JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Trick 'r Treat Starring Dylan Baker, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Jean-Luc Bilodeau Directed by Michael Dougherty The Story: "Trick 'r Treat" is a horror anthology film that tells four interconnecting stories about Halloween night in a small Ohio town, with its main protagonist the silent Sam (Quinn Lord), a child-like being wearing a burlap sack for a mask who makes sure people are following the rules of Halloween - and severely punishing those who don't. We meet Principal Steven Wilkins (Dylan Baker), who doesn't really care for Halloween, and ensues to teach children the importance of checking their candy before they eat it.  Then there's a group of girls, including shy, virginal Laurie (Anna Paquin), who attend a Halloween party where things get a little crazy.  We hear about the curse of the school bus massacre that occurred thirty years earlier, and how their spirits still linger.  Then there's the crotchety old man Mr. Kreeg (Brian Cox...

Suburbicon Starring Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, Oscar Isaac, Noah Jupe Directed by George Clooney The Story: In the idyllic small town of Suburbicon in 1959, the town is shook when the first African American family moves in, resulting in the townspeople becoming an unrelenting mob who stands outside their house day and night making noises and treating them like garbage, saying they're ruining their perfect town. Meanwhile, Suburbicon residents Gardner (Matt Damon), his wife Rose (Julianne Moore), her twin sister Margaret (also Moore) and young son Nicky (Noah Jupe) are being held up by two thugs.  The family is chloroformed, and when Nicky comes to in the hospital, he finds that his mother has died.  Margaret moves in in hopes of giving Nicky a more normal life, but things start spiraling downhill fast, causing Nicky to doubt everyone around him.  Things only get worse when insurance claims investigator Bud Cooper (Oscar Isaac) visits, with questions surroun...

Halloween II Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie, Danielle Harris Directed by Rob Zombie The Story: Two years after her encounter with Michael, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is now a pill-popping, foul-mouthed drunk who can't come to grips with what happened to her.  Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) is now a worldwide famous author after telling the story of what happened, and spends his time on television shows and publicity stunts.  Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) is making his way across Illinois to be with his sister, while having visions of his mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) and his younger self with a white horse.  On Halloween, Michael makes his way home once again. The Synopsis: Rob Zombie took the "Halloween" mythology and turned it on its head by centering on Michael Myers as a child, something that was never explored in John Carpenter's original vision.  That set the rest of the films apart and made it at least a bit inte...

Geostorm Starring Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish, Andy Garcia Directed by Dean Devlin The Story: In 2019, after Global Warming totally destroyed the world with cataclysmic weather events, the world banded together and created Dutch Boy, a series of satellites that controls Earth's climate, designed and built under the direction of Jake Lawson (Gerard Butler).  Jake is relieved of command by his brother, Max (Jim Sturgess), who retains command of Dutch Boy for three years until it is given control from America to the world. A few weeks before the trade-off happens, a series of glitches occur that result in mass casualties on Earth, and it soon becomes apparent that someone is purposefully sabotaging the station.  Jake is enlisted to go up to the main base to find how to fix it, while Max stays on Earth and works with his Secret Service girlfriend (Abbie Cornish) to find out who would want to cause a global extinction. The Synopsis: When I was a chil...

Halloween Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Daeg Faerch, Tyler Mane, Sheri Moon Zombie Directed by Rob Zombie The Story: In Haddonfield, Illinois, young Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) grows up in the not-so-ideal home: his father is a crippled pervert, his sister is uncaring, and his mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) works as a stripper, but she also has a heart of gold.  He exhibits signs of a psycho, killing animals before turning his eyes on humans.  On Halloween night he kills his family, except youngest sister Laurie and his mother. Myers is sent to a psychiatric institution under the care of Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell), who learns that Michael is pure evil, and nothing will change it.  Fifteen years in the asylum, and a now adult Michael (Tyler Mane) breaks out and makes his way back home to Haddonfield. In Haddonfield, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) and her friends are planning Halloween activities, unaware that the Boogeyman himself is making his...

Halloween: Resurrection Starring Bianca Kajlich, Busta Rhymes, Sean Patrick Thomas, Katee Sackhoff Directed by Rick Rosenthal The Story: Years after the events of "H20," Michael Myers has returned to his old home to find it taken over by a reality show run by Freddie (Busta Rhymes) and Nora (Tyra Banks).  They've selected six college students to wear a camera and spend the night inside his home, in hopes of drawing up online scares for Halloween.  When Michael starts killing again, those watching think it's part of the joke, until it's too late. The Synopsis: "Halloween: H20" was a true gift to the fans.  It reunited Jamie Lee Curtis's Laurie Strode with her homicidal brother, and turned the tables on the masked villain.  It was the perfect way to end the "Halloween" franchise and allowing good to ultimately win over evil.  Unfortunately, in Hollywood, when a film ranks up the dough, they need to keep the franchise alive.  ...

