After Everything

After Everything
Starring Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Josephine Langford, Mimi Keene, Louise Lombard
Directed by Castille Landon

2019 was a different time. Before a never-ending string of movies that slowly chipped away at my very soul year after year. Before a series of films so awful and unwatchable they end up on my "worst of" lists every year. Before there was a slight break due to one being in limited release not nearby before being put on Netflix in 2024, thereby using my metric making it a 2024 film that'll of course land on the "worst of" list at the end of the year. Before I thankfully watched these soul-crushing movies with trusted friends who also made fun of it as much as I. But in 2019 came "After," and now everything in life occurs after. After "After" there's a deadly worldwide disease. After "After" there was the biggest strike in Hollywood history. After "After" we endured the hottest year on record. I'm not saying they're connected, but I'm not not saying it either.

After their most recent fight because he wrote a successful book without her permission, Hardin Scott (Hero Fiennes Tiffin) wants to make amends to Tessa Young (Josephine Langford) because he can't see his life with anyone else, but she's seemingly moved on. To make up for previous sins he travels to Portugal where he meets his former girlfriend Natalie (Mimi Keene), whom he did to her what he eventually did to Tessa that proved him to be the biggest scum in the world. Yet even his attempts to make amends lands on deaf ears as he continually deals with his inner demons in the most unhealthy ways possible, before finally hitting rock bottom and actually seemingly changes for the better - but is it too little, too late?


The Good:
The "After" series is truly horrible in every sense of the word. It's written by a oversexed middle-aged woman who has an unhealthy infatuation with Harry Styles and the films are no better, with stinted dialogue, repetitive moments and two actors who put the term "actor" to shame. So why is this one only slightly better than the others? (That's not a ringing endorsement, it's like comparing this film to a pile of turds you find on gravel as opposed to finding it knee-deep in mud). The answer is something so ingenious and revolutionary it should be the norm for films like this: by literally taking out half the equation.

That equation is Josephine Langford's Tessa, who was the unhealthy obsession of Hardin since the first film when he made a bet with friends that he could seduce her, and then actually falling in love with her, and throughout the subsequent hundred or so films (at least it felt that way) went from them loving each other to fighting to loving to fighting to loving - you know, the perfect toxic relationship. Yet for this film Langford had other obligations and couldn't appear in the film, having contractually obligated to the films she signed up for. So she's not in this film until the final fifteen minutes, and if it feels disjointed from the story there's a good reason.

That's because these moments were filmed for the previous movie, but were cut for time. So essentially the final fifteen minutes of "After Everything" are the last fifteen minutes of the film before it, and tonally it shifts in insurmountable ways (there's also the real ending where the actress is clearly someone different wearing a wig).

So how does this make it better? Because it's not another ninety minutes of a toxic relationship brought to the screen where Hardin and Tessa make love, fight, make love, fight, make love, fight, and so on. Instead it's Hardin coming to terms with his many, many, many, many, many, many...many...flaws and attempting to make himself better. Of course this falls flat but at least he tries, and it's not a repetitive cycle of emotional and mental abuse.

The majority of the film takes place in Portugal (or wherever they actually filmed it), and the scenery is absolutely breathtaking.

Mimi Keene emerges as one of the better actresses in the entire series as Natalie, Hardin's first ex. She was decent. That's the most glowing recommendation of any actor in this franchise.

Hopefully, unlike films like "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter," this will live up to its title and be the end of it all. For the sake of all that's good and right in the world please let this be it.


The Bad:
The entire "After" series is terrible in its theme, where a man who commits arson and numerous sex crimes (such as committing revenge porn by videotaping him and Natalie having sex and then his friend broadcasting it online) can become a wealthy author and someone whom everyone seems to love despite not being anyone worthy of it. Hero Fiennes Tiffin might be related to the great brother duo of Ralph and Joseph, but the acting talent wasn't passed down. He only knows one emotion and that's brooding crybaby, as he constantly has a resting constipation face as he goes about drinking himself stupid, getting into fights, and whining about losing Tessa because he literally has done nothing positive for her ever. Yet somehow he's the...hero...of this series and is shown to be a misunderstood bad boy or something like that that requires our forgiveness and love despite him not warranting it at all.

What's worse is that when he goes to make amends to Natalie for what he did, she immediately not just forgives him but wants to get with him again, even though he literally destroyed her life when she was younger. I doubt anyone who endured such unspeakable events could so simply forgive her literal abuser like that, except he's attractive and she falls for his slimy charm.


The Summary:
Hoping this truly is the end of everything, "After Everything" is only slightly elevated from its predecessors by the thankful absence of one of its main stars that also results in a highly disjointed ending that fully encapsulates the disjointed franchise.


The Score: D-