Martyrs

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Martyrs
Starring Troian Bellisario, Bailey Noble, Caitlin Carmichael, Romy Rosemont
Directed by Kevin & Michael Goetz

The Story:
Young Lucy manages to escape from a man who's been torturing her for years, but when the police go to investigate, they don't find anyone.  She is sent to an orphanage where young Anna befriends her, and they quickly become best friends.  All the while, Lucy is tormented by the monsters of her past, and Anna struggles with believing Lucy.

Ten years later, Lucy supposedly tracks down the man responsible for her torture, and calls Anna so she can verify what really happened to her.  Anna arrives at the house to a gruesome sight, and it seems Lucy really has lost her mind - until Anna finds the hidden torture chamber in the basement.  Before they could escape, they're apprehended by members of a secret society who strive to learn the secrets of life after death - using Lucy as the ultimate martyr.

The Synopsis:
Back in 2008, the French horror psychological thriller "Martyrs" was released, and it was one of the most unnerving films I've seen in awhile.  I only saw it once, many years ago, and I still remember large portions of it.  When I heard they were making an American version of the film, I groaned because I knew it wouldn't hold a candle to the original.

Not only was I right, but it was far worse than even I imagined it to be.

Directors Kevin and Michael Goetz stated before the film was released that it wasn't a shot-for-shot remake, but rather a "re-imagining."  That's Hollywood lingo for "we can't come up with our own unique ideas so we're going to take concepts from a far better film we could ever do and slap on some bumper-sticker style additions to make it our own."  They also stated that the film wouldn't be as gory as the original 2008 version.  Just what a horror fanatic wants to hear: toned down violence.  So it's "Martyrs" if Disney had done it.  Makes it SO much better.

So the film already had those negatives going for it, and everything else was just the icing on the peanut butter cake they forced down the throats of people who are allergic to nuts.  There's no grand theme to the film, no nerve-wracking scenes, and no real point at all.  Wherein the original "Martyrs" tried to philosophize the concept of nirvana, this one is a cheap, wannabe "Saw" style torture porn film without...well...the torture.  There's a few scenes that were torturous, but overall it was just a souless retread of something far superior.

Of course, if you never saw the original "Martyrs" because you couldn't get over the fact that it was subtitled, you might enjoy this remake.  Troian Bellisario and Bailey Noble give decent performances, and the setting is nice enough.  It gives the typical American happy ending, and firmly promotes the "I am woman, hear me roar" mantra of American films.  I just can't review this film as if I never saw the original, because it was far more superior in every single way.  

The Summary:
If you're too scared to see the superior remake, then this "Martyrs" is right up your alley.

The Score: B-

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