Cult of Chucky Starring Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Michael Therriault, Alex Vincent Directed by Don Mancini The Story: Four years after the killer doll Chucky killed her family, Nica Pierce (Fiona Dourif) has been committed to an insane asylum, under the direction of Dr. Foley (Michael Therriault).  She begins to believe that she was the one who committed the murders, and suffers from schizophrenia.  However, when the doctor brings in a Good Guy Doll, terror begins striking the hospital as patients begin dying, and Fiona realizes that Chucky is real and back to finish what he started.  Meanwhile, after being tormented by the doll for decades, Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent) holds Chucky's animated head to torture, but when he learns of murders starting at the hospital, he learns that Chucky has managed to transfer his soul to different Good Guy dolls, and sets out to stop him once and for all, with Chucky's former love Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) also on her way to r...

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams, Adam Arkin Directed by Steve Miner The Story: Twenty years after surviving her fight with her psychotic brother Michael Myers, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) now goes by Keri Tate, lives in California, is the headmistress of a private high school, and has a son named John (Josh Hartnett).  The events that happened to her has shaped her into a paranoid, over-protective mother and a person who relies on drugs to keep the nightmares at bay. Meanwhile, Josh wants to live his own life, and with his girlfriend Molly (Michelle Williams) and some other friends, decide to stay behind while the rest of the kids go on a school trip.  Michael - having found Laurie's identity and location - makes his way to California and Laurie's nightmare comes to life as she once again comes face-to-face with ultimate evil. The Synopsis: In 1978, John Carpenter brought to life an unstoppable ki...

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers Starring Donald Pleasence, Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan, Devin Gardner Directed by Joe Chappelle The Story: After the events in the fifth "Halloween," Jamie Lloyd and Michael Myers are taken by a druid cult, where Jamie gives birth to a boy.  She goes on the run with the child, and Michael chases them back to Haddonfield, where Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd) - who was a child when Laurie Strode babysat him the night Michael returned the first time - is now grown up and obsessed with finding and killing him for good. Going along with that, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) also wants to make sure Michael is dead for good, and travels back to Haddonfield to find Tommy, along with Kara Strode (Marianne Hagan) and her young son Danny (Devin Gardner), who live in Michael's old house and are relatives of Laurie.  Danny has been experiencing visions and hearing the voice of a man who tells him to kill, and when Michael returns home the kills...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Horror Franchises The horror movie genre is unique in the fact that it has a lot of different franchises that's spawned from a movie.  Sure, there's other genres that do the same (such as the Marvel Cinematic Universe), but the horror genre is known for their franchises.  They've crafted countless number of movies to scare the crap out of you, and for the most part they're decent. Here are my personal top ten horror franchises, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS!** #10 Final Destination Total Movies: 5 Best: Final Destination Worst: The Final Destination What makes the "Final Destination" franchise stand out from the others on this list (besides one) is that the killer is what is not seen: Death itself.  The premise is this: in each film, someone has a premonition of mass death, and stops it from happening.  This doesn't sit well with Death, who proceeds to kill its intended victims one-by-one in ...

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Starring Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, Beau Starr Directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard The Story: One year after the police force shot Michael Myers into a mine shaft, young Jamie (Danielle Harris) is so traumatized by the event - as well as stabbing her foster mother - that she's gone mute and is hospitalized in a children's home.  Meanwhile, Michael was rescued by a recluse and has been kept in the man's living room in a coma state for a year. On Halloween, Michael wakes up, and Jamie has a psychic bond with her Uncle.  She knows he's alive and coming for her, but she still can't speak, even though Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) tries to get the information out of her.  Michael returns to Haddonfield and stalks Jamie's foster sister Rachel (Ellie Cornell) and her friends Tina (Wendy Kaplan), Mikey (Jonathan Chapin), Samantha (Tamara Glynn) and Spitz (Matthew Walker), while Jamie keeps a...

Only the Brave Starring Josh Brolin, Miles Teller, Jennifer Connelly, Jeff Bridges Directed by Joseph Kosinski The Story: Eric Marsh (Josh Brolin) is the head boss of a team of Arizona firefighters who are seeking to be credentialed to be Hotshots, an elite crew that's able to go into the heart of wildfires and put them out from the inside.  Until then, they have to wait on the peripheral, putting out fires from a distance.  Thanks to division chief Duane Steinbrink (Jeff Bridges), they get their chance to prove their worth, after taking in former bad boy Brendan McDonough (Miles Teller), who wishes to clean up his act after becoming a father. The crew is certified and becomes the Granite Mountain Hotshots, and they become the local heroes after they prevent a fire from destroying a beloved tree that's been growing for decades.  We see how being a part of an elite firefighting team affects family life, as Brendan struggles to be the father he never had, while...

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Starring Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, George P. Wilbur Directed by Dwight H. Little The Story: Ten years after the events of "Halloween II," Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) has been in a coma, but while being transferred hears that he now has a young niece, Jamie (Danielle Harris), and comes back to life to embark on a killing spree to Haddonfield to finish off his family line. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is hot on Michael's trail, and Jamie and her adopted sister Rachel (Ellie Cornell) are totally unaware of the evil that's coming.  When Halloween hits, Michael strikes and the town that dreaded his name will once again come under the carnage he inflicts on Halloween night. The Synopsis: John Carpenter re-invented the slasher genre with his groundbreaking "Halloween," giving birth to serial killer Michael Myers, a name that's synonymous with Halloween.  His first ...