Worst2First: Ranking the 134 Films I Saw in 2023

Worst2First:
Ranking the 134 Films I Saw in 2023

I was able to see 134 movies that were released in 2023, and I have to say that this year was a banner year for cinema. There was a lot of fantastic films that I saw, and only a few that I deemed terrible, and those that fell in-between. While I wasn’t able to watch every movie, I ranked all the movies I saw this year in order from #1 to #134. Before I go into detail on my ten worst and ten best of the year, I’ll give a brief mention to all the movies in-between and a sentence or two as to what I thought about them.

So without further adieu, here is my ranking of all 134 movies that I saw in 2023…

First I’ll start with #124 and go to #11…

#124
Retribution
Liam Neeson does what he does best, but he’s done it so often he just exists to garner a paycheck anymore, leaving all his movies feeling similar and watered down.

#123
Ghosted
Is it possible to take two modern day action heroes and make a film that’s undeniably bland and lifeless, devoid of anything resembling action or even romance? For this Ana de Armas and Chris Evans vehicle, the answer is a ho-hum yes.

#122
Kandahar
Speaking of action movies that are devoid of action, “Kandahar” is a highly forgettable, way-too-long slog featuring Gerard Butler that proves that his biggest action spectacles are in his rearview mirror.

#121
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey
What happens when intellectual property goes into the public domain? You get this. What could’ve been a tongue-in-cheek horror comedy about Winnie the Pooh and Pigelt turning into maniacal serial killers ends up a cheap horror knockoff where it’s more like Michael Myers donning a Winnie mask than anything.

#120
Infinity Pool
This film is on several critics’ lists as one of their favorites of the year, and maybe my small mind can’t fathom the greatness of it - but I’m more than okay with being in the dark than trying to watch this boring, lifeless film again.

#119
Theater Camp
Coming from someone who loved the theater as a youth, this faux documentary comedy is anything but funny, at the most eliciting a few chuckles but otherwise I don’t really remember it.

#118
Inside
A film that features Willem Dafoe as the only character who must escape a penthouse that’s slowly heating up could’ve been something spectacular, but Dafoe surprisingly toned down his usually eccentric performance and made it really boring.

#117
Marlowe
Another Liam Neeson spectacle, but this time throwing in classic Hollywood for good measure that makes it only slightly better than some of his other recent work - but only slightly.

#116
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3
Did anyone ask for another outing with this Greek family? No one? Didn’t think so.

#115
Meg 2: The Trench
How do you make something that’s clearly tongue-in-cheek and exciting into something totally dumb, boring, and dull? They…uh…found a way.

#114
Strays
Maybe it’s my distaste for Will Ferrell and his stale brand of comedy, but incorporating said bland comedy and putting them into the voices of dogs didn’t fool me.

#113
Hunt Her Kill Her
The nonsense of the story notwithstanding, the story of a woman who has to fend off numerous masked killers in an abandoned warehouse was all cat and no mouse.

#112
The Flash
Just fast forward to MIchael Keaton’s parts.

#111
The Machine
Come for Mark Hamill. Stay for Mark Hamill. Leave for Mark Hamill.

#110
Hypnotic
Not even hypnosis can make me appreciate this over-the-top, nonsensical futuristic action film starring Ben Affleck.

#109
Peter Pan & Wendy
Taking the magic, wonder, and eternal youth out of the classic story, and you’ve got this colorless, soulless Disney live-action remake.

#108
Magic Mike’s Last Dance
The magic is gone, and hopefully this will be Channing Tatum’s last dance as the titular Magic Mike.

#107
Trolls: Band Together
How much more money can you literally squeeze out of these characters? What’s next, “Trolls: Pitch Perfect?”

#106
The Exorcist: Believer
Darn you David Gordon Green for destroying another beloved horror classic by making it not scary, stupid, and throwing the incomparable Ellen Burstyn in for a glorified cameo.

#105
The Boogeyman
Not even I would be afraid if I saw this Boogeyman in my closet as a kid.

#104
The Nun II
There’s “nun”thing exciting about this Conjuring-adjacent film.

