JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Warcraft Starring Travis Fimmel, Paula Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper Directed by Duncan Jones The Story: To flee their dying homeland of Draenor, the orcs travel through a magical portal to the human world of Azeroth, and begin taking over their land.  Orc soldier Durotan (Toby Kebbell) becomes wary of his leader, and begins questioning their violent overtaking of this new world, fearful it will just turn into like his previous home. Meanwhile, Anduin Lothar (Travis Fimmel) is a knight serving his fair king Wrynn (Dominic Cooper), and when the orcs attack, he organizes a full-scale retaliation, with the help of their "Guardian" (Ben Foster), a man endued with great magic designed to protect the land.  They capture half-orc, half-human Garona (Paula Patton), who might hold the key to ending the battle. The Synopsis: First of all, I have never played a second of Warcraft, so this movie was specifically not geared for me.  However, when you want to make a f

Major Theatrical Releases July 2016 As summer begins heating up, so generally does the movies at the box office.  Generally the Fourth of July weekend boasts huge blockbuster hits ("Transformers: Dark of the Moon," "Spider-Man 2," "Independence Day," "Despicable Me 2" to name a few), but it seems that this year's crop isn't as exciting as previous years.  Throw in a much-maligned reboot, the fifth movie of a series that should've ended after the first, and some typical raunchy comedies, and you've got a month that could prove to be a huge disappointment - if not for three films in particular that could save it. Here are the major theatrical movies being released in July 2016.  July 1 The Legend of Tarzan Once again, they've gone back to the well that is the story of Tarzan - unfortunately that well dried up years ago.  This movie takes us through his birth, early life, trying to become civilized in London,

Independence Day: Resurgence  Starring Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Liam Hemsworth, Maika Monroe Directed by Roland Emmerich The Story: Twenty years after Earth defeated an alien invasion, we've got peace in the world, and we've learned how to use the alien technology to further protect us and serve as a shot in the arm for forward thinking (however, for some reason, they decide to not use force fields).  As the anniversary approaches, the new President (Sela Ward) requests the attention of scientist David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and former President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) to attend the big soirée.  Meanwhile, Whitmore's daughter Patricia (Maika Monroe) is now grown up, working in the White House, and engaged to Jake (Liam Hemsworth), a pilot currently assigned patrol on the moon. Meanwhile, Dylan Hiller (Jessie Usher), the now-grown son of famed war hero (and conveniently deceased) Steven Hiller is a captain in the ESD (Earth Space Defense), and takes a tea

Zoolander No. 2 Starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Will Ferrell Directed by Ben Stiller The Story: After defeating Mugatu and saving the Prime Minister of Malaysia, supermodel Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) went on to build his Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too, but disaster strikes when it collapses, and Zoolander goes into retirement and seclusion, along with fellow supermodel Hansel (Owen Wilson), who was injured in the event. Fifteen years later, Billy Zane (Billy Zane) convinces Derek and Hansel to come out of retirement and attend the House of Atoz fashion show, specifically telling Zoolander he can get custody of his son back.  The two travel to Rome, where they're publicly humiliated on the runway due to being too old and outdated, and then meet Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz), who works for the Interpol Fashion Police.  She tells them that famous pop stars are being killed,

Independence Day Starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell Directed by Roland Emmerich The Story: As Americans prepare to celebrate the Fourth of July, an unknown alien race has arrived, its mother ship sending smaller ships all over the world.  President Whitmore (Bill Pullman), at first, doesn't know how to approach it.  Meanwhile, MIT-computer expert David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) discovers that the aliens are using their satellites against them, and are planning a coordinated attack. As the aliens attack, the President, David, and other government officials escape and make it to Area 51, where an alien ship that crash landed in Roswell is stored.  A plan is devised to stop the invasion before it begins, and its up to David and Captain Steve Hiller (Will Smith) to lead the charge against the incoming alien horde and save the world from annihilation. The Synopsis: Before "Independence Day," there wasn't a full-scale alien invasi

The Nice Guys Starring Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice, Kim Basinger Directed by Shane Black The Story: In 1977 Los Angeles, porn star Misty Mountains (Murielle Telio) is murdered, yet her aunt claims she is still alive.  She hires private detective Holland March (Ryan Gosling) to find her, but he ends up with the same knowledge as everyone else - she's dead.  However, his investigation does turn up facts about a woman named Amelia Kutner (Margaret Qualley), the daughter of the head of Department of Justice Judith Kutner (Kim Basinger).  Amelia hires enforcer Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe) to stop March from following her and, after beating him up, decides to team up with him to find Amelia before a gang of killers do. With the aide of March's thirteen-year-old daughter Holly (Angourie Rice), the trio discover the truth behind Misty's death, connections with other murders and the disappearance of Amelia, as well as piecing the puzzle together involvi

Now You See Me 2 Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Morgan Freeman Directed by Jon Chu The Story: After their daring heist over a year ago, the Four Horsemen - Danny (Jesse Eisenberg), Merritt (Woody Harrelson), Jack (Dave Franco) and newcomer Lula (Lizzy Caplan) are in hiding, while their leader, FBI Agent Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo) helps them from the inside by sending the FBI on wild goose chases.  They're waiting orders from The Eye - the magician's secret underground society - for their next assignment. This comes from Dylan, who informs the Horsemen that they're to stop a tech company who's designed a computer chip that can data-mine any computer in the world.  Their show-stopping antics, however, is thwarted and they find themselves at the mercy of Walter Mabry (Daniel Radcliffe), who wants the computer chip for himself, and forces the Horsemen to retrieve it. While this is happening, Dylan is trying to locate the Horsemen,

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Favorite Alien Invasion Films Ever since the birth of cinema, there's been the alien invasion movies.  The first one was 1902's "A Trip to the Moon," and has been followed by corny, downright laughable films ("Plan 9 From Outer Space," "Abbott and Costello Go to Mars," "Fire Maidens of Outer Space," and "Have Rocket, Will Travel" are just some of them), as well as some cult classics and crowd-pleasing epics.  With the upcoming sequel to "Independence Day" hitting theaters this Friday, I compiled a list of my personal top ten favorite alien invasion movies, Worst2First. **There will be no spoilers.** #10 They Live The film has amassed a cult following since its release, but it's far from a perfect dramatic piece - then again, that's not the point here.  The film, starring the late wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, centers around a nameless drifter who learns

45 Years Starring Charlotte Rampling, Tom Courtenay, Geraldine James, Dolly Wells Directed by Andrew Haigh The Story: Longtime married couple Geoff (Tom Courtenay) and Kate (Charlotte Rampling) Mercer are anticipating their 45th anniversary party (since Geoff had heart bypass surgery during their 40th), and six days before the festivities, news arrives from Switzerland that they located Geoff's old flame, Katya, frozen in ice in the Swiss Alps.  Geoff tells Kate that they went hiking fifty years ago when she died, and it was before he met Kate.  Geoff begins acting strangely - keeping from Kate that he's planning on going to Switzerland, becomes moody, despondent, and takes up smoking again, as well as obsessing over Katya's old photos and other memorabilia.   Meanwhile, Kate begins to obsess over Geoff's first love - smelling her perfume, sneaking to the attic to see the memorabilia and pictures (ironically, there's no pictures of Kate and Geoff tog

Money Monster Starring George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Jack O'Connell, Dominic West Directed by Jodie Foster The Story: Lee Gates (George Clooney) is a cable financial host whose eccentric personality and lively graphics turn Wall Street humdrum activities into an exciting show.  Behind the scenes, director Patty Fenn (Julia Roberts) directs his every move, and makes sure all the hectic pieces come together to produce a great show. One day, she notices Kyle Budwell (Jack O'Connell) behind Lee, and before she knows it he comes out holding a gun, and forces Lee to put on a bomb vest.  As she calmly gets most of the crew out, Kyle announces that he's doing this because he lost his savings by investing in bonds Lee said was a safe bet - until one day an algorithm glitched, and the investors lost $800 million dollars overnight.  Kyle holds the company, IBIS Clear Capital, and its CEO Walt Camby (Dominic West) responsible, but West is nowhere to be found. As they f

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Pixar Films Pixar is one of those rare studio companies who produce amazing work time and time again (with some minor exceptions, such as "Cars 2"), and which leaves the viewer better for the experience.  They've revolutionized the way animated childrens' films are done, in which it's not just enjoyable for the 2-year-old, but the 52-year-old as well.  Most parents dread having to play that certain movie their child yells for again and again, but not when it's Pixar.  They have a way to cut to the deep of each viewer, arouse emotions that even the biggest Oscar-bait movie fails to do.  They've re-ignited the imagination in all of us, by sending us everywhere - from Scottish highlands to the depths of the ocean; from our childhood fears to our innermost beings; from the toys we cherished as children to the superheroes we idolize today. "Finding Dory," the long-awaited sequel to the 2003 hit "Finding Nemo,&