Worst2First: My Most Anticipated Films of Summer 2017
Worst2First:
My Most Anticipated Films of Summer 2017
Summertime is finally upon us, and it's looking to be one stellar season at the movies. Superhero movies, long-faithful franchises, raunchy comedies and family-fun entertainment are just some of the plethora of choices to make this summer as you make your way to your theater.
There are 28 big-budget movies on this list, and I will count them down from the movies I'll most likely pass on all the way to my most anticipated movie of the summer.
**There will be no spoilers since the films aren't actually released yet.
Also, the release dates are subject to change.**
#28
The Emoji Movie
July 28
"Meh" is putting it lightly as to the excitement I feel toward this movie, and I'm most certainly not alone. The trailer received over 40,000 dislikes on YouTube when it first appeared, and it's only getting hate since then. The idea of making a full-length feature centering on something we use to express an idea digitally seems like the stupidest move ever, yet somehow I wouldn't be surprised if it became a modest hit. What the film has going for it is the stellar comedic voice actors including T.J. Miller, Sofia Vergara, Anna Faris, James Corden, Maya Rudolph and the ever-amazing Sir Patrick Stewart as Poop. Never thought I'd use the words "sir" and "poop" in the same sentence.
#27
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
May 19
Much like "The Emoji Movie," "The Long Haul" was also met very negatively by YouTube viewers, giving it over 20,000 thumbs down. Based off the widely successful book series, this fourth installment includes an entirely new cast, including possibly one of the worst casting choices in recent memory with the new Rodrick, who looks about as nerdy as his younger brother and resulted in the hottest new meme on the Internet, "not my Rodrick." That will probably be the only success story from this tired franchise.
#26
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
July 21
I'm going to call it now, and I'm calling that Valerian will be the biggest box office bomb of the summer. There's another movie taking place in space with a great soundtrack, and that's called "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2." There's yet another movie taking place in space, one that's been highly anticipated for years, and that's "Star Wars: The Last Jedi." In the middle of these two behemoths of space is this ant of a movie that will no doubt lose the company millions and make this the second letdown for actor Dane DeHaan (after the abysmal "A Cure for Wellness").
#25
The Mummy
June 9
Speaking of box office bombs, I fully expect for "The Mummy" to be included on that list, particularly because it cast Tom Cruise in the lead role. He's been great with the "Mission: Impossible" series, but other than that Cruise's stock has decreased greatly through the years, and it looks like Universal's desire to re-introduce their classic movie monsters will fall flat here, especially since it's sandwiched between "Wonder Woman" and "Cars 3." The story looks completely nonsensical, and the animation is almost laughable, along with its troubled lead whose scream alone is comedic gold.
#24
Baby Driver
July 28
#23
The Nut Job 2
August 18
Grossing only $64 million back in 2014, no one expected - or asked - for a sequel to "The Nut Job," but here you go. Delegate this to something that should've been direct-to-DVD, but the small glimmer of hope for it is the fact that it's coming out at the end of summer, long after "Cars 3" and "Despicable Me 3" have been in theaters.
#22
Cars 3
June 16
Pixar...Pixar...Pixar...WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? While we're all eagerly awaiting a sequel to "The Incredibles," you put out yet another "Cars" movie that will easily sell you toys (which is why you made the sequel in the first place), but will result in yet another smudge on your otherwise nearly perfect track record. In fact, "Cars 2" was your worst outing to date, and I don't know why you think a third film will do any better. At least you didn't focus this one on some second-rate character like Mater, but still, you can do better! Plus the story is as old and stale as they come - a legendary racer facing against the newer, better, faster models. That idea has been used so many times it's as cliche as anything, and this just screams disappointment.
#21
Snatched
May 12
Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn play daughter and mother who take a vacation to an exotic land and of course get kidnapped because, that's what happens to Americans when they travel to exotic lands. Coming off her Netflix special monumental fail, Schumer keeps to her one-note character as Jane Everygirl who loves to party, talk raunchy and make self-defecating jokes at every moment, and resurrecting Goldie Hawn from the Hollywood Retirement Castle doesn't do the film any favors. On the plus side, it's being released on Mother's Day, so it could get some traction there, but that's still a long shot.
#20
Girls Trip
July 21
Every summer there's that all-female raunchy comedy that knocks it out of the park. "Bad Moms" and "Bridesmaids" are most recent, but this summer there's two all-female raunchy comedies, and both seem to follow pretty much the same pattern. Personally, this one looks to be the more forgettable of the two, but still has some solid laughs from a great cast including Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith and Regina Hall.
#19
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
June 2
Based off the beloved childrens' novel series, "Captain Underpants" centers around two kids who convince their principal that he's a superhero named Captain Underpants, and hilarity ensues. The animation is reminiscent of "The Peanuts Movie" and the film features some standout comedic voices including Ed Helms, Jordan Peele and Kevin Hart who - like his previous animated romp "The Secret Life of Pets" - prove that his voice is much more funny than actually seeing him on screen.