#103
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
RIP DCEU, at least Jason Momoa tried to act like he was having a good time at it.

#102
65
Adam Driver. Futuristic spaceman who crashes in prehistoric Earth. Has to fend off dinosaurs. Sounds better on paper than this boring drivel we witnessed.

#101
Murder Mystery 2
Adam Sandler doing what he does best - or at least trying to do what he does best, but failing rather miserably.

#100
Expend4bles
These guys should’ve been put on life support after their last outing, now they’re just zombies shuffling on the screen.

#99
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
I don’t even know what to say…Ruse de Garry? Rose de Glue? Anyway it’s some Guy Ritchie wannabe directing…wait, Guy Ritchie directed it?

#98
Tetris
The pieces just didn’t fall into place, but my eyelids sure did fall.

#97
80 for Brady
Remember when these titan females of cinema starred in Oscar-worthy films? Well, not anymore.

#96
Book Club: The Next Chapter
See comment for #97

#95
Bird Box: Barcelona
Kudos for taking a risk, but all in all this is just a humdrum continuation of a story no one wanted.

#94
V/H/S/85
There’s no other film franchise as varied as the “V/H/S/” anthology series, and sadly this is one of the worst.

#93
Five Nights at Freddy’s
More a Cold Case episode where a man tries to find his missing brother than spending time with the lovable animatronic killing machines.

#92
Wish
A Disney movie if the writers put the idea into ChatGBT.

#91
Appendage
“Basket Case” did this a whole lot better.

#90
The Marvels
Now we know Carol Danvers is a Disney princess, at least.

#89
Champions
A nice story that’s simple and ordinary.

#88
Ruby GIllman: Teenage Kraken
The animation is lively, the voice actors are alright.

#87
Moving On
Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda have eternal chemistry.

#86
About My Father
Robert De Niro needs to find a better agent.

#85
Cobweb
Something that could’ve been great turned into something totally mediocre.

#84
Insidious: The Red Door
Nice to go back to the original family, if only they made it actually scary.

#83
The Last Voyage of the Demeter
I might’ve been unfair about this one, but after watching it I simply wasn’t impressed - but this is one I might revisit later.

#82
The Mother
Jennifer Lopez returning to her action roots, and the result is a generic Netflix original.

#81
The Haunted Mansion
Danny DeVito was fun, the movie was alright, and a lot better than Eddie Murphy’s outing.

#80
Plane
A “plain” Gerald Butler action film, can’t wait for the sequels “Train” and “Automobile.”

#79
Nowhere
Films relying on one actor needs that actor to be great, and this one was just alright.

#78
The Miracle Club
Laura Linney, Kathy Bates and Maggie Smith deliver decent performances in one of those feel-good films you’ll feel good about a little after it ends then completely forget about it.

#77
Journey to Bethlehem
It’d be better if it was just an album and not a megachurch wannabe Christmas musical.

#76
The Creator
All the pieces were there for something of a sci-fi epic, but none of those pieces ended up fitting perfectly.

#75
Blue Beetle
It was charming enough but in the end wholly unnecessary.

#74
Elemental
Taking all the nonsense aside, this is just another Pixar vehicle about opposites attracting and overcoming obstacles.

#73
Fast X
Fasten your seatbelts for another film in the franchise that defies logic, gravity, reason, and sense - but still focuses on the importance of family.

#72
Shazam! Fury of the Gods
Actually liked this better than the first, at least it had more action to it.

#71
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
M.O.D.O.K. - that it all. Plus having the wannabe next Thanos level threat taken down by ants. All done by vomit-inducing green screen CGI.

#70
Mafia Mamma
Toni Collette can do no wrong, and she’s the saving grace in this generic action comedy.

#69
Gran Turismo
One of the better film adaptations from a video game, at least Nell Blomkamp had some exciting visuals for the races.

#68
Priscilla
Nothing can compare to an Elvis movie after Baz Luhrmann’s film, but Cailee Spaeny gives an amazing performance as Elvis’s longsuffering wife.

