JoeMama's Movie Reviews

  After Ever Happy Starring Josephine Langford, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Ali Asghar Shah, Louise Lombard Directed by Castille Landon *IN HONOR OF "OPPOSITE DAY" (WHICH IS A DAY I JUST MADE UP), I WILL BE REVIEWING "AFTER EVER HAPPY" AS IF IT WAS, IN FACT, OPPOSITE DAY* From the dawn of cinematic creation there's been a longing, a need, a desire to find that "perfect" film - a film that's undeniably the definition of perfection, with not one single moment where you're left wondering what the heck is actually happening or why is this even in existence, but thankful to the high heavens above that such a masterclass of cinema was made. Scholars, historians, and critics alike throughout the decades have given up on ever finding this Midas Touch film, but they were all losers - they didn't hold out hope, thinking the impossible was unattainable, but now it's here. The perfect film. The film that redefines cinema in general, makes you ponder the d...

I Wanna Dance With Somebody Starring Naomi Ackie, Stanley Tucci, Ashton Sanders, Tamara Tunie Directed by Kasi Lemmons For me, my least favorite subgenre of film is the musical biopic, because they all promise the same thing yet more often than not fail to deliver on that promise: they almost always announce the film as "the (insert artist here) you never knew." With such a weighted statement you'd expect to go into a film like "All Eyez On Me" or "Respect" and find out something new about those artists that we've grown up with, but instead all it does is give us a Wikipedia-style fact-based greatest hits of their life which usually just involves them finding the music that shaped them. "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" is no different, where it offered "the Whitney you never knew" and instead gave us "the Whitney we could've read on Wikipedia with her music playing in the background." Growing up with famous gospel sin...

The Whale Starring Brendan Fraser, Sadie Sink, Hong Chau, Ty Simpkins Directed by Darren Aronofsky When it was revealed that Brendan Fraser was coming out of self-imposed retirement after a horrifying event that occurred to him years ago, the Internet was ablaze with praise for the former "The Mummy" star to return to the big screen. When it was revealed that his role was going to be a 600-pound man, the Internet again praised him for his courage and dedication, as the actor himself underwent serious weight gain after the event. When "The Whale" was released, the Internet yet again praised his performance as one of the best performances they've ever seen. Yet when the critics got to it, they lambasted the film in a wholly unfair manner, waxing philosophical and pandering to their own sense of self-guilt about how they treat other people, claiming the film is an exploitation of fat people and Darren Aronofsky just wanted to parade Fraser on screen in a fat suit t...

Hellhole Starring Piotr Zurawski, Olaf Lubaszenko, Sebastian Stankiewicz, Lech Dybik Directed by Bartosz M. Kowalski Exorcism films typically follow the same pattern, and it's hard to deviate from said pattern because such a tight subgenre really doesn't allow for it. "Hellhole" is a Polish exorcist film that attempts to stray from the tried-and-true pattern, and it had all the earmarks to make it work - a spooky setting, great blend of practical and special effects, and a unique twist - but ultimately it was all for naught, as even though the final ten minutes are worth watching, it doesn't warrant the previous hour and twenty minutes to get to that point. Thirty years after a priest almost kills a child bearing an evil mark, said child is now Marek (Piotry Zurawski), a priest who is sent to a sanatorium church led by Prior Andrzej (Olaf Lubaszenko) to help with an exorcism. While there he begins investigating the mysterious happenings of the church, and discover...

  Babylon Starring Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Diego Calva, Jean Smart Directed by Damien Chazelle The Biblical story of Babylon is an interesting one and really encapsulates what Oscar-winning director Damien Chazelle seemed to want to tell its audience, even though I'm sure he's not a biblical scholar. The origins of Babylon began with a man named Nimrod who was known for his pride and rebellion, and his kingdom was known as Babel, whose inhabitants wanted to be equal with God by building a great tower to the heavens, but God confused their language so they couldn't understand one another. Babel was then called Babylon, and was known for its immorality, pride, and wickedness. So while Chazelle probably doesn't hold a degree in biblical literature, it's no surprise why he called this epic tale "Babylon," as it takes place where many people believe the modern-day equivalent of Babylon to be - Hollywood. In the late 1920s, Mexican-American immigrant Manny Tor...

  Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery Starring Daniel Craig, Edward Norton, Janelle Monae, Dave Bautista Directed by Rian Johnson The whodunit genre has been practically monopolized by the likes of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot, and its appeal was waning in recent years due to its somewhat archaic nature of having a group of people together, a murder being committed, everyone involved having a solid motive, and one lone detective to sort everything out, gathering everyone in one room to slowly reveal his findings. Then came Rian Johnson, who turned the whodunit genre on its head with his own unique spin called "Knives Out" in 2019, and created his own modern-day detective, Benoit Blanc, a Foghorn Leghorn speaking Southerner who's eccentricities help deduce the most mind-bending mysteries. With a highly capable ensemble cast and a script so cleverly written that it defied anything that came before, "Knives Out...

Watcher Starring Maika Monroe, Karl Glusman, Burn Gorman, Madalina Anea Directed by Chloe Okuno There was a time where I made an impulsive move to Maryland from Ohio and I literally knew one or two people there. No job, no other friends, and no family near me, I felt totally isolated and alone, and I immediately regretted my decision. Fortunately I was lucky enough to still have my job back home, and five days after moving I moved back and life has been amazing since. All that to say I have a bit of an understanding as to how Julia feels in "Watcher" - having been displaced from her life in New York to move with her husband to an entirely different country, she feels totally alone and isolated: but unlike me, she actually has something to worry about - a stalker who watches her every move...or is it all in her overactive mind? Julia (Maika Monroe) and her husband Francis (Karl Glusman) just moved to Francis's family's homeland of Romania, and while he's fluent in ...

