Champions

 

Champions

Starring Woody Harrelson, Kaitlin Olson, Ernie Hudson, Cheech Marin

Directed by Bobby Farrelly

The urban dictionary defines a basic white girl as "a girl who thinks she's so different from the others, but conforms to all of the popular trends" including "Starbucks, Chipotle, Instagram, selfies, and Snapchat." The cinematic equivalent of a basic white girl - in terms of sports films - could be defined as such: "a down-and-out minor leaguer who's so self absorbed they think the world revolves around them gets into legal trouble and must coach an [inner city, disabled, or overall untalented but with a lot of heart] team. At first they're totally against it and is only doing it to fulfill their penalty, but as time progresses they form deep connections with the players and teach them to play as a cohesive unit so well they advance to the [state, national] finals, but also along the way he receives good news for himself that threatens to dissolve the team, but after deep introspection they find out that their heart has changed and they stay in their menial job and gives up on their previous ambition." Tell me if you've heard this premise before. "Champions" is one such film, one that's so vanilla that it'll be easily lost in the grand landscape of better films that followed the same basic formula - it's not bad per-se, but entirely unoriginal.

After getting into a physical confrontation with the head coach of a G-league basketball team, Marcus (Woody Harrelson) is fired and resorts to drunk driving, where he hits a parked police car. Instead of facing a jail term, he takes a deal: spend ninety days coaching a team of disabled adults. Marcus is dead-set against the idea, but it's better than prison, so he reluctantly agrees to do so. At first he detests the job, just counting down the days until he can leave and pursue his dream of coaching in the NBA, but as time progresses and he works with the team, he grows an appreciation, fondness, and even care for them - so when the big leagues come calling as he's taking the team to the National Championships, he must decide whether to abandon his team for his dream, or realize what's really important in life.

"Champions" is a completely basic film that adheres to the formula so well that it doesn't offer anything in the way of suspense, excitement, or shocks. There's no Shyamalan-style twist. There's no Guy Ritchie-style camera movements. There's no philosophical Arononfsky script. It's as basic as it gets, and it's not a spoiler to know how it all works out, because it's got no other way to go. It's the feel-good film that'll have your heart warm until you step out of the theater and wonder what happened to the last two hours of your life.

Again, that's not saying it's a bad film, it's just basic. The story is heartwarming, it hits every emotional note not with a rousing crescendo but with a steady andante - it walks its way with you, holding your hand the entire way, and sends you off with a packed lunch and some mittens. You smile, you laugh, you might even tear up in moments, but at the end of the day it's everything it promises to deliver, but just on a basic level. It's the cinematic equivalent of a C+ paper. Just enough to not fail, but not enough to be praiseworthy.

Woody Harrelson is the glue that holds the film together, and he does so with...a sort of shrug, as opposed to a commanding charge. He, like everyone involved, goes through the motions of this formulaic sports film with ease and simplicity, in the hopes of using his charm to hide the fact that even high school drama geeks could perform well in a film like this. Again, not knocking it, just saying it's incredibly simple, safe, and secure. The main reason to see the film is its stellar cast of disabled actors who truly give touching, powerful performances. They're the heart and soul of the production, and not enough time is given to them as opposed to Harrelson and the others.

Though it's basic and simple, "Champions" does fill the void of a feel-good film that the entire family can enjoy (for the most part, aside from a forced love story between Harrelson's Marcus and Kaitlin Olson's Alex, the sister of one of the disabled players) together. It's not one that will be thought of fondly years (or even days) from now, but it still checks all the boxes to make your heart happy for the two hours it's on the screen, making it feel like a ninety-minute tale rather than dragging on. It shines a light on the disabled and how they can contribute to society and be a family unit, and proves that our only limitations are the ones we set in our own minds. It's basic, but beautiful.

The Score: C+