JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Major Theatrical Releases April 2018 April typically brings the films that studios want to ditch before the epic summer season starts, and it looks like 2018 is no exception...well, except one.  Summer will start early this year, as the most anticipated movie in the last ten years will be unleashed on the world at the end of the month, leaving all other competitors in the dust. Here are the major theatrical releases for April 2018. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS,  Also, dates are subject to change** A Quiet Place April 6 Directed by John Krasinski and also starring him and his real-life wife Emily Blunt, "A Quiet Place" has an fascinating premise - the world has been overtaken by creatures who hunt their prey through sound, and in order to survive, you cannot make a noise.  It will be interesting to see how they portray a film with very little sound and make it effective, but the trailers make it seem downright terrifying and the film has alrea...

Pacific Rim: Uprising Starring John Boyega, Scott Eastwood, Cailee Spaney, Rinko Kikuchi Directed by Steven S. DeKnight The Story: Ten years after an inter-dimensional portal at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean was closed, keeping out the monstrous kaiju, the world is starting to rebuild.  Jake Pentecost (John Boyega) - the son of General Pentecost (Idris Elba) - is living the life of a nomad, stealing in order to survive, and comes upon fellow scrapper Amara Namani (Cailee Spaeny), a spunky young girl who's building her own Jaeger - giant robots used to defeat the kaiju before - because she fears they will one day return. After a brush with the law, both Pentecost and Amara are sent to Pan-Pacific Defense Corps, where Pentecost first worked for, to be trained to pilot more Jaegers.  Pentecost is reunited with his former friend Nate (Scott Eastwood), and learns there's a corporation led by Liwen Shao (Jing Tian) who plan on creating Jaegers that can be controlled ...

Pi Starring Sean Gullette, Mark Margolis, Ben Shenkman, Pamela Hart Directed by Darren Aronofsky The Story: Max Cohen (Sean Gullette) is a mathematical genius who believes in three things: mathematics is the language of the universe, nature can be expressed in numbers, and there are patterns everywhere in nature.  If he can find that mathematical equation, he can unlock the secrets of the universe - the existence of God, life itself, and how to become rich. Max is also a loner who suffers from debilitating headaches, and only confides in his old professor Sol (Mark Margolis), until he meets Hasidic Jew Lenny (Ben Shenkman), who wants Max to uncover the secret name of God through an intricate 216-digit number.  Max is also hounded by Marcy Dawson (Pamela Hart), a Wall Street agent who wants to use Max to predict the Stock Market, and resorts to violence and stalking to get what she wants.  Max finds not just his physical life in danger, but more importantly h...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Films I Wanted to Like But Didn't There are some films that have been deemed classic that I just personally don't like.  There are others whose trailers make them seem like they're going to be spectacular, but end up dull as dishwater.  Then there are others that have been long awaited and anticipated, but the hype didn't live up to the actuality. Here are my personal top ten films that I wanted to like but didn't, worst2first (here, the first is the one I was most disappointed in). **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 Collateral Beauty With an acting pedigree like Will Smith, Helen Mirren, Edward Norton, Keira Knightley, Naomie Harris and Michael Pena, you'd expect the film to be something memorable for all the right reasons, but instead it's known for being a jumbled mess of a film that's supposed to be emotional and heartfelt, but ended up leaving you feeling cheated.  When a man looses his daughter, he...

Unsane Starring Claire Foy, Joshua Leonard, Jay Pharoah, Juno Temple Directed by Steven Soderbergh The Story: For two years, Sawyer Valentini (Claire Foy) has been stalked by David Strine (Joshua Leonard), after she tended to his ailing father.  He became obsessed with her, causing her to move to a different state, get a new job, change all her normal routines, and keep her living in a constant state of fear and depression. After visiting a psychiatrist, she fills out what she thinks are normal forms, but they're papers that allow the psychiatric hospital to keep her overnight.  After she attacks a nurse after thinking he is David, she is confined to the mental ward for seven days.  She then sees David again as another nurse and panics, believing he has found her and that her life is in danger - but no one believes her.  Has David actually found her, or is she really going insane? The Synopsis: The first thing you notice with "Unsane" is that the asp...

