JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Banana Splits Movie Starring Dani Kind, Steve Lund, Finