JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Major Theatrical Releases  March 2019 As winter comes to a close, a slew of exciting films will come to theaters.  There's something for everyone in March, and it looks to be a very exciting month at the movies. Here are the major theatrical releases for March 2019. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** A Madea Family Funeral March 1 Tyler Perry first created the character of Madea for his play "I Can Do Bad All By Myself" in 1999, and since then she's erupted onto the big screen in eleven films, and has become an icon all of her own making.  Even though her appeal has waned thin as of late (and earning Perry several Razzie nominations), she remains a beloved character to many.  With "A Madea Family Funeral," Tyler Perry has stated that this will be Madea's final outing on the big screen, and looks to be about as what you'd expect from a Madea movie. Greta March 1 Taking ...

Alita: Battle Angel Starring Rosa Salazar, Christoph Waltz, Keean Johnson, Mahershala Ali Directed by Robert Rodriguez The Story: In 2563, Dr. Ido (Christoph Waltz) fixes cyborgs with spare parts that fall from the levitating city of Zalem, and one day finds a disembodied female cyborg with a working human brain, and uses the cyborg body he kept for his recently-deceased daughter to create a new being.  Naming her Alita (Rosa Salazar), he acts like her protective father, as she slowly comes into her own despite having no memories of her past life. She embarks on a normal teenage path including disobeying her surrogate father and falling for teenager Hugo (Keean Johnson), who introduces her to the sport of Motorball.  Meanwhile, Vector (Mahershala Ali) and his assistant Dr. Chiren (Jennifer Connelly) seek out parts to create the ultimate warrior for Motorball, and learn of Alita's prowess.  As she begins to have memories of her past, she exhibits amazing figh...

Worst2First:  My Most Anticipated Films of Spring 2019 Usually the months of March and April are times where films are released that will be easily forgotten during the heightened summer season, but this year there's a decent crop of films that have been highly anticipated, and looks to be two exciting months at the theater. Here are my personal top ten most anticipated films of spring 2019, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE** #10  The Curse of La Llorona April 19 The legend of La Llorona comes from Latin American folklore, and focuses on a woman who lost her children and became a weeping spirit, who continually searches for her lost children and takes living children as her own.  Unfortunately, the legend sounds more intriguing than what this film will deliver, but I'm always up for a good ghost story. #9  Missing Link April 12 Laika has always been known for releasing qua...

91st Academy Awards Predictions Generally the theme of the Academy Awards tends to be "expect the unexpected" for many of the categories, and I typically don't fare too well in my own predictions when it comes to the "lesser known" categories.  We'll see if I can do better this year. VISUAL EFFECTS Avengers: Infinity War Christopher Robin First Man Ready Player One Solo: A Star Wars Story There was a lot of standout visual effects films last year, and while I personally would love for "Avengers" to win, I feel the Academy will honor a film that's more dramatic, which is why I'm picking "First Man."  COSTUME DESIGN The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Black Panther The Favourite Mary Poppins Returns Mary Queen of Scots I'm a sucker for period pieces, and the costumes for "The Favourite" and "Mary Queen of Scots" were exceptional, but I'm going with the film that rec...

Can You Ever Forgive Me? Starring Melissa McCarthy, Richard E. Grant, Dolly Wells, Jane Curtin Directed by Marielle Heller The Story: Lee Israel (Melissa McCarthy) was a modestly successful biographer in the 70s and 80s, but never really made a name for herself independently as an author.  As the 90s began, no one was interested anymore in those she wanted to write about, and even her publicist Marjorie (Jane Curtin) refused to help her.  She finds herself broke, without a job, about to be evicted, and dealing with an ill cat and finds her life spiraling out of control, until she finds a personal letter from a famous person and decides to sell it.  She doesn't get as much for it because the letter was too plain, so she writes letters herself pretending to be famous people and makes them more interesting, which starts bringing in the cash. When the FBI starts getting wind of the forgeries, she enlists her only friend Jack Hock (Richard E. Grant) to sell her f...

Happy Death Day 2U Starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, Phi Vu, Rachel Matthews Directed by Christopher Landon The Story: Having survived the time loop in which she was murdered by a killer in a Babyface mask, Tree (Jessica Rothe) is now living her ideal life - she's nicer, wiser, and dating Carter (Israel Broussard).  Then his roommate Ryan (Phi Vu) experiences deja vu after experiencing his own death, and Tree realizes that the time loop has moved to him.  She learns that Ryan, Carter, and their other friends have been working on a quantum reactor, and when it accidentally goes off, Tree finds herself stuck again in her original loop, but things are different - yet the Babyface killer is back, and now she has to unmask the new killer before it claims the lives of her friends and fix the future for good. The Synopsis: In 2017, "Happy Death Day" became a pleasant surprise in the horror genre, offering a unique spin on the slasher film as it mixed it wi...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Best Picture Oscar Nominees That Didn't Win They say it's an honor to just be nominated, but in the heart of everyone who's nominated for an Academy Award, they desperately desire to win that golden statue.  While there can only be one winner per year, there's several nominees who easily could've taken the gold instead. Here are my personal top ten Best Picture Oscar nominees that didn't win, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10  Call Me By Your Name One of the most poignant, powerful love stories of modern time, "Call Me By Your Name" was filled with fantastic performances, beautiful cinematography, and a stirring story, but it lost to "The Shape of Water." #9  Avatar A stunning cinematic achievement, "Avatar" became the highest grossing movie of all time for awhile (before "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" beat it), and included state-...