#67
Quiz Lady
Awkwafina doing what she does best, and a surprise comedic turn from Sandra Oh makes this an enjoyable enough film about family and overcoming the odds.

#66
A Man Called Otto
The original Swedish film earned an Oscar for Best International Feature - and I doubt even Tom Hanks will garner any nominations here.

#65
Malum
A director’s remake of his original film actually resulted in a better outing with more blood, gore, and dark violence.

#64
Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant
When you have to include your name in the title, it only shows desperation - but still it was surprisingly decent.

#63
It Lives Inside
A decent horror that centers on an oft-forgotten Indian demonic mythology with a capable young lead.

#62
Leave the World Behind
It could’ve been a lot better if there was more story involved and didn’t run itself around in circles.

#61
Sound of Freedom
The first half is great, shedding light on child sex trafficking, but the last half delves into too much of a “Rambo” style action for my liking.

#60
The Blackening
A hilarious skewering look at the classic horror trope with witty dialogue and a cast of hilarious actors.

#59
Sisu
This John Wick-style action spectacle is short on runtime but long on intense action sequences and a cold, unspeaking hero that kicks Nazi butt.

#58
Knock at the Cabin
Dave Bautista gives his best performance in this Shyamalan vehicle that’s surprisingly devoid of exciting fun twists.

#57
ME3AN
We got a new doll to terrorize our nightmares - and who’s dance moves we wish to imitate.

#56
Saw X
Returning to its roots after the recent outings went off the rails, Tobin Bell and Shawnee Smith were more than welcome to return and gave the best film since the second.

#55
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
At least Harrison Ford’s de-aging wasn’t as scary as it could’ve been, and he proves he still has what it takes to deliver the action.

#54
The Little Mermaid
A lot was said about Halle Bailey’s casting, but she more than pulled off an Ariel for a new generation.

#53
Renfield
Nicolas Cage as Dracula is the stuff of dreams, and while not perfect it did deliver the laughs required.

#52
Napoleon
Ridley Scott’s epic is heightened by Joaquin Phoenix’s committed performance, but otherwise it falls into generic biopic story.

#51
Rustin
Colman Domingo is rightfully earning praise for playing the Civil Rights leader, but again it falls into the generic biopic formula.

#50
Silent Night
John Woo proves he still has what it takes to deliver an action film, even though it feels like something that came from the 90s that was a bit polished for 2023.

#49
The Pope’s Exorcist
Russell Crowe as a kickass exorcist with witty sarcasm and a Vespa to die for? Yes please!

#48
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah
An Adam Sandler vehicle that’s actually good? Well, it’s moreso due to his daughter’s performance than anything in this sweet coming-of-age dramedy.

#47
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
I had wrongfully pegged this as one of the worst films I’ll see in 2023 after seeing the trailer, but I was delightfully wrong as it had a charm all its own.

#46
Jesus Revolution
Although glossing over more of the real life story, the film still managed to give me hope that humanity has some sort of decency left.

#45
The Equalizer 3
Denzel Washington’s only trilogy series ends on a high note, even if it’s a bit predictable.

#44
Extraction 2
Chris Hemsworth proves again his action prowess in this exciting Netflix original featuring one of the best one-takes in modern action cinema.

#43
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
Thankfully Michael Bay has no more influence and the result is another “Transformers” film closer to my childhood memories.

#42
Missing
This sister sequel to “Searching” uses the same gimmick but makes it work.

#41
A Haunting in Venice
Hercule Poirot meets horror in this gothic thriller set against a possible haunted house and another stacked cast with Kenneth Branagh dominating in front of and behind the camera.

#40
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
As a TMNT purist (I grew up in the 80s after all), I was wary of how the new animation and the new story would pan out, but I was wonderfully impressed by the outcome.

#39
Rye Lane
The romantic comedy subgenre is beginning to grow stale, but this proves that there’s still life to it.

#38
Joy Ride
Asian representation in full force, this comedy is filled with laugh-out-loud moments and a heartfelt message at its core.

