Unfavorable Odds

Unfavorable Odds
Starring Grayson Berry, Maria Tornberg, Charles Ambrose, Malik Whitfield
Directed by Boogievision

When people are asked what the worst movie ever made was, two films immediately come to mind: first there's the "Citizen Kane" of bad films - "The Room" - a film that's so bad it's reached cult status, where a film about the making of that film was nominated for an Oscar and starred James and Dave Franco. Then there's "Birdemic: Shock and Terror," a wannabe "The Birds" movie that featured the most terrible effects ever put on screen, with a story that would make the phrase "it doesn't make sense" blush. Now you can add the trifecta of bad movies with "Unfavorable Odds," a film that, by all legal right, shouldn't be called a film to begin with. A movie...which also it shouldn't be called...that's so dated and misogynistic that it's a wonder it was ever made - or released - to begin with.

Brad (Grayson Berry) and his wife Victoria (Maria Tornberg) are on the rocks, but Brad has no idea because he thinks everything is going great with their relationship, even though he ignores her, forgets important dates, and gives her a Duran Duran CD for Valentine's Day. Still, his ego is so huge that he thinks Victoria will find no one else as attractive or desirable as him, so he makes a bet with his philandering, womanizing best friend Wes (Charles Ambrose): $5,000 that he won't be able to seduce Victoria in ten days. Wes takes the bet, and Brad grows concerned when she tells him that Wes is taking her to New York City for a business trip, so Brad secretly follows them and stalks them through several days in New York City, concerned that Wes could actually win the bet and that he could lose his wife forever.

I don't even know where to begin with how terrible this thing (I can't in good conscious call it a film or a movie anymore) is. I have to compartmentalize my criticisms in order to fully express how tremendously awful this thing was, and yes I will "spoil" things even though there's not a lot of story to be had.

First is the story itself. This could've worked - maybe - decades ago when women were seen as mere objects for men to ogle over and treat like property, but in 2022 it's an entirely tone-deaf thing. The main story is how a husband whores out his wife to his best friend thinking that she won't fall for another man because he's so irresistible that no one else would compare, even though he puts his job (which, by the way, I have no clue what he does) and his friends above the needs of his wife. He gets her a freaking Duran Duran CD for Valentine's Day because he thinks she likes a song from it. When the bet starts he has concerns that he could lose, so he stalks her every move, even donning a stupid pink ski mask to watch outside his friend's house, and to which he's promptly arrested (yet it's never really discussed why he was there afterward). Then when he finds that his friend is taking her to New York City, he tries to get on a plane but they find a lot of questionable materials in his suitcase (including the ski mask, rope, and the like), but when he says he's trying to prevent his friend from wooing his wife, the security guy lets him go - because that's what would really happen. It continues on like this as he literally crawls on restaurant floors, uses menus to hide his face, and conceals his identity with magazines to prevent from being seen despite being mere feet away. He steals a cleaning cart to find their room somehow, and when the maid chases him it's not even a chase as he speed walks away, and somehow finds his friend's room despite it being an apparently big hotel (charging $1,000 a night). When this thing finally reaches its climax, there isn't one to be had - he finds her at his hotel room after the bet, she says they need to talk, and then...they don't talk, but he gets her a painting she wanted and she acts like nothing happened. Like...really? How?

Next is the cinematography, if you call it that. When you have a director billed as "Boogievision," you already know you're in trouble. This looks like it was filmed with an iPhone in its single digits, with the audio cutting in and out, the scenes being too sunlit, and pointless cuts and edits of random houses, roads, and the like. Then there's placards centering on each day of the bet that come and go in the blink of an eye, and looks like it was edited with a free version of Photoshop, culminating in an epilogue placard that read...and I quote..."Six month's later." Yes, they included an apostrophe which means it says "Six month is later" instead of the appropriate "Six months later." The majority of the film is supposed to take place in New York City, but the landscape doesn't match with the Big Apple - not to mention the cars all have Texas license plates. Then the hotel in New York City is also the same hotel back home, including the awful carpet. You can tell some scenes were shot with set pieces, especially Brad's office, because it's clear that most of the furnishings are fake. I'd say this was akin to a high school production, but that'd be an insult to high school productions everywhere.

When it comes to the sound design, I wish I could think of something witty but that'd be giving it too much thought. The audio swells and ebbs, cuts out at random times, and incorporates the same song throughout the thing, which overtakes any conversations going on.

Finally the acting...if you call it that. Grayson Berry looks like he just went through Botox surgery as he always has this fake leathery appearance in his face, and he doesn't seem to understand how to act in any sense of the word. Charles Ambrose (who actually has a somewhat decent career appearing in "Sons of Anarchy") is terrible, playing as a playboy who uses women to his will, and all the women fall for it (which sets back the women's rights movement at least a hundred years). Maria Tornberg is the witless Victoria, the pawn in the game of macho one-upsmanship who has no voice of her own, and who is easily manipulated by both men.

While "The Room" and "Birdemic" are actually enjoyable to watch due to how awful they are, "Unfavorable Odds" isn't even worth one viewing, let alone multiple ones. This would be a great thing to use for terrorists to tell what they know by playing this on loop, because they'll be spilling their guts before the first time it ends. The odds are not in your favor that you'll enjoy even a minuscule moment of whatever this thing was, and its existence alone will be added to the greatest mysteries of the universe.

The Score: F

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Major Theatrical Releases May 2019

Witch

Special Review: "Midwest Sessions"