Worst2First: My Top Summer Films 2017
Worst2First:
My Top Summer Films 2017
Here are my top summer movies of 2017, worst2first...
**THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS!
Also, if you don't see a summer movie on the list, I didn't see it, so I can't judge if it's good or bad - although with films like "Valerian," I could assume where that would fall...
Also, if you don't see a summer movie on the list, I didn't see it, so I can't judge if it's good or bad - although with films like "Valerian," I could assume where that would fall...
#27
Wish Upon
A film about a girl who finds a Chinese wishing...thing...gives her seven wishes before it takes her soul. It took my soul five minutes into this debacle. I wish I never saw it, or at least I wish I could meet whatever idiots who thought this would be a great idea.
#26
The Dark Tower
For years Stephen King fans have been dying to see his epic novel series "The Dark Tower" done well on the big screen. Well, it was on the big screen, but it wasn't done well.
#25
Baywatch
For obvious reasons, this was a huge dud at the box office and wasn't funny in the least.
#24
47 Meters Down
Trying to capitalize from the surprise hit "The Shallows" last summer, they once again tried to return to the ocean with a tale of excitement as two girls face a lot of sharks. Unfortunately, it wasn't exciting nor was it even slightly entertaining.
#23
Snatched
Amy Schumer is just not funny. And Goldie Hawn needs to go back to the retirement home they dragged her out from.
#22
The Mummy
Universal started their monster movie universe off with the worst foot possible, casting Tom Cruise as a man in search of the Mummy. Cruise's casting was the biggest mistake, but there's more to it than that - it wasn't memorable at all, save for Russell Crowe's delicious take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Sofia Boutella's take on the Mummy.
#21
All Eyez On Me
I was hoping for another biographical story like "Straight Outta Compton," but instead I got a Wikipedia version of the life of one of music's post prolific artists.
#20
Rough Night
It was rough for Scarlett Johansson, as her female-led raunchy comedy failed to make any box office dough, as well as failed to deliver the laughs it was said to bring. I don't really remember much about it, except the silence in the theater.
#19
Transformers: The Last Knight
As the title entails, let's hope this is the last of the franchise. Yet, there's a "Bumblebee" spinoff coming...with John Cena starring...so...yeah. Anthony Hopkins is way better than this, but at least he made the film tolerable.
#18
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
The word "unnecessary" comes to mind with this fifth installment, obviously trying to make Johnny Depp relevant again. Javier Bardem does well though, and we get to see Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley again, so a plus for that.
#17
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Guy Ritchie wanted to make a new Arthur universe, but that got squashed when "Legend of the Sword" failed to deliver box office revenue, mostly due to an overly-bloated script and severe lack of substance. Jude Law was laughable as the villain, but Charlie Hunnam did well.
#16
Despicable Me 3
The Minions are as hilarious as ever, but once you make a spinoff that's more successful globally than its maker, you should focus more on that and not relegate them to the background again. Not a bad movie, but not one I particularly remember.
#15
Alien: Covenant
Ridley Scott returns to the classic Alien chasing humans story, with loads of gore and frights, and a commanding performance by Michael Fassbender in a duel role.
#14
Megan Leavey
The true story of a military woman who fights to get her service dog adopted is heartwarming, heart-wrenching, and unforgettable. It's a must for any dog lover, and has an important message about perseverance and how love can change you.
#13
It Comes at Night
A moody, dark, atmospheric horror film that focuses on a family in the middle of an apocalyptic sickness and the lengths they go to survive. It's not the monsters you see on screen that's terrifying, but how humanity interacts with one another in their darkest moments that stick with you.
#12
The Hitman's Bodyguard
Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are comedic gold in this hilarious caper about a former bodyguard for hire who is brought in to protect a hitman - with whom he has several personal run-ins in the past - from a ruthless dictator. Gut-wrenching hilarity ensues.
#11
Atomic Blonde
Charlize Theron proves she's one of today's biggest action heroines with this tale of a spy sent into enemy territory to acquire a list of secret operatives. The action is fast and furious, and Theron commands the screen.
AND NOW FOR THE CREME OF THE CROP,
THE TOP TEN SUMMER MOVIES!