#37
No Hard Feelings
Jennifer Lawrence proves she can go from Oscar-bait films to raunchy comedies and do both flawlessly.

#36
Totally Killer
Mix in one cup of “Back to the Future” with two teaspoons of “Happy Death Day” and sprinkle in some “Groundhog Day” and you get this hilarious horror movie about a girl’s search for her mother’s would-be killer.

#35
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
Taking a gamble on a franchise thought long dead, the result is a prequel that is the third best in the franchise.

#34
No One Will Save You
A home invasion movie with a twist, where the invaders are aliens and the homeowner is an isolate woman who utters about ten words throughout the entirety of the film. It could’ve been disastrous but thanks to Kaitlyn Dever it became something creepy and unnerving.

#33
Wonka
Timothee Chalamet dons Gene Wilder’s shoes in this prequel about how the beloved (and equally terrifying) chocolatier become Wonka.

#32
Thanksgiving
Eli Roth’s return to classic slasher gives us a new horror icon in John Carver and a witty, smart script with Roth’s classic kills.

#31
Talk to Me
While the ending was kind of out of left field for me, this modern version of the Monkey’s Paw is smart, edgy, tense, and filled with tremendous performances from a cast of young up-and-coming actors.

#30
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
A lot was said about Chris Pratt voicing Mario, but I was so into the movie I didn’t even recognize it, as it does a great job at bringing back the nostalgic feels of playing the classic games.

#29
Skinamarink
You’ll either love it or hate it, but after seeing this film it resonated with me for months following, focusing on childhood fears told through practically impossible to view static shots that amp up the anticipated thrills - and was one of the few films that actually made me jump.

#28
Creed III
Michael B. Jordan’s directorial debut is a welcomed one, as this serves as another great addition to the “Rocky/Creed” franchise.

#27
Evil Dead Rise
Taking the beloved franchise from the cabin in the woods to a high-rise apartment complex was risky, but even though Sam Raimi didn’t direct it you sensed his involvement throughout as once again we get a fantastic “Evil Dead” film with literal gallons of blood and two fascinating performances.

#26
Scream VI
The joke is that New York City is the place horror movies go to die, but “Scream VI” broke the mold. More intense, more gruesome kills, and the return of the “core four” from the last film makes this another exciting, terrifying addition to the franchise.

#25
The Killer
Michael Fassbender plays a lone assassin out for revenge and the result is a decent action film not without its flaws, but thanks to Fassbender’s performance those could be overlooked.

#24
Saltburn
I would’ve ranked this higher if not for the hype around it, as I was expecting something truly unnerving but got a decent story with great performances instead.

#23
Cocaine Bear
The premise was so silly and I ended up seeing this movie six times and laughing my butt off every time - something rare for me. Was it perfect? No, but it was something I didn’t mind seeing over and over.

#22
Air
Coming from someone who has no knowledge of Michael Jordan, Air Jordans, or Nike in general, I found this biopic story of how Air Jordans came to be fascinating, with numerous Awards-worthy performances.

#21
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One
Tom Cruise pulls off his most insane stunt yet in a film that proves the “Mission: Impossible” franchise hasn’t lost its ability to excite and entertain.

#20
May December
Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore prove why they’re Oscar winners in this tense film ripped from the headlines, and also features Charles Melton as a future star to look out for.

#19
Maestro
Bradley Cooper proves himself an excellent director again as he tells the story of Leonard Bernstein in a way that breaks the mold of your generic biopic story.

#18
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
A proper sendoff for our beloved group of intergalactic heroes with action, humor, and more than a few tears being shed in the process.

#17
Past Lives
Celine Song’s film tackles the idea of fate, destiny, and the “what ifs” of relationships in a profound way with tremendous performances.

#16
The Iron Claw
Zac Efron gives his best performance to date as the oldest brother of a family of wrestlers facing numerous trials outside the ring.

#15
Anatomy of a Fall
This procedural drama centers on a woman accused of killing her husband, and is filled with great performances and a tight, well-written script.