#18
Amityville: The Awakening
June 30
If you go through to the end of the trailer, you'll see the words "January 2, 2015." You'd be correct in guessing that it's now 2017, two years later, and it's still not released. If it comes out ever, I will be surprised. The Amityville story is the most debated in haunted history, with most people - including the family who said it happened to them - saying it's all a fake, but there's still the true believers out there. Unfortunately, this movie won't add anything new to the myth, and will just be a tired re-tread of the story that we've heard before.
#17
Baywatch
May 26
Dwayne Johnson is Hollywood's most hottest commodity, and if anyone can revive a long-dead television franchise into a big-budget action/comedy, he can do it. Still, I don't hold high hopes for the film that pits Johnson's Mitch Buchanan against hotshot newcomer Matt Brody, played by Zac Efron, who has perfectly shed his former family-friendly persona you remember from the "High School Musical" days. The two look like they'll play well off each other, but on the hole it looks like a totally soulless endeavor meant to make some money by reminding people that there used to be a series known as "Baywatch."
#16
The Hitman's Bodyguard
August 18
Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are at the top of their games in this film that seems tailor-made for the two comedic action superstars. Reynolds stars as a bodyguard ordered to protect a former hit man played by Jackson, and the two play off each other perfectly, spoofing the classic Kevin Coster/Whitney Houston "The Bodyguard" from the song in the trailer to the movie poster. Not to mention Samuel L. Jackson returns to his "mother *%($ing" roots that's always good for a laugh.
#15
Rough Night
June 16
Between "Rough Night" and "Girls Trip," I think this will be the bigger hit because it boasts a bigger-named star in Scarlett Johansson taking a different road from her normal butt-kicking action films and starring in this ensemble comedy about a group of old friends who go on a trip, hire a stripper, accidentally kills him and tries to cover it up. Not only does Johansson seem to be laugh-out-loud funny, it also features comedic mainstays Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell and Ilana Glazer, as well as Zoe Kravitz.
#14
Atomic Blonde
July 28
It's the old tried and true formula: a butt-kicking female solo act goes against hoards of specialized men and beats them like red-headed stepchildren. Charlize Theron is in her element here as an undercover MI6 agent assigned to find who is killing her fellow operatives, and utilizes all her killing skills to their extreme. Also starring James McAvoy and John Goodman, "Atomic Blonde" looks to be a thrilling, action-packed adventure with a tried and true veteran.
#13
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
May 12
The legend of King Arthur has been told throughout the centuries, and has been featured in several films. Now it's Guy Ritchie who tackles the Arthurian legend with "Legend of the Sword," telling the story of King Arthur and how he came upon Excalibur, and his feud with the evil Vortigern. Before the round table, before Camelot, before Guinevere. Charlie Hunnam takes the role of Arthur, Jude Law plays Vortigern, and Ritchie's own unique directorial styling is shown throughout with its special effects, fighting sequences and unique storytelling.
#12
#11
The Dark Tower
August 4
It's been a long time coming to see Stephen King's seven-novel series "The Dark Tower" hit the big screen, but it's finally happening this summer. Idris Elba stars as the Gunslinger, who is on a journey to stop the Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey) from destroying the world by destroying the Dark Tower. Blending fantasy and western, the film looks to be action packed with great performances and dazzling effects.
#11
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tails
May 26
Johnny Depp has had a series of cinematic blunders as of late - "The Rum Diaries," "Mordecai," and "Alice Through the Looking Glass" were box office bombs, so he hopes to re-vitalize his career by returning as Captain Jack Sparrow in the fifth "Pirates of the Caribbean" film. While it looks better than the previous two installments - along with the addition of Javier Bardem - I feel that the franchise has run its course. Still, it'll be a big hit nonetheless and one that will heavily rely on Depp's natural charm, so it's still something to look forward to - just not as highly anticipated as it should be.
#10
Despicable Me 3
June 30
Typically when a series introduces a new character, it's almost certainly the end of that series, which makes me a bit worried for the latest "Despicable Me" movie since they're introducing Gru's long lost brother Dru, both voiced by Steve Carell. While I think the film will still be a knockout for families and critics alike - especially after the worldwide success of the "Minions" movie - I still worry for the future of the franchise and hope this third installment as a funny and memorable as the previous two.
#9
Annabelle: Creation
August 11
Expanding on "The Conjuring" universe, "Annabelle: Creation" centers on the origin story of Annabelle, the creepy doll that Ed and Lorraine Warren encountered in the first "Conjuring" film - even if it was just for the first ten minutes. The doll already had its own successful spinoff, and now we're given information as to how the doll was created, and the evil spirit that inhabits it. While it doesn't look as scary as "The Conjuring" films, this will undoubtedly be a frightful adventure into the world of the unknown.
