Scoob!

Scoob!
Starring Will Forte, Frank Welker, Mark Wahlberg, Zac Efron
Directed by Tony Cevone

I remember growing up watching the classic Hanna-Barbara cartoons like "The Flintstones," "The Jetsons," "Scooby Doo," and the like.  Of course those are the bigger named shows that even kids nowadays recognize, but there's a plethora of other classic animated shows by the company that hardly anyone under the age of 20 remember anymore like "Huckleberry Hound," "Dick Dastardly & Muttley," and "Hong Kong Phooey" that were equally as great as a child as the big three listed above.  Yet it's the lovable talking Great Dane that's achieved the most longevity, churning out animated films every so often (as well as two live-action adaptations in the early 2000s), and surprisingly there was never (to my knowledge) an origin film as to how the Mystery Inc. gang came together - until "Scoob!," which would've been a lot better if it focused on their early years, but that's just a passing notion until they're taken to present time and a long, convoluted, confusing story followed.

As a young boy, Shaggy (Iain Armitage) didn't have any friends, and wandered the beach alone, until he met a scrappy pup who shared his fondness for eating, and named him Scooby Doo (Frank Welker).  Not long after he meets a young Fred, Daphne, and Velma as they're trick or treating, and inadvertently stumble upon their first case.  Years later, Shaggy (Will Forte), Scooby (Welker), Fred (Zac Efron), Daphne (Amanda Seyfried) and Velma (Gina Rodriguez) have formed their detective agency Mystery Inc., and have unmaked several supposed ghouls and ghosts, revealing them to be ordinary humans - but their finances are dwindling.  They find a surprising investor in none other than Simon Cowell, who tells Fred, Daphne, and Velma that he won't finance their company unless Shaggy and Scooby go, because they don't offer anything to the team.

Despondent, Shaggy and Scooby go to the bowling alley where they're attacked by shape-shifting robots before they're rescued by their favorite superhero Blue Falcon (Mark Wahlberg), who needs their help in stopping Dick Dastardly (Jason Isaacs) from finding three huge dog skulls and using them to bring about the mythical Cerberus to inadvertently usher in the end of the world.

What made "Scooby Doo" so great was its classic blend of humor, heart, and mystery - every ghost or goblin was always someone in disguise, and the fun was in the unmasking and the now-iconic line: "and I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"  Somehow, it took six screenwriters to turn mostly everything that audiences loved about this over-fifty-year franchise and dumb it down yet somehow making it more complex than need be, wrapped in amazing animation...if it was done ten years ago. 

As it is with other film franchises, Hanna-Barbera wanted to get in the game and start their own unique cinematic universe, using "Scoob!" as a launchpad.  This is where the traditional ghost-human unmasking isn't necessary, because the villain was always revealed to be fellow Hanna-Barbera property Dick Dastardly, so in pretty much every sense of the word this isn't a traditional "Scooby Doo" adventure (not to mention the fact that the majority of the film is split between Shaggy and Scooby and the others).  There's even a cameo from another Hanna-Barbera classic character that all but screams that they want to make their own shared universe - but hopefully this will be the last we'll hear of it.

The film started off with promise as we see our favorite characters as children as they meet and come together, but that heart soon evaporates when they're older, and we're "gifted" with several pop culture puns and jokes that I'm sure are supposed to be funny, but the only sound I heard was the crickets outside my window.  Even the self-defecating humor failed to land successfully, and the less said about Simon Cowell's cringe-worthy cameo the better.  The movie focuses on Shaggy and Scooby's friendship and how it'll obviously be tested because all films like this have that moment, and its completely uninspired, dull, and vapid.  Then there's the actual storyline, which ping pongs all over the place without connecting on any level, resulting in a dizzying, confusing ride that seems to gloss over important information in favor of more corny jokes and puns, making the whole film feel rather unnecessary. 

When it comes to the voice talent, it's surprising that they didn't get the famous actors who played the roles in the 2002 live-action movie to reprise their vocal roles (especially Skeet Ulrich's Shaggy, which is so revered that there's still memes about his character nearly twenty years after his performance).  Instead there's Zac Efron, Amanda Seyfriend, and Gina Rodriguez who you can clearly tell don't care about the movie at all as they mind-numblingly sleepwalk through their performances, and Will Forte tries too hard to sound like the classic Shaggy.  Only Frank Welker (who voiced both Scooby and Fred in most of the straight-to-home movies) seemed to care at all, and even then it's not as inspired as his other vocal work.

Finally there's the animation, which even in the trailer looked rather dull and overly colorful.  To me, it seemed like I was watching a long cut-scene from a Playstation 3 videogame through most of it, something clearly designed to make the kids' eyes light up while making the parents' eyes roll in the back of their heads in frustration - much like every other concept of this film.

Wanting to craft a new cinematic universe, "Scoob!" instead proved why some things should just stay gone, a film that's needlessly complicated, an obvious cash grab, and lacking anything remotely resembling a soul.

The Score: D+