Meg 2: The Trench

Meg 2: The Trench
Starring Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Shya Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis
Directed by Ben Wheatley

Shark movies have a history of either being cinematic masterpieces or films designed to appeal to the b-rated action soul in all of us. Not every movie can be "Jaws," but thankfully they can't all be "Sharknado" either. "The Meg" was one of those shark films that fell somewhere in the middle, teetering between taking itself too seriously and having some fun with it. While it worked in a sense, the long-gestating "Meg 2: The Trench" teetered off the edge of melodrama, taking itself so seriously for the first two thirds of its bloated runtime that by the time we get to what is supposed to be enjoyable camp, it's just an exercise in futility. Not even the actors seem to want to be there, and neither does the audience.

Years after saving everyone from a killer Megalodon, Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is now an environmental freedom fighter, taking down anyone bent on destroying the habitat of the sea creatures in the ocean. He also continues work with the Mana One team led by Mac Mackreides (Cliff Curtis) as they investigate the Marianas Trench where the first Megalodon emerged from. On a routine trip they encounter a ship under the trench that's illegally mining resources, and also find a group of Megalodons and a giant octopus that break out of the trench after the mining company releases bombs in the ocean. Not only does Jonas and his friends have to stop these prehistoric creatures from wreaking havoc on an unsuspecting populous, but they also have to stop the miners who are bent on silencing them for good.


The Good:
The effects were decent for the most part, even though some moments existed where the sharks looked clearly fake, but there were other moments where they really looked frightening.

The final moments of the film is what "Meg 2" should've been from the start: unyielding carnage and PG-13 bloodshed. The sharks (and an octopus along with some other creatures that can also roam the land) make mincemeat of patrons at a local resort, and it's gleefully fun carnage. It's like "Sharknado" with a budget (and, thankfully, no tornado). Seeing Jason Statham riding a jet ski harpooning these massive beasts is humorous, and when he tries to stop one from eating him by kicking his nose is downright belly-busting. Yet by that time the running time hit one hour and thirty minutes, and it's about one hour and thirty minutes too late.


The Bad:
The film is too melodramatic for its own good. Instead of focusing on the Megalodons, the main baddies are illegal drillers who want to silence Jonas and company so they can make (insert Dr. Evil here) billions. There's double crosses, deception, shootouts, and a bunch of other nonsense that would've worked if the film was about this, but going in thinking you're going to see Megalodons chowing down on morons, you're left terribly wanting.

Jason Statham and company don't seem at all happy to be there anymore, and go through the motions like they're parodying their own work. Even when Statham is taking down Megs on his own, it looks like he's sleepwalking through the performance.

The film is agonizingly slow and even more agonizingly boring. Though some of these characters were in the first film as well, there's no stakes whatsoever for their safety. You know who'll live because they're top billing, and everyone under the fifth name will be dispatched by one means or another. In the end, you don't care, because it's so wrote and predictable it takes away from any sense of tension.


The Verdict:
Sometimes ancient creatures should remain at the bottom of the ocean where they belong, and then there's "Meg 2," which seems like a relic itself that should've never breached the surface.


The Score: D