Halloween II

Halloween II

Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie, Danielle Harris

Directed by Rob Zombie

The Story:
Two years after her encounter with Michael, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is now a pill-popping, foul-mouthed drunk who can't come to grips with what happened to her.  Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) is now a worldwide famous author after telling the story of what happened, and spends his time on television shows and publicity stunts.  Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) is making his way across Illinois to be with his sister, while having visions of his mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) and his younger self with a white horse.  On Halloween, Michael makes his way home once again.

The Synopsis:
Rob Zombie took the "Halloween" mythology and turned it on its head by centering on Michael Myers as a child, something that was never explored in John Carpenter's original vision.  That set the rest of the films apart and made it at least a bit interesting, to see why Michael got his homicidal rage.  With the second installment, however, Zombie decided to take a dump on everything "Halloween" meant, and reduce it to a nonsensical, droll, terrible film that doesn't deserve the title of "Halloween."

There's so many places to begin with what went wrong, I can't even think of one thing Zombie did right.  Tyler Mane's Michael is a looming presence, someone who could go toe-to-toe with Jason Voorhees himself, and he spends most of the film traversing the Illinois countryside getting back to Haddonfield (I don't even know where he was to have to take such a trek, maybe it's mentioned, but I wasn't paying attention).  He spends a good amount of time without the mask, and looks like a rugged mountain man from Appalachia.  Plus he has visions of his mother in white, his younger self, and a white horse.  This addition is a slap in the face to "Halloween" fans, because it's pointless, vapid, and makes the story even more confusing than it already was.  It was pretty much just a reason to include Zombie's wife Sheri Moon Zombie.

Second is how Zombie butchered the history of Dr. Loomis.  Donald Pleasence's Loomis would never do anything for selfish gain, but here Malcolm McDowell pretty much thinks of no one else but himself, and how he can make money off the backs of Michael's victims.  He's a self-indulgent, self-centered shell of a person and Pleasence would once again be spinning in his grave.

Third is how Zombie tarnished the legacy of Laurie Strode.  Jamie Lee Curtis's Laurie was a nice girl who was someone we could easily root for.  She had an inner strength that's beyond most people, and caused her to stand up and fight.  On the other hand, there's Scout Taylor-Compton's Laurie.  After the events in the previous film, she is seeing a psychiatrist (Margot Kidder, in a surprising role), popping pills, getting drunk, and cursing up a storm.  She's basically a bratty girl who has some severe PTSD that she's handling poorly, and she's no longer someone I was rooting for - unless it was rooting for Michael to take her out.

Finally there's the whole story in itself.  Zombie has been on the record saying he hated the original "Halloween II," and now he didn't focus on the hospital at all (except in an extended dream sequence featuring the deaths of several nurses, including future Oscar winner Octavia Spencer), but rather goes two years later.  What has Michael been doing in those two years?  Did he just start seeing his mother now?  Why didn't he come back one year later?  Why should we care?  Anyway, now Laurie is living with Annie (Danielle Harris, the one light in this mess), and basically spends the film crying, screaming, and yelling at anyone she comes into contact with.  Michael travels the fields of Illinois, killing random hillbilly folk, and Loomis is on a nationwide book tour.  Basically it's just fodder until we get to the ultimate showdown, which is a letdown in every feasible sense.  Even the Director's Cut couldn't save the film from being an excuse to unleash as many F-bombs as possible while ramping up the gore to the n-th degree.

The Summary:
Even though he brought a new vision in his first film, Rob Zombie took anything good that was "Halloween" and threw it out the window for the sequel, making a wholly detestable film that any true "Halloween" fan would despise.

The Score: F