JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort Starring Anthony Ilott, Chris Jarvis, Aqueela Zoll, Sadie Katz Directed by Valeri Milev Synopsis: Having gone through some traumatic events in his life, Danny (Anthony Ilott) is a man without a family, until he learns he's inherited a spa resort, and, more importantly, a chance to learn who he really is.  With his girlfriend Toni (Aqueela Zoll) and some friends, he heads to the resort and meets caretakers Jackson (Chris Jarvis) and his lover/sister Sally (Sadie Katz). As Danny begins to learn about his heritage, his friends start going missing at the hands of the cannibalistic inbreds Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye.  Toni has bad feelings, but Danny insists on staying and turning the once thriving resort back to its original glory, and he's faced with a deadly decision - stay with his friends, or join with his real family. Review: For this sequel...or prequel?...the once intriguing Wrong Turn series once again takes...a wrong tur...

Interstellar Starring Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, Michael Caine Directed by Christopher Nolan Synopsis: As the Earth slowly dies due to an unending Dust Bowl that causes an agricultural collapse, a team of astronauts led by former NASA pilot Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) and scientist Brand (Anne Hathaway) blast off into space to investigate a mysterious wormhole that opened up near Saturn.  They travel through the wormhole into another galaxy where there's three alien planets that could support life, but also include strong gravitational forces that affect the passage of time. Cooper wants to find the planet so his young daughter Murphy (Mackenzie Foy) and humanity itself doesn't perish, but unforseen circumstances cause them to be delayed, and Cooper is devastated to learn that his little girl has grown into a woman (played by Jessica Chastain), who devotes her life to helping find a way off the dying Earth. Review: In 1968, legendar...

Way of the Wicked Starring Vinnie Jones, Emily Tennant, Jake Croker, Christian Slater Directed by Kevin Carraway Synopsis: When they were younger, Heather (Emily Tennant) and Robbie (Jake Croker) were involved in a situation that resulted in the unnatural death of a fellow student.  Robbie and his family left town, but five years later they've returned, and Robbie still has feelings for Heather.  Upon his return, a series of strange deaths begin to occur that seem to center on the teen, and local priest Henry (Christian Slater) seems to believe Robbie is the antichrist, and go to Heather's father (Vinnie Jones), a detective, for help.  Is Robbie really the antichrist, and would evil prevail over good? Review: When you have Christian Slater as the lead on the DVD cover, and he's literally in the film for a whole five minutes, you got problems.  When your headline actor hasn't done anything worthwhile in years, you come into the film expecting something ...

Transcendence Starring Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany, Morgan Freeman  Directed by Wally Pfister Synopsis: Will Caster (Johnny Depp) and his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) are scientists who worked together to create a sentient computer, to the chagrin of several, including a radical group known as R.I.F.T. who believe the Casters are playing God.  Will is shot by one of its members, and the bullet is laced with polonium, which is radiation and cannot be cured, and Will is given a month to live. In desperation, Evelyn decides to upload Will's consciousness to the computer, and after he dies he "transcends" death by becoming the machine, and after Evelyn hooks him to the Internet, he becomes a supreme being. Years later, Will - through the computer - has been able to heal diseases and create plants, but there's a deadly side effect that threatens the existence of organic humanity if Will's lust for supreme power cannot be stopped. Review: Th...

Compliance Starring Ann Dowd, Dreama Walker, Pat Healy, Philip Ettinger Directed by Craig Zobel Synopsis: It began as an ordinary Friday at a fast food restaurant.  Sandra (Ann Dowd), the manager, was understaffed and faced a predicament of someone having left the freezer open overnight, spoiling some of the food.  She thought that would be the wort of her day, but the true terror was just beginning. She receives a mysterious phone call from someone calling themselves Officer Daniels (Pat Healy), who tells Sandra that a customer has reported money being stolen from her by Sandra's employee Becky (Dreama Walker).  Sandra calls Becky to her office and, having been given orders by Officer Daniels on the phone, searches her.  This is only the beginning of a day of terror for Becky, and a prank that turns into something unthinkable. Review: The film begins with "based on actual events," and I've seen enough films to know that this is very loosely interpre...

Sharknado 2: The Second One Starring Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath Directed by Anthony Ferrante Synopsis: While heading to New York to visit family, Finn (Ian Ziering) and April (Tara Reid) are thrown in the middle of a storm - a sharknado storm - as two sharknadoes converge on the Big Apple, it's up to them to save the city. Review: I enter the DVD into the player. Me to my brain: "Brain, take the next hour or so off.  Enjoy yourself." Brain: "Alright." Turns off. Turns on movie. Me: "Ha ha ha.  Kelly Osbourne.  Ha ha ha.  Matt Lauer and Al Roker!  Ha ha ha, sharks in tornadoes!  Ha ha ha, Kelly and Michael!  Ha ha ha Vivica A. Fox with a sword!  Ha ha ha, chainsaw!" Summary: Turn your brain off, for this is about as mindless as you can imagine. My Rating: C

The Place Beyond the Pines Starring Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes, Bradley Cooper, Dane DeHaan Directed by Derek Cianfrance Synopsis: Luke (Ryan Gosling) is a motorcycle stunt rider who travels the country.  After a show in his hometown, he visits his old flame Romina (Eva Mendes), and finds out that he has a son.  He quits the circuit and vows to be a good father to his son, unlike his own father was. Without money, Luke resorts to robbing banks in order to provide for his son, and it spirals out of control until he eventually comes face-to-face with Officer Avery (Bradley Cooper). Avery wants to flush out the corruption in Schenectady, but he's just an ordinary beat cop, until he takes down Luke and is proclaimed a hero.  He exposes the corruption and begins to rise among the ranks. Fifteen years later, Luke's son Jason (Dane DeHaan), and Avery's son AJ (Emory Cohen), are teenagers at the same school, and become fast friends, without knowing the history the...