#14
Dream Scenario
Nicolas Cage plays a man who invades the dreams of everyone in the world, and serves as a skewering look at fame and how fast people will turn on those they once idolized.

#13
Women Talking
Although released in 2022, it got a national release in 2023 so I’m including it here. The film about a group of Mennonite women coming together to discuss their shared trauma is heartwrenching and powerful, and it’s no surprise it won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.

#12
John Wick: Chapter 4
Keanu Reeves proves he still has it in this fourth outing that is more emotional, more personal, and more intense than his previous two outings. Plus the Dragon’s Breath scene is something that can never be duplicated as well as it was here.

#11
Asteroid City
While not Wes Anderson’s best, this is still a Wes Anderson vehicle through and through, filled with amazing performances, witty, quick-paced dialogue, centralized camerawork and eye-popping colors.



And now we get to the ten worst and the ten best films of 2023…

I’ll start with the ten worst…

#10
The Devil Conspiracy
So a group of cultists steal the Shroud of Torin in hopes of extracting the DNA of Jesus and using that DNA to bring Satan back to the world to take it over. Or something like that. They need to impregnate a woman like how God impregnated Mary to give birth to Christ, but in this case she’ll give birth to Satan instead. Makes total sense, right? Yeah, didn’t think so. Mix this insanely stupid story in with shoddy, terrible CGI and even worse acting, and you’ve got one of the ten worst films of the year.

#9
The Shift
Speaking of religious based films, how about one where the multiverse is used to give Satan a foothold in every universe by convincing one man to be his right hand? That’s the basic concept of “The Shift,” in which Satan (known here as The Benefactor) enlists one man in every universe to do his bidding - but one man refuses. The Benefactor then “shifts” his wife away, leading the man to go on a multiversal search to find her. This modern-day telling of Job is filled with plot holes big enough to drive whole universes through, and acting so stinted you’d think they were first timers. I don’t think Christians believe in the multiverse, and “The Shift” does the multiversal story so bad it makes the MCU seem logical by comparison.

#8
His Only Son
Seriously, I’m not attacking religious based films, but when they’re some of the worst, well, they’re some of the worst. Before the film started the director made a plea for audiences to judge the film based on the story and not the effects or performances, which was already a bad sign. Things only got worse from there, as the film that centers on one of the Bible’s most intriguing stories - how God commanded Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac - somehow became a snoozefest of minutes of meandering through deserts and repetitious dialogue and flashbacks. Bad acting, a waste of a perfectly good Bible story, and a boring plot makes for a less than stellar movie, to say the least.

#7
Trinet Box
Ripping off better films like “Get Out” and the “Evil Dead” franchise, “Trinket Box” is a not-so-scary scary movie about an interracial couple who moves into a home that was once the spot of a horrible racist attack. Their elderly white neighbor gives the wife a trinket box with a necklace inside, and the necklace starts affecting her mind, giving her the notion to kill her African American husband. Lacking any artistic qualities, performances, or subtle nuanced callbacks to society as a whole, “Trinket Box” is better left in the box, and buried somewhere far, far away.

#6
Knights of the Zodiac
Based off a manga in 1986, “Knights of the Zodiac” follows a young man as he learns he harbors magical powers that can make him a fabled knight of the Zodiac to protect the reincarnated goddess Athena from a group of people who want to use her for evil. Or something like that. I never read the manga it’s based off of, but can only assume it’s leaps and bounds better than this terribly CGId quasi-action film that proves once again that Sean Bean will do anything anyone gives him.

#5
White Men Can’t Jump
The original “White Men Can’t Jump” isn’t Oscar-worthy by any means, but when you gather the combined talents of Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson and Rosie Perez, you’ll get something that’s entertaining at least, and surprisingly the film has held up well in the decades since its release. Not so much with this remake, starring rapper Jack Harlow, Sinqua Walls and Teyana Taylor, centering on two men who hustle others in the game of basketball. There’s no chemistry in the cast, the story is as stale as they come, and there’s absolutely nothing worth of note to say about this, other than the fact that it proves remakes shouldn’t exist.

