Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort

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Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort
Starring Anthony Ilott, Chris Jarvis, Aqueela Zoll, Sadie Katz
Directed by Valeri Milev

Synopsis:
Having gone through some traumatic events in his life, Danny (Anthony Ilott) is a man without a family, until he learns he's inherited a spa resort, and, more importantly, a chance to learn who he really is.  With his girlfriend Toni (Aqueela Zoll) and some friends, he heads to the resort and meets caretakers Jackson (Chris Jarvis) and his lover/sister Sally (Sadie Katz).

As Danny begins to learn about his heritage, his friends start going missing at the hands of the cannibalistic inbreds Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye.  Toni has bad feelings, but Danny insists on staying and turning the once thriving resort back to its original glory, and he's faced with a deadly decision - stay with his friends, or join with his real family.

Review:
For this sequel...or prequel?...the once intriguing Wrong Turn series once again takes...a wrong turn!  This time the once fearsome cannibal inbreds are reduced to second string fiddles, assigned to kill whoever Jackson and Sally say.  How it is that Jackson and Sally look very normal while the rest of the family doesn't is beyond me, but whatever.

Danny, who is one of the youngest Wall Street brokers ever, doesn't know his family.  Why that is we don't know, and how he managed to make it out of the woods is also a mystery.  All we know is that something went wrong in his job, he lost money, and he cuts himself.  First world problems.  However, now things are looking up for him as he's finally found a family - no matter how insane or murderous they are.

His friends are stock characters from every horror film ever.  The stoner, the spoiled brat, the fake best friend, the doting girlfriend, the techie and the girlfriend's brother.  All of whom could be Abercrombie models, and none you really care for.  In fact, not even Danny is that sympathetic, so you end up rooting for...the bad guys I guess?

As for the story, you can tell where it's going a mile away.  The film is very formulaic, and dares not tread into any new areas, otherwise they might take their own wrong turn!  I'm trying to make this review fun because the film was severely lacking in it.

Eh, I'm done.

Summary:
Ever since the second film, the Wrong Turn series is holding true to their title, taking wrong turn after wrong turn until ending up with this drivel.  At least, until the inevitable seventh film comes out.

My Rating: C-

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