#8
Transformers: The Last Knight
June 23
There's an old saying: "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, three times, four times...shame on me." Well, that's not exactly how it goes, but that's how I feel regarding Michael Bay's "Transformers" series. I was so excited to see my childhood toys come to brilliant life, but was terribly let down by the first film. Still, I was hopeful for each subsequent installment, only to be let down again and again. Now in its fifth film, I am once again cautiously optimistic, because it seems to feature Unicron - the most feared being in the Transformers universe that literally eats worlds - and also seeing Optimus Prime as the bad guy. I'm just holding out hope that this will be the Transformers movie I've been waiting for. As Gandalf himself said in "The Lord of the Rings" - "there never was much hope. Just a fool's hope."
#7
All Eyez On Me
June 16
In 2015, the biopic "Straight Outta Compton" blew everyone away, making it a surprise box office and critical success in a summer otherwise crowded with big-budget action flicks. Now it's the story of Tupac that's getting the summer biopic release, and it looks just as intriguing and well-written as "Compton" was. Not to mention the actor playing the late rapper looks nearly exactly like him, and it also features one of my favorite actresses, Danai "Michonne" Gurira, as Tupac's mother. It looks to be one of those films that should get some serious awards recognition later in the year.
#6
Dunkirk
July 21
Christopher Nolan is one of today's most prolific, profound directors and writers, gracing viewers with unforgettable films such as "Memento," "The Dark Knight" and "Inception." Here he tells the true-life story of the battle of Dunkirk, when allied soldiers from Belgium, Britain, Canada and France are surrounded by the German army and evacuated during World War II. Nolan mainstays Cillian Murphy and Tom Hardy star, along with Oscar-winner Mark Rylance, Kenneth Branagh and One Direction singer Harry Styles. It looks to be an epic tale with great performances, terrific action and a harrowing true-life tale.
#5
Alien: Covenant
May 19
Ridley Scott returns to the franchise that made him a household name with the latest "Alien" installment. "Covenant" follows the events after "Prometheus," where a crew find what seems to be a utopian paradise on a faraway planet, only to discover the terrifying truth that lies beneath. Featuring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston and even comedic stars James Franco and Danny McBride, "Alien: Covenant" looks terrifying, filled with heart-pounding suspense and the return of one of the most feared creatures in recent cinematic history.
#4
War for the Planet of the Apes
July 14
After Tim Burton's disastrous remake, it looked like the Apes would stay dead forever, but then "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" was released in 2011, and met with critical and box office success. The follow-up, "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" was met with the same positive results, and now the third film in the "Planet of the Apes" prequels drops with "War for the Planet of the Apes." This time Woody Harrelson wages a war against the apes, led by Caesar, who is on his own journey of battling his darker instincts. Once again Andy Serkis portrays Caesar in motion-capture in such a beautiful, brilliant way that only he can, and it looks to be a fitting end to a very strong prequel trilogy.
#3
Wonder Woman
June 2
If there was anything good to come out of "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice," it would be Gal Gadot's portrayal of Wonder Woman. After decades of wanting to bring her story to the big screen, she's finally getting the recognition she deserves with "Wonder Woman," a film that looks to be the best so far in the DC franchise, featuring amazing action, great acting and dazzling effects. Hopefully this won't be as bad as some of DC's previous outings, but I have faith that Gal Gadot can do Diana justice.
#2
Spider-Man: Homecoming
July 7
For years, fans have been dying to see Spider-Man fight alongside fellow Marvel superheroes, and last year we got a taste of that in "Captain America: Civil War." Tom Holland is the third actor to play Peter Parker, and for once they got the casting right. Holland's youthful look and sarcastic wit epitomizes who Spider-Man is, and it took giving the rights back to Marvel to do him justice. Now alongside Iron Man, Spider-Man must protect his family and city from The Vulture - who is played by Michael Keaton, which is a stroke of casting genius since he was just nominated for an Oscar for his portrayal in "Birdman," where he played a washed-up superhero. Showcasing all its Marvel flare, this looks to be the best Spider-Man ever to grace the screen, which will hopefully continue for years to come.
#1
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
May 5
To say the first "Guardians of the Galaxy" was a surprise hit would be an understatement. Hardly anyone thought a superhero film featuring a talking raccoon and tree would be a hit, but Marvel once again proved its staying power and ability to write a compelling story with fast-paced one-liners and unbelievable action. Not to mention amazing casting choices including Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel and Michael Rooker. The film blended sci-fi action, a kicking 80s soundtrack, and a top-notch cast to become the sleeper hit of the summer, and now the long-awaited sequel is upon us. Not only do we get to see our favorite Guardians return, but they've added some members to their roster including Nebula, Mantis and Yondu. Not to mention Baby Groot, which will easily become this year's hottest thing, along with Kurt Russell as Star-Lord's long lost father. No doubt this will be another Marvel success story which will tie into the very hyped "Infinity War" movie.
Comments
Post a Comment