Return to Sleepaway Camp

Return to Sleepaway Camp

Starring Vincent Pastore, Michael Gibney, Paul DeAngelo, Jonathan Tiersten

Directed by Robert Hiltzik

The Story:
Twenty years after the massacre at Camp Arawak, the summer camp is open again thanks to greedy owner Frank (Vincent Pastore), and his junior partner Ronnie (Paul DeAngelo) - who was a counselor at the campground when the murders occurred.

Now Alan (Michael Gibney), a camper, is being horrendously hounded by fellow campers and even counselors alike, but he also serves as a bully to other kids.  When people at the camp start dying, Ronnie fears that his old nemesis has returned, and seeking revenge.

The Synopsis:

**SPOILERS FOR THE PREVIOUS FILMS INCLUDED!**

The "Sleepaway Camp" franchise has never been known for its epic storytelling or fantastic acting, but rather the thrilling kills and tongue-in-cheek humor (at least with the two sequels), as well as one of the most original twist endings in horror - or any other genre.  It's maintained a cult following since the first premiered in 1983, so when the original director wrote a new script and even brought on some of the original actors, it looked like it was eagerly time to grab a sleeping bag and enjoy another romp at camp.  Unfortunately, what resulted was a mess of a film, shoddy editing, terrible acting, unlikable characters, kills that were anything but original, and an ending that was the biggest slap in the face to "Sleepaway Camp" fans.

The editing in the film is easily the worst part of the film.  The movie begins in the middle of summer camp without any proper introductions, we just see Alan (Michael Gibney) picking on a couple of kids, and we think he's the main antagonist.  Then we see other kids picking on Alan, and find that he's supposed to be the relateable character we're supposed to root for, but it's nearly impossible do to his own terrible nature.  I'm digressing, so let's get back to the editing.  So there's the beginning of the film, and it only gets worse from there.  We have blackouts to different scenes, jumbled messes, and scenes that last way too long without any payout.  It's like a failed high school production company.

The acting in the film is easily the worst part of the film.  No one seemed to really be enjoying being a part of the film, and there's a few surprisingly big names attached to the project.  Vincent "The Sopranos" Pastore somehow signed up to star as the manager, and he looks about as interested in being on the film as I'm interested in sports.  The other big name is Isaac "South Park" Hayes, who plays the chef - now here I can appreciate obvious puns, since he was the famed Chef on "South Park," but still - and sadly is his final role in a film before his death.  Much like Orson Welles - who's famed for his "War of the Worlds" telecast as well as films like "Citizen Kane" - Hayes ended his film career on a very low note (Welles last film was the voice of Unicron in "Transformers: The Movie," which personally is one of my favorites but seeing how much of a star-studded career Welles had, it's a low note to go out on).  The other actors are no-name people who never seemed to have a role before or since, and it's no surprise because none of them are terribly good at what they do.

The unlikable characters is easily the worst part of the film.  We're supposed to root for and feel sympathy for Alan, but he is no Angela.  While he gets picked on, he's also picking on other kids, and it's hard to like a bully, and we all eagerly anticipated him getting the axe.  He's loud, abrasive, self-righteous and demanding, and all around pain.  Sadly, he's the only character that has any development outside the typical camper tropes - the bully jock, the pretty girl, the sassy African American girl, the protective counselor, the bully counselor, the stoners, the overbearing boss, etc. None of them are memorable, and the only one that is barely memorable is due to all the wrong reasons.  You don't even care who the killer is, you just want it to be over.

The kills that were anything but original is easily the worst part of the film.  Sure, they were unique - such as a man being eaten alive by rats - but after seeing films like "Saw" and other torture-porn films of the like, it's hard to classify the kills as original.  They're bland and boring, and the effects are extremely dated and unintentionally hilarious.  A person who drives through a barbed wire fence to the face shouldn't still be moving hours after it happened, yet somehow she was.

The ending was easily the worst part of the film.  The original "Sleepaway Camp" had the most unique ending, one you never saw coming, and still remember to this day.  In fact, when anyone mentions "Sleepaway Camp" to a genuine horror fan, that's the first thing that comes to mind.  It's clear they tried to re-create that same magic here, but you can't perform magic when you're a Muggle.  The ending is so contrived that it makes the previous time you wasted watching this film moot, as the killer reveal makes absolutely no sense.

The Summary:
Sadly, there's a lot that add to why this film was terrible, yet absolutely no reason why it was even decent.  It's a depressing way to end such a tongue-in-cheek franchise, but let's still hope that this camp stays closed for good.

The Score: F