#10
Annabelle: Creation
"The Conjuring" was one of the most unique, terrifying horror movies in recent years. The sequel is equally as terrifying, and they expanded their universe with the introduction of the demonic doll Annabelle. This film - which chronicles her inception - is moody, dark, atmospheric, haunting, terrifying, and most importantly done without the shameless gimmicks of other horror movies. It's smart and brave, and makes you look at your doll collection in a whole another light.
#9
Baby Driver
Going into the summer, I ranked this movie very low on my excitement level, mostly because the title threw me off, and it featured Ansel Elgort as the lead. Much like many people can't stand Tom Cruise, I can't stand Elgort's style of acting, because I feel he's been terrible in anything he's been in (such as "Divergent" and "The Fault in Our Stars"). Yet, under the brilliant direction (and writing) of Edgar Wright, "Baby Driver" turned out to be one of my favorites due to a strong supporting cast, an interesting story, and perfect blend of drama, action, and music in beautiful symmetry.
#8
Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2
Summer kicked off with a bang with "Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2," which focused on Star Lord finding his real father and the adventures that ensue. The entire cast returns, as well as the lovable Baby Groot, and delivers in the laughs and action - and even some heartwarming moments centering around Michael Rooker's Yondu. An all-around perfect Marvel summer film.
#7
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Speaking of the perfect Marvel summer film, after they acquired the rights (although temporarily) to Spider-Man, it proved to audiences that no one can make the Web Slinger work like Marvel. Tom Holland epitomizes Spider-Man's excitement, youthfulness and spirit, and Michael Keaton brings the best Marvel villain since Loki to the screen. Throw in Iron Man as a supporting player and you've got a great summer blockbuster that does our local neighborhood Spider-Man proud.
#6
The Big Sick
In the middle of big budget action summer, this small, independent true life tale of two polar opposites falling in love stole the show. When a Pakistani comedian falls for an American woman, it's taboo in every sense (since his parents want him to have an arranged Muslim marriage). However, that's just the beginning of this daring, bold love story that redefines the romantic comedy genre and features great performances by the two unknown leads, as well as Ray Romano and Holly Hunter.
#5
War for the Planet of the Apes
Rounding out the amazing trilogy of "Rise," "Dawn," and "War," this third installment finds our valiant apes once again pitted against man as the virus continues to spread. Andy Serkis once again deserves an Oscar nomination, as he brings Caesar the ape to brilliant life and shows him struggling with his internal demons. However, since he did it in motion-capture and he's not a human on screen, he probably won't get the recognition he greatly deserves.
#4
Logan Lucky
Steven Soderbergh returns with a film that's easily described as "Ocean's 7-11." Channing Tatum and Adam Driver star as two down-and-out West Virginian brothers who plan on robbing the Charlotte Motor Speedway, and enlist the help of Daniel Craig's expert bomber to help. Only he is "in...car...cer...a..ted" and they have to come up with a plan to spring him out of prison and return him before anyone finds out. It's a hilarious film with great acting and a nuanced, deep story.
#3
Wild River
Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen team up in this epic murder mystery from the writer of "Sicario" and "Hell or High Water." Renner stars an expert tracker who lives amongst the Native Americans, and Olsen stars as a rookie FBI agent sent to investigate a mysterious death. With expert cinematography, excellent casting, excruciating setting and an extreme story, "Wind River" is a masterclass in storytelling that will draw you into the mystery from the very first frame.
#2
Dunkirk
Christopher Nolan is the master of time. With "Dunkirk," he perfectly tells three different stories of events happening at the same location, but during different time frames, and manages to somehow combine them in the most amazing ways. There's not a lot of dialogue in the film, and there's no central character, but he manages to use that to his advantage and weave together an epic tale of the true story about the siege at Dunkirk, and the resilience of the human spirit.
#1
Wonder Woman
It took decades to bring the Princess of Themyscira to the big screen, but it finally happened with "Wonder Woman," and the biggest wonder of all is how it turned out so good. The DC Cinematic Universe hasn't had a hit yet, but Gal Gadot's take on Diana was a dazzling sight to behold, as director Patty Jenkins combined typical superhero action with a deeply personal story and powerful character development. It's not just the perfect summer movie, but a perfect movie all around.
Comments
Post a Comment