Deep Water
Back in the late 80s and early 90s the erotic romantic thrillers were all the rage in cinemas, brought about - I'm just spitballing here - by those romance novels with Fabio on the cover, where bored domesticated housewives wished they could be and do more than they're doing in their real lives. Films like "Fatal Attraction," "9 1/2 Weeks" and "Indecent Proposal" were worldwide hits, and besides all of them centering around this very specific subgenre, the other thing they all have in common is their director: Adrian Lyne. He continued his work finishing with 2002's "Unfaithful," and went into retirement: until now, where he dusts off the director's chair to bring back the erotic romantic thriller subgenre for a whole new generation with "Deep Water" - a film that lives up to its title, because if this is the beginning of the erotic romantic thriller subgenre, it indeed is in deep water.
Vic (Ben Affleck) and his wife Melinda (Ana de Armas) Van Allen are in a loveless marriage, but they stay together supposedly for their young daughter Trixie (Grace Jenkins). They have an agreement - Melinda will stay married to Vic as long as he allows her to have affairs with other men, and supposedly make them as public as possible. As they attend wealthy parties thrown by their friends, Melinda openly flirts with any guys there, visibly angering Vic but he acts like it's no big deal - he even teases one of Melinda's new beaus that he murdered her old beau: a joke that draws the attention of writer Don Wilson (Tracy Letts), who thinks there might be some truth to it. As Melinda's suitors go missing, it seems more and more likely that Vic's joke was no laughing matter, but is Melinda in danger - or a part of it as well?
Just a humorous aside: while watching this film I was reminded of an "American Dad" episode where Stan's mother starts dating again, but all her boyfriends go missing after the first date. Francine and Roger think Stan's mother is killing them, but when they investigate they find that Stan's been kidnapping them and sending them to an isolated island because no other man could love her like he can. Replace "mother" with "wife," and you've pretty much got the synopsis for this film.
When you have the director of some of the steamiest smut films of the 80s and a film based off a novel who's author is also known for the likes of The Talented Mr. Ripley and Strangers on a Train, you'd expect it to be at least a bit...fiery? Yet not even the Firestarter herself could ignite any flames in this watered-down, barely-R rated thriller, a film that relies solely on repetitive moments that cycle like the spokes on a bicycle, filled with bland performances set against an even blander backdrop of a story that's so inherently stupid it shouldn't qualify for a story at all.
Basically the film centers around a narcissist and a sociopath, a marriage that I could never have seen being built out of any love whatsoever, and I'd be more inclined to see how they actually got married in the first place - that'd be the real story. As it is with this film, they're already in a rut, not wanting divorce, and allowing the wife to sleep around at will, with seemingly no repercussions for herself. Vic is clearly the narcissist - the man who thinks he's always two steps ahead of everyone else, who has a backup plan when his backup plan fails, and considers himself the smartest one in the room: despite the fact that every room he's in he's brooding like a depressed Batman watching his wife flirt with the next young thing. Melinda is the sociopath - she doesn't care about anyone but herself, openly flaunts her affairs for all her friends (and Vic in particular) to see, and even when she seriously thinks Vic is murdering her beaus, she sticks with him because, as she said herself, "you're not going to kill me, you kill for me."
Why Vic does kill for her (if indeed that's what's happening) I have no answer for, as he's clearly miserable from beginning to end, stuck in this rut that he doesn't want to pull out of reasons unknown. He doesn't need Melinda around, and their child is a rather insufferable little thing who enjoys playing "Old MacDonald" on repeat, so I have no clue as to his motives. They're never explained, and instead the film goes from the same beat to the next: quiet awkward moments between the couple, some lavish party where Melinda hooks up with someone else so Vic can see, quiet awkward moments between the couple, some lavish party where Melinda hooks up with someone else so Vic can see, quiet awkward moments between the couple, some lavish party where Melinda hooks up with someone else so Vic can see...it's like a never-ending loop of mediocrity.
Ben Affleck channels his "Gone Girl" character here, as Vic is pretty much the same character as the other - brooding, dark, mysterious, and always angry. Ana de Armas (also known as the last woman that Affleck dated before Bennifer got back together) can't even channel her usual charm for the role of Melinda, painting her solely as a hoe who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Obviously the writer wanted this couple to appear totally unappealing, and on that end they pulled it off perfectly.
The rest of the story, however, they did not. There's some side stories that never come to fruition, most notably with Tracy Letts' Don Wilson. He exists in this world to solely pin Melinda's men's disappearances on Vic, and again - reasons unknown. He has no actual proof of anything, but is more determined than most to reveal a truth that could just be in his mind. This all culminates in an unintentionally humorous moment (unintentional because there was some tense music associated with it, which only made it more funny) where the movie turns into a PSA for texting and driving that really sends the film off the rails in a weird trajectory that proves the overall disjointedness of the product.
The Score: D-
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