#4
God is a Bullet
I don’t know what it was about movies in 2023, but it seemed most of them had to be at least two and a half hours. “God is a Bullet” is one such film, dragging along at 156 minutes, and testing the patience of anyone watching it. Thankfully when I saw it I was the only one in the theater and found myself being entertained by other things, otherwise I might’ve walked out. The story centers on a man searching for his daughter who’s been kidnapped by a gang of cultists with the help of a former cult member who broke free from their grasp. Fifty minutes could’ve been cut from this film and it might’ve been passable, but since we got this, it ends up near the bottom of the worst of the year due to a story that’s entirely convoluted (seriously, there was a moment around halfway where the man could’ve gotten his daughter, but he chose to leave for some reason), action that’s barely subpar, and actors who seemed to want to be anywhere but there.

#3
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines
Rarely is there a film that I forget about as I’m watching it, but that’s what happened with “Pet Sematary: Bloodlines.” I was so bored I forgot what was happening, my eyes glossing over in boredom and despair. I love the original Stephen King adaptation and even enjoyed the films, but this one - serving as a prequel centering on a young Jed Crandall - was nothing short of a trainwreck that’s not even fun to look at. People get infected by rabid probably undead animals and there’s a friend who’s already undead but we don’t see how it happens, and this keeps Jed in town with his friends as they try to stop the evil, yadda yadda yadda. To paraphrase the original, “when it comes to ideas for prequels, sometimes dead is better.”

#2
Paint
You’d be forgiven if you saw the trailer for “Paint” and thought it was a Bob Ross biopic. Sadly, that’s not the case, for it seems that maybe the family of Ross saw what they wanted to do to his legacy and forbade them from ever going forward with the project, but since they already had the wig, had to make something up on the fly. Owen Wilson plays the Make-a-Wish Bob Ross as he serves as a small town painter who gained popularity on a small access channel, but finds his popularity in danger when a younger, better artist begins taking his place. In what was billed as a comedy, there’s nothing to laugh about, and if it was billed as a drama, there’s nothing dramatic about it either. Essentially it’s a white canvas at the beginning, as well as the end.

And now for my worst movie I saw in 2023…

#1
The Drop
Never heard of it? Don’t worry, no one else did either - and that’s a good thing. Essentially a group of friends gather for a wedding, and one woman lets another hold their infant child. When the woman holding the child swats at a bee, she accidentally drops the baby. The baby is perfectly fine, but everyone loses their ever loving minds about it, and it serves as a catalyst of sorts that threatens to destroy their never-there friendship. It’s supposed to be a comedy, but I couldn’t even muster a pity laugh. This was a film that, immediately after it ended, I watched something else right away because if I was to die, I wouldn’t want the last film I saw on Earth to be “The Drop.”

So since we got the ten worst films out of the way, it’s time to reveal my top ten best films of 2023…

#10
Barbie
I remember hearing about this “Barbie” movie a year or so ago, and thought to myself this is the stupidest decision ever made. Who would want to watch a movie about Hasbro’s biggest cash cow? Then I heard Amy Schumer was set to play the titular Barbie, and my expectations were diminished even more. But then a glimmer of hope came when she dropped out and Margot Robbie took the role, and alongside Ryan Gosling as Ken, I had some optimism. Then the reviews started coming in, calling it one of the best and even possibly giving it some Oscar nods, and my curiosity was piqued. It was only heightened with its ingenious marketing campaign by pitting it alongside “Oppenheimer” for the ultimate double feature - “Barbenheimer.” So I went from someone doubting it’d be any good to thinking it could be good to thinking it could be great to finally seeing it with my own eyes - and it far exceeded even thinking it could be great. Greta Gerwig is a masterclass director and she managed to craft a film that not only focuses on Barbie, but her history and how women were - and still are - marginalized in many situations. America Ferrera’s speech alone is Oscar-worthy, and this thoughtful story is wrapped in colorful hues that is a pure joy for the young and old alike.

