With Grandpa

The War With Grandpa
Starring Robert De Niro, Oakes Fegley, Uma Thurman, Rob Riggle
Directed by Tim Hill

Every year there's a film that's released that is supposed to be the family-friendly live-action comedy that also has an emotional heart to it that's supposed to make you feel happy and good, but instead left wondering what the actors were thinking.  Last year it was John Cena's abysmal "Playing With Fire," and this year it's Robert De Niro's "The War With Grandpa" - a film that was shot back in 2017, went through several different release dates, and ultimately showed that maybe it should've just sat on a dusty shelf to never be seen by good, God-fearing people ever.

When it becomes apparent that he can no longer survive on his own, Ed (Robert De Niro) is taken out of his home and brought to the home of his grown daughter Sally (Uma Thurman), her husband Arthur (Rob Riggle), their teenage daughter, their youngest daughter, and middle son Peter (Oakes Fegley), who is none-too-happy that his grandfather is taking his room while he's moved to the dusty old attic.  Despite Ed not asking for it, and showing absolutely no animosities, Peter considers this war, and sets out to get his room back by kicking his grandfather out by performing different pranks on him - leading Ed to retaliate.  As the pranks intensify, it threatens both Ed and Peter, and proves the old adage that there are no real winners in war.

There is absolutely nothing about this film that works on any sort of level.  The story itself is needlessly harsh and cruel, especially during this time of Coronavirus where grandparents are loosing their lives and tearing families apart.  It would be more understandable if Ed was a jerk who purposefully wanted to wreck Peter's life, but that's not the case at all - Ed is a loving, caring grandfather who just lost his wife as well as his entire life due to the fact that he no longer knows how to use modern technology (which is always a joke trope in these types of geriatric comedies).  He just wants to go on with life, and now he has to deal with a bratty, self-centered, egotistical snot of a grandson who will almost literally stop at nothing just to get his room back, including unleashing a snake in Ed's bed, wrecking his marble collection (which had huge sentimental value and would've sent me over the edge right there), or ruining Ed's other personal effects.  Like I said, it's entirely needlessly cruel and harsh.

The family itself is such a picture perfect dynamic it also adds to the nonsense going on.  The mother is a doting, loving mother who of course has issues with her teenage daughter liking boys.  The father is continually emasculated for the sake of comedy (which I never found funny).  The teenage daughter is experiencing boys for the first time, and the youngest daughter is still innocent and adores Christmas.  They live in a very spacious house that can more than comfortably hold everyone inside, and again, the snotty tween wants his room back for no good reason.  It's a first-world problem that's paled in comparison to the real-life problems the world is facing as a whole.

Then there's the actors.  There's films that actors have done that they're not proud of, but they needed the paycheck.  I doubt that Robert De Niro (who just came off the high of last year's "The Irishman" - and yes, I know this film was made back in 2017, but still), Uma Thurman, Christopher Walken or Jane Seymour need any extra money, so I have absolutely no idea why any of them would lend their credibility and cinematic integrity to such a dumpster-fire of a movie.  It honestly boggles my mind, and I can't wrap my head around it at all.

Anyone with at least a third of a brain would know that "The War With Grandpa" is much more than just a nonsensical, petty film about a bratty tween wanting his room back - it's also terribly blind to the real-life problems families have been facing, and most importantly, it's not even remotely funny.

The Score: D-