The Farewell

The Farewell

Starring Awkwafina, Zhao Shuzhen, Tzi Ma, Diana Lin

Directed by Lulu Wang

The Story:
Billi Wang (Awkwafina) was born in China but left her family with her parents Haiyan (Tzi Ma) and Jian (Diana Lin) at a young age to live in America, where she's spent the last twenty-five years.  She daily converses on the phone with her grandmother, Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen), who dispenses grandmotherly advice and worries about Billi living in New York City, where she hears people steal earrings off a girl's ears.

One night Billi visits her parents and find them in a distant state, and learns that Nai Nai has terminal cancer and is dying, and they're heading to China to be with her - but they're not telling her about the illness, but rather the family gathered together to concoct a lie about Nai Nai's grandson getting married.  Billi is devastated and doesn't understand why they're lying to Nai Nai, and as they arrive in China they re-connect with their family and Billi spends more time with Nai Nai, all the while maintaining the lie but not fully understanding it due to her Western upbringing - but she really just wants to spend time with her grandmother for her final moments.

The Synopsis:
Death is a topic that is hardly ever addressed in America, and it's something that's seemingly too taboo to bring up.  Every country, every religion, every family deals with death different ways, and "The Farewell" tackles the tough subject of death through the lens of a devout Chinese family - when they discover the matriarch of the family has terminal cancer, they don't tell her, but instead concoct a lie about her grandson getting married in order to bring everyone together.  The result is a hauntingly beautiful, poignant, and even humorous film that pays special attention to the sensitive matters at hand, all the while maintaining a sense of reality and not adhering to stereotypes or cliches, but rather the bare bones of it all - and it's probably because it's based on an actual story.

This actual story belongs to director and writer Lulu Wang, who found out her grandmother had terminal cancer and was told by her family not to tell her, but instead they all head to China under the guise of the grandmother's grandson's wedding.  For Western audiences, this doesn't make a lot of sense - and we get this representation from Americanized family member Billi - but as the film progresses and we learn the deeper truths as to why, we begin to believe that this is, as the doctor puts it, a good lie.

For us in the West, we value our family, but we also tend to send the oldest and most feeble to live in a retirement home far away from our responsibility, but here the family comes together in the darkest time, and this lie is told not for the sake of the family, but for the entirety of the family.  As it's put in the film, the family has to maintain the lie so they can share the emotional brunt of what's about to happen, instead of having it all rest on the one who's soon going to depart - and that truth hit me like a ton of bricks, especially since my own grandmother passed away a few years ago from cancer in a retirement home.  We see it as impossible to maintain such an elaborate lie, but they pull it off due to their cultural differences and the tight-knit bond of family - even though they argue and bicker, they all come together when they need to most.

I feel the biggest revelation of the film also happens in the trailer, when Billi's uncle tells her that "you think one's life belongs to oneself.  In the East, a person's life is a part of a whole.  Family."  This truth hit like a ton of bricks, because we so often see our lives through the spectrum of our own reality, and don't often take the family into consideration, but especially in the East, everything is seen and filtered through the lens of family.  This is why the secret is kept from Nai Nai (and, as we find out, it happens more often than not) - because the family as a whole takes on the emotional toll, instead of leaving it on just one person.  

Awkwafina is best known for her comedic work in films like "Ocean's 8" and "Crazy Rich Asians," but here she manages to showcase a stellar dramatic side as Billi, the character we most relate to - an Americanized Chinese woman who doesn't understand the lie they're telling.  Through her eyes, she feels that Nai Nai needs to know the truth so she can plan accordingly, but in reality this would be the worst thing for her.  We see Nai Nai enjoying her time with her family, laughing and cutting a rug at the wedding, without a care in the world - and if she knew the truth, she wouldn't be so joyful.  This shows that the lie is actually good for her, and for the family as a whole because they can bare the brunt of it together instead of having it all rest on the elderly Nai Nai, and Awkwafina - as well as the audience - begins to understand that.

Even though Awkwafina is the lead in the film, the standout performance goes to Nai Nai, played by revered Chinese actress Zhao Shuzhen.  Nai Nai possesses some of the same qualities as my own grandmother, and I couldn't help but notice her in the performance, which only deepened my emotional feel for the film.  Nai Nai is stern yet sensitive, sweet yet snarky, and rules her family with an iron fist, but not in a power-hungry way, but rather offers advice through love.  Shuzhen's mere presence pulls us in - from her snow-white hair (my grandmother had the same hairstyle) to just a simple gaze or smile, and especially when she's enjoying time with the family, every moment she's on screen leaves an emotional resonance.  Shuzhen fully embraces Nai Nai's characteristics, and through most of the film we fall in love with her as her family does, but the final moments Shuzhen manages to delicately and gently reach into our chests and pull out our hearts, leaving us an emotional wreck at the end.   It's a raw performance that stick with you long after it ends, and seeing these two women act together is a true force or nature that has to be seen.

Lulu Wang writes the story so beautifully that it transcends the Chinese culture and really makes the audience feel like they're members of the family themselves.  We have a deep, vested interest in the story and are pulled in with every moment, and yet it doesn't feel forced, contrived, or convoluted - just a simple story of a woman's last days with the most important thing in her life - family.

The Summary:
Thanks to powerful performances by Awkwafina and Zhao Shuzhen, "The Farewell" tells a delicate story about an elderly woman's last days and the importance of family, while offering some light-hearted moments that offers a well-rounded film where we feel like we're a part of the family as well.

The Score: A+