A Tale of Two Christmases Starring Katherine Barrell, Chandler Massey, Evan Roderick, Beverly Breuer Directed by Jason Bourque The Hallmark Channel Christmas romantic comedy genre is defined by a simple formula: small town girl gets a job in the big city and falls for the corporate guy who's all business, but on a trip home for Christmas she rekindles the friendship with a lifelong male counterpart and realizes the true meaning of love, settling down with her former best friend instead of the uppity business type. This formula has pretty much stayed true through the seemingly-decades-long Hallmark Christmas system, and "A Tale of Two Christmases" is in a sense no exception, but in this case it's instead of one story we get two for the price of one, a sort of "choose your own adventure" tale that defines the "first world problems" motif. Emma (Katherine Barrell) is an aspiring architect living in Chicago, but she's from a small town in Vermont. ...

The Wonder Starring Florence Pugh, Kila Lord Cassidy, Tom Burke, Elaine Cassidy Directed by Sebastian Lelio It has to be a difficult occupation to be a nurse, especially when you're tending to someone as they slowly deteriorate to the end of their life. To just sit by and watch helplessly as someone refuses aid and help, giving into their more zealous religious beliefs rather than practical medicine. Or someone who watches as something terrible happens to someone else, and being totally incapable of helping them. Just watching in general is a terrible thought, as we're all programmed inherently to want to help our fellow man, and not being able to is a nightmare. Such is the story of "The Wonder," a film that's darkly beautiful in its storytelling that pulls us in as a helpless watcher much like our protagonist, forced to sit back and watch as a young girl could possibly die by her own religious beliefs. In 1862 English nurse Lib Wright (Florence Pugh) arrives in...

Resurrection Starring Rebecca Hall, Tim Roth, Grace Kaufman, Michael Esper Directed by Andrew Semans While the horror genre often focuses on the fantastical - things that would never happen in real life - sometimes it delves into the real-life horrors people face on a daily basis. Haunted by past mistakes, past hurts, and past traumas can be more horrifying to people than a hockey-masked killer or some guy wielding a chainsaw. Those moments stick with us, shape us, and haunt us not just in our sleep but in our waking lives, and unlike a horror movie it doesn't end when the credits roll: it lingers for years and years, and we find ourselves living in our own horror movie. "Resurrection" is one such horror film - not one filled with jump scares and a unstoppable immortal evil, but rather a woman's unraveling over what happened to her in her past, leading herself - and the audience - to wonder what is real and what is taking place in her very fractured brain. Margaret (R...

Devotion Starring Jonathan Majors, Glen Powell, Christina Jackson, Joe Jonas Directed by J.D. Dillard There's been several films centering on the dark chapter of American history where racism was more rampant than it is now, and sometimes panders to the "white savior complex" where a white friend of the African American person comes to their rescue. "Green Book," "Driving Miss Daisy" and "The Defiant Ones" focus on those themes, but "Devotion" is something different - it's not about an African American man needing the help of a white person, but rather a sense of duel respect and admiration that formed a deep-seeded friendship and bond that brought out the best in both men, a true story of the first African American aviator for the U.S. Navy during America's forgotten war. Ensign Jesse Brown (Jonathan Majors) is the first African American man to fly for the U.S. Navy, and he's not blind to the racism that's going on ...

Christmas Bloody Christmas Starring Riley Dandy, Sam Delich, Jonah Ray, Abraham Benrubi Directed by Joe Begos Tis the season to gather the family around the television, watch some classic Christmas movies like "White Christmas" and "A Christmas Story" before you put the little kiddos to sleep after putting out milk and cookies for jolly ole Saint Nick, and once the wee ones are asleep it's time for you to watch your own brand of Christmas movies - "Black Christmas," "Silent Night Deadly Night," and now "Christmas Bloody Christmas," the antithesis to all things holly and jolly. Christmastime might be remembered for bringing families together and celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, but the horror industry has taken this holy holiday and crafted their own unique brand of holiday horror for decades now, and while "Christmas Bloody Christmas" won't really be remembered years from now, it's still a fun, blood-s...

The Fabelmans Starring Gabriel LaBelle, Michelle Williams, Paul Dano, Seth Rogen Directed by Steven Spielberg People nowadays tend to dismiss movies as nothing more than flights of fancy, where agendas are shoved down peoples' throats and many believe that the theater-going experience is dead. Those people have lost the passion of movies, and what they really mean to the individual - a movie takes you to a different place, transports you body and soul into the immersive experience you view on the big screen like a magical mirror peering into a different universe. They inspire, they make you laugh, make you cry, make you scream, and make you fall in love. They remain in our memories for decades to come, and they bring families together, creating lifelong memories of watching a movie together every Christmas or Thanksgiving, and excites the creativity in us all. One of the most talented directors is Steven Spielberg, and "The Fabelmans" is his fictionalized story of how he ...

  Triangle of Sadness Starring Charlbi Dean, Harris Dickinson, Woody Harrelson, Dolly de Leon Directed by Ruben Ostlund The triangle of sadness refers to the part of the face between the eyebrows where a person's stress and worry is openly apparent, but famed Swedish director Ruben Ostlund is known for crafting more satirical, out-of-the-norm films so the film that this idea is titled after goes far deeper than the physical, even though the main purpose of "Triangle of Sadness" is to skewer the wealthy elite who have lost all touch with practical reality. The metaphor is still there, as us on the bottom rungs of elite society wonder what does the wealthy have to worry about, and as it turns out there's a lot of things that they worry about - such as the fact that most of their jobs are either handed down to them through generations or they work in such vain fields that at any moment they can be replaced by the next "hot young thing." Either way, "Triang...