#9
Oppenheimer
The other half of “Barbenheimer” is Christopher Nolan’s expertly-directed biopic “Oppenheimer.” Centering on J. Robert Oppenhiemer and his creation of the Atom Bomb, “Oppenheimer” steers clear of the biopic curse and crafts a three-hour epic that doesn’t feel that long due to the story, the performances, and the impact it had. Cillian Murphy nails it as Oppenhiemer, while Robert Downey Jr. proves he has nothing to fear after shedding Iron Man as Oppenheimer’s greatest opponent. The cinematography is sweeping, the Atomic Bomb test is in itself one of the most spectacular moments in film history of the year, and the A-list talent give it their all, resulting in a film that far exceeds expectations and serves as one of Nolan’s best in his stellar career.

#8
When Evil Lurks
Ever since “The Exorcist,” every exorcist-style movie has failed to live up to expectations. This Argentinian film takes the exorcist theme and turns it on its head in the most wonderfully depressing way. In this film, people who are demon possessed have to adhere a certain set of rules in order to get the demon out of them, but two impulsive brothers forego all advice and try to do things on their own - leading to demonic possession of biblical proportions. Bleak, depressing, hopeless, and a stunner of an ending makes not for an easy watch, but does make for an intriguing one. You’ll never forget this film after watching it, and we finally have something we can compare “The Exorcist” to.

#7
Beau is Afraid
Ari Aster is a genius in directing, delivering two of the most terrifying films in recent memory: “Hereditary” and “Midsommar.” With “Beau is Afraid,” he maintains a horrifying presence but mixes in dark comedy and the reverse hero’s journey to more than make up for its three hour runtime. Joaquin Phoenix stars as a paranoid man who’s trying to visit his mother, but along the way runs into struggles that he constantly fails. It’s hilarious in a dark manner, and with Joaquin Phoenix, you got a character that’s deeply flawed but multi-layered, a man that you might not necessarily want to root for, but one you can’t get out of your head by the end of it.

#6
The Color Purple
Based more off the Broadway musical and original novel than the 1986 Steven Spielberg-directed film, “The Color Purple” is a wonderful blend of music, performance, and story that melts together wonderfully. The film followers Celie, a young woman trapped in a violent marriage and who pines for her long lost sister that she thinks is dead. Fantasia Barrino reprises her Broadway role as Celie and proves she’s got what it takes to get that Oscar gold, giving an unforgettable performance alongside epic side characters who each have their own flushed out story. It’s a resounding voice for the marginalized, a demonstration of the resilience and perseverance of the human spirit, and showcases the tight bonds of Black sisterhood that goes beyond blood. It’s as uplifting as they come, and will cause your spirit to soar by the end.

#5
Godzilla Minus One
While many people thought this was a continuation of the American version of Godzilla, it’s actually a Japanese film that holds truer to Godzilla’s original origins: not as some sort of antihero, but a god-like being bent on destruction. Set closely after the end of World War II, “Godzilla Minus One” focuses on a kamikaze pilot who chickens out and lives his life in shame, thinking he’s really dead and stuck in some sort of hell for his desertion. When Godzilla arrives, he finds an inner strength to fight back alongside a group of ordinary citizens to save their homeland which has already been ravaged by war. It’s a hero’s journey of epic proportions, and never before has Godzilla appeared as menacing and terrifying.

#4
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
2018’s “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” was a huge success and earned the Oscar for Best Animated Film, and somehow 2023’s sequel has far exceeded the predecessor in every way. The animation is something unseen before on film (in fact over 1,000 animators took part in crafting the film), the story of a multiverse actually makes sense, and the performances are deeply emotional and powerful. Miles Morales learns of a secret society of Spider-People bent on keeping balance in the multiverse, and when he comes across the villain Spot who threatens this balance, desires to be a part of the team. But the founder - Oscar Isaac’s Spider-Man 2099, doesn’t want this to happen, leading Miles on a quest of his own to find out where he fits into this new multiversal world. Action packed, filled with the best animation ever put to screen, and a deeply personal story equal one of the best animated films not just of 2023, but in the whole of cinema itself.