Midnight Sun Starring Bella Thorne, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Rob Riggle, Quinn Shephard Directed by Scott Speer The Story: Katie Price (Bella Thorne) is your typical everyday teenage girl: she plays guitar, loves her father Jack (Rob Riggle), and spends countless amount of hours with her best friend Morgan (Quinn Shephard), but she has one big secret: she suffers from a disease known as xeroderma pigmentosum (XP for short), which basically means if she steps foot into the daylight, the sun's light will kill her.  So she lives cooped up in her home at day, and ventures out to the train station at night to play guitar. On graduation night, she goes to the station as usual, but then arrives Charlie (Patrick Schwarzenegger), who lives down the street from Katie and whom Katie has had a secret obsession with since childhood.  She is befuddled and uneasy, clearly intimidated by talking to her childhood crush, but he is amused by her awkwardness, and they begin dating. ...

Paul, Apostle of Christ Starring Jim Caviezel, James Faulkner, Olivier Martinez, Joanne Whalley Directed by Andrew Hyatt The Story: In A.D. 67, Christians are being persecuted by Emperor Nero, who set fire to Rome and blamed the Christians.  In prison, Paul (James Faulkner) is nearing the end of his life, and wants to recount his adventures to his companion Luke (Jim Caviezel) before he dies.  Luke is welcomed in Rome by the persecuted Christians under the leadership of married couple Aquilla (John Lynch) and Priscilla (Joanne Whalley), as they contemplate staying in Rome or leaving for safety. Prefect Mauritius (Olivier Martinez) is preparing for Paul's execution, but also struggling with an ailing daughter, and his prayers to his gods go unheeded.  Luke - a physician by trade - could heal the girl, but Mauritius refuses to let a Christian see her.  The faith of all these men will be tested, as well as the persecuted Christians in Rome. The Synopsis:...

I Can Only Imagine Starring J. Michael Finley, Dennis Quaid, Trace Adkins, Cloris Leachman Directed by Andrew Erwin & Jon Erwin The Story: Growing up in 1985, young Bart Millard was subjected to his father Arthur (Dennis Quaid), a physically and mentally abusive man who attacked both the young boy and his wife, and after his mother drops him off at church camp, she leaves for good.  When Bart returns, he finds that it's just him and his father, and he endures growing up with his abuse.  Bart escapes through music, and discovers that he has a great singing voice that he keeps from his athletically inclined father, and he begins shutting himself out from everyone including his girlfriend Shannon (Madeline Carroll). Chasing his dream, Bart fronts a Christian rock band called MercyMe, and is discovered by manager Scott Brickell (Trace Adkins), but they can't find a record label who will take them, because they're not amazing - they're missing something, and...

Love, Simon Starring Nick Robinson, Logan Miller, Jennifer Garner, Josh Duhamel Directed by Greg Berlanti The Story: Simon Spier (Nick Robinson) is a typical teenager just like you: he has a younger sister who he loves, supportive parents (Jennifer Garner and Josh Duhamel), and three best friends Leah (Katherine Langford), Nick (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.), and Abby (Alexandra Shipp).  He's a senior about to graduate high school, and he has one big secret - he's gay. He doesn't feel like his friends or family will shun him if he comes out, but he's worried about how it could change everything for him, so he remains hidden, until a fellow student with an online screen name Blue announces on a blog that he's also a closeted gay teen, and the two begin communicating through e-mail and anonymous pseudonyms.  As they spend time communicating, Simon begins developing feelings for Blue, and wants to protect his secret at any cost. When he accidentally leaves his e...

Who Framed Roger Rabbit Starring Bob Hoskins, Christopher Lloyd, Stubby Kaye, Charles Fleischer Directed by Robert Zemeckis  The Story: In 1947 Los Angeles, humans and cartoons live side-by-side, and the biggest star in the toon world is Roger Rabbit, a lovable if not slightly dumb rabbit who somehow married the beautiful and sensual Jessica Rabbit.  Lately, Roger hasn't been performing to his capability, so private detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) is hired to investigate Roger's wife and find proof that she was cheating on him, despite Eddie's misgivings in helping toons after his brother was killed by a toon. Eddie finds evidence that Jessica is in fact cheating, which sends Roger over the edge, and the next morning the man Eddie found Jessica with is found murdered, with Roger the prime suspect.  Roger claims his innocence to Eddie, and he agrees to help Roger find the real culprit, which leads both of them into a dangerous web of deceit, murder, and...