JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Love and Monsters Starring Dylan O'Brien, Jessica Henwick, Michael Rooker, Ariana Greenblatt Directed by Michael Matthews The post-apocalyptic cinematic world has been littered with the generic tropes: zombies, mutated humans, aliens, asteroids, man-made poisons, nuclear holocaust, and so on.  What sets "Love and Monsters" apart is that in this case, the apocalypse comes from a very unique source even if it begins typically: an asteroid heading to earth is blown up by missiles, whose residue turns insects into building-sized killers.  Not only does this make it unique, but the actual story itself is rather endearing and sweet, not something you'd typically find at the end of the world. Seven years after the governments of earth accidentally littered down radiation from missiles to take out an asteroid turned insects into humongous killing machines, those who were left behind found shelter in underground bunkers.  Joel (Dylan O'Brien) is in one such bunker, and is ...

2 Hearts Starring Jacob Elordi, Tiera Skovbye, Adan Canto, Radha Mitchell Directed by Lance Hool I remember a meme during the "Fifty Shades" craze that said basically if Christian Grey was an overweight middle-aged balding man living in a trailer had done the things that the original Christian Grey did, he would be in prison and no girl would fall in love with that type of thing, but since he is a hunky, attractive, wealthy man, then he could do whatever he wanted to women and they'd love him for it.  It's probably a bit of a over simplification, but I can't help but wonder if its more accurate than not due to the insurmountable amount of romantic dramas that are in theaters and television that stars the most attractive, well-built, perfect actors and actresses to play these roles, and expect us to actually feel for them.  Maybe if the film had cast regular looking people for the roles, we'd be more invested in them - or maybe I'm just a jaded old fool.  I...

Possessor Starring Andrea Riseborough, Christopher Abbott, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Sean Bean Directed by Brandon Cronenberg Many times a father desires their children to continue on the family legacy by doing the same type of work that they've done.  Most of the time this is blue-collar work like carrying on at a local car dealership that's been in the family line for years, or a family-owned construction company, but then there's times where the family business is showcasing your seemingly supernatural ability to get under the skin of millions of audience members by providing unforgettable films that'll shock and amaze.  Director David Cronenberg has been doing this expertly for decades in films such as "Videodrome," "The Brood," and "Scanners," and now its his son Brandon's turn to turn viewers' stomachs upside down.  He's already shown a knack for it in 2012's "Antiviral," but it's "Possessor" that t...

The High Note Starring Dakota Johnson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Ice Cube Directed by Nisha Ganatra The music industry has radically changed since the 50s and 60s, when it was more about the music than the appearance of the singer, and the likes of Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald became icons of the industry - something that probably wouldn't happen today due to their age and looks.  Now it's all about image, and the actual music takes a backseat to that, because now you can autotune anything and make anyone sound good.  This is the backdrop for "The High Note," which, unlike its title, fails to hit the most important notes that were almost literally laid bare before them. Maggie Sherwoode (Dakota Johnson) has been working for three years as a personal assistant to superstar singer Grace Davis (Tracee Ellis Ross), but she's always longed to be a producer and make a name for herself in the history of music.  She secretly works on producing Grace's ...

The War With Grandpa Starring Robert De Niro, Oakes Fegley, Uma Thurman, Rob Riggle Directed by Tim Hill Every year there's a film that's released that is supposed to be the family-friendly live-action comedy that also has an emotional heart to it that's supposed to make you feel happy and good, but instead left wondering what the actors were thinking.  Last year it was John Cena's abysmal "Playing With Fire," and this year it's Robert De Niro's "The War With Grandpa" - a film that was shot back in 2017, went through several different release dates, and ultimately showed that maybe it should've just sat on a dusty shelf to never be seen by good, God-fearing people ever. When it becomes apparent that he can no longer survive on his own, Ed (Robert De Niro) is taken out of his home and brought to the home of his grown daughter Sally (Uma Thurman), her husband Arthur (Rob Riggle), their teenage daughter, their youngest daughter, and middle s...

Scoob! Starring Will Forte, Frank Welker, Mark Wahlberg, Zac Efron Directed by Tony Cevone I remember growing up watching the classic Hanna-Barbara cartoons like "The Flintstones," "The Jetsons," "Scooby Doo," and the like.  Of course those are the bigger named shows that even kids nowadays recognize, but there's a plethora of other classic animated shows by the company that hardly anyone under the age of 20 remember anymore like "Huckleberry Hound," "Dick Dastardly & Muttley," and "Hong Kong Phooey" that were equally as great as a child as the big three listed above.  Yet it's the lovable talking Great Dane that's achieved the most longevity, churning out animated films every so often (as well as two live-action adaptations in the early 2000s), and surprisingly there was never (to my knowledge) an origin film as to how the Mystery Inc. gang came together - until "Scoob!," which would've been a l...

Ava Starring Jessica Chastain, John Malkovich, Colin Farrell, Geena Davis Directed by Tate Taylor If you're an A-list female actress in Hollywood, odds are you've starred in at least one spy espionage thriller where you're the main kick-butt-take-names assassin who's (for the most part) targeted for elimination from the company you once worked for.  Angelina Jolie in "Salt."  Charlize Theron in "Atomic Blonde."  Jennifer Lawrence in "Red Sparrow."  Saoirse Ronan in "Hanna."  That random model-wannabe-actress in "Anna."  Now it's Jessica Chastain's turn to take the mantle in "Ava," which is surprisingly more than just the average run-of-the-mill assassin-turned-rogue story, but ultimately nowhere near memorable. Ava (Jessica Chastain) is a recovering alcoholic and drug user who once had a bright future, but lost it all due to an overbearing, mentally abusive father.  She enlisted in the army, and then to...

Alone Starring Jules Willcox, Marc Menchaca, Anthony Heald, Jonathan Rosenthal Directed by John Hyams The lone survivor against a maniacal killer motif has been played out with countless films to its credit, but to me the best of them all is "The Hitcher," where a young man finds himself on the run from a killer on the open desert road.  It's got it all - suspense, action, shocking moments, fantastic cinematography, and dedicated performances.  "Alone," on the other hand, shows how this tried-and-true subgenre can follow all the rules like a classic paint-by-numbers coloring book - if it was colored in by a two-year-old. Jessica (Jules Willcox) is getting over the loss of her husband by moving out of town to parts unknown. She packs up a day before her parents were supposed to help her, and drive off alone somewhere north of Oregon, driving against the magic endless wilderness of the Pacific Northwest.  Along the way she gets into a scuffle on the road with a fe...

Infidel Starring Jim Caviezel, Claudia Karvan, Hal Ozsan, Aly Kassem Directed by Cyrus Nowrasteh I'm not a huge fan of propaganda films, movies made strictly for the purpose of the director's own agenda, because politics is divisive and I watch films to get away from such negativity.  One of the most well-known propagandist directors is Dinesh D'Souza, who directed the "documentaries" "2016: Obama's America," "America: Imagine the World Without Her," and "Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party."  So when I first saw the trailer for "Infidel" and saw it was produced by his company, I figured it'd be another propaganda-ridden film, and while there were moments, it's surprisingly not as indoctrinated as I thought it would be. Doug Rawlins (Jim Caviezel) is a famous Christian blogger whose wife Elizabeth (Claudia Karvan) works for the State Department.  He's friends with Javid (Aly Kass...

The Secrets We Keep Starring Noomi Rapace, Joel Kinnaman, Chris Messina, Amy Seimetz Directed by Yuval Adler The revenge torture-porn subgenre is rather formulaic and simple: the wronged party finds those who wronged them, doesn't rely on the police for justice, kidnaps them and tortures them in their basement until their revenge bloodlust is satisfied.  "The Secrets We Keep" follows that formula like a novice cook follows a recipe - every beat passes by in perfect order, leaving nothing in the ways of shock or amazement, just dullness. Maja (Noomi Rapace) is a Hungarian (or maybe Romanian, I honestly can't remember even though she mentioned it several times) immigrant who moved to America after marrying Lewis (Chris Messina) fifteen years after they met during World War II.  Now a loving suburban mother and wife, all seems well for her, until she sees a mysterious man wandering the streets that seems to trigger something in her.  She follows the man to his home and l...

Big Time Adolescence Starring Griffin Gluck, Pete Davidson, Jon Cryer, Oona Laurence Directed by Jason Orley The teenage coming-of-age film subgenre has been met with wild success ("Lady Bird," "Stand By Me"), and wild failures ("Paper Towns," "Wide Awake"), and with films like "Big Time Adolescence," there are those that fall somewhere in-between.  A film that really has nothing significantly wrong with it, but nothing that really sets it apart and makes it something more than just another adequate addition to the subgenre. Mo (Griffin Gluck) has been best friends with his sister's boyfriend Zeke (Pete Davidson) since he was ten, despite Zeke's older age and bad role model antics.  Now sixteen, Mo keeps getting in trouble at school, and still hangs around Zeke and his friends despite him breaking up with Mo's sister years before.  As Zeke continues to be a bad influence on Mo, he also shows a fondness for the young teen as ...

Worst2First: The 86 Films I Saw in 2020 Let's face it - 2020 sucked, especially concerning the movie industry.  Movie theaters were shut down for the majority of the year due to the Coronavirus, and several high-profile films were shelved until 2021, leaving the cinematic landscape rather barren. Yet it was also a flourishing time for independent films, as well as the streaming services.  Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Shudder, HBOMax, Disney+ and more streaming services offered a wide array of exciting and exceptional films that were streamed into our living rooms.  I was able to see 86 different films that were released in 2020 (much lower than the 160 I saw in 2019, but still), and I've ranked them all from worst to first - starting with the worst film I saw in 2020, all the way to my top ten films of 2020. **THERE WILL NOT BE SPOILERS** #86 Iron Mask There's some films that are so bad they're good, and then there's others that are so bad it's just...so bad...a...