#3
Poor Things
Director Yorgos Lanthimos loves studying the human condition, and none of his films does this as expertly as “Poor Things.” A unique spin on the “Frankenstein” story, Emma Stone stars as a woman brought back from the dead by a scientist who’s mind is that of a child. As time progresses, however, she begins to learn things and discover there’s a whole world out there worth exploring, while learning that the true power comes from within. Stone gives her most powerful performance to date, carefully walking the tightrope balance of having her character learn and adapt. Mark Ruffalo plays a character you’ve never seen him play before, and Willem Dafoe rests comfortably in his wheelhouse as another eccentric character. Filled with lush cinematography, one-of-a-kind production designs, and compelling and layered performances, you won’t feel poor at all after watching “Poor Things,” but you’ll feel like you’ve just witnessed something great.

#2
Killers of the Flower Moon
Martin Scorsese really can do no wrong, and proof of this is a three and a half hour epic about the true story of the Osage slaughter that took place in the 1920s. Not many people know the story, but essentially the Osage tribe came across a wealth of oil from their land, and wealthy white men infiltrated and married their women in hopes of getting the wealth for themselves - resorting to murder to get it. Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro dominate the screen as an uncle and nephew who infiltrate the Osage people to get the wealth for themselves, and both give Awards-worthy performances. Yet it’s Lily Gladstone’s role as Mollie Kyle that eclipses these Oscar-worthy performers and raises the bar to impossible levels. Thought provoking, powerful, and unforgettable, you won’t regret the time spent watching “Killers of the Flower Moon,” and you’ll probably want to watch it again.

This all brings me to my number one film of 2023. Out of 134 films, this one is the one I feel was the best of the year.

And that film is…

#1
The Holdovers
Alexander Payne proves himself a highly capable director in this throwback to classic 70s cinema, right down to the filming grain style and aesthetics (in fact although it has the look, it was filmed digitally and the celluloid film grain, halation, and gate weave were added in post-production). The film takes place around Christmas in 1970 at a prestigious high school where most of the students go home for winter break. Those left behind were stuck at the school under the watchful eye of the most hated teacher, Paul Giamatti’s Paul Hunham, a no-nonsense professor who’s as strict as they come. One of the students is Agnus Tully, a rebellious youth with a rough upbringing who is the thorn in Hunham’s side. Joining them is cafeteria administrator Mary Lamb, who’s still grieving the loss of her only son in the Vietnam War. Together the three of them form a bond that deeply connects them as they embark on their own adventures of self-discovery, facing the demons of your past, and striving to be better in the future. What sets this apart from other films like this is that Payne doesn’t pander to their plight, but makes them feel wholly natural. There’s no cliches, no over-the-top performances, and everything feels natural and real. To add to that realism, Payne shot the film in actual schools and locations as opposed to creating soundstages or using CGI, and was even gifted with a real blizzard to add to the aesthetics. Giamatti’s performance is filled with the complexity you’d expect from the seasoned pro, as we chip away at Paul Hunham’s tough exterior to find out why he’s really the way he is. Giamatti is already a veteran actor, but the other two performers are pure revelations. Da’Vine Joy Randolph has starred in a few films but is best known as Sandra Bullock’s no-nonsense friend in “The Lost City,” but here she excels as Mary Lamb - so much so that she’s not just a shoe-in for an Academy Award nomination, but the one to beat as well. She plays Mary with this melancholy that goes beyond shrieking cries of pain but rather keeps it internal for the most part, making it all the more realistic, and all the more authentic. You’d wonder where you heard Dominic Sessa’s name before, and you’d be shocked to find that this is his first major film role. As the troublemaker Angus Tully, Sessa could’ve easily fallen into the one-note feel you’d expect from a character like that, but he - like Giamatti’s Hunham - has layers of walls that are peeled away throughout the film so much so that, by the end, your heart will go out to him, as well as his other two companions. These characters have had a special place in my heart since watching the film, and they’ll hold a special place in yours as well.

So there you have it, my definitive ranking of all 134 movies I saw that were released in 2023. Here’s to another amazing year at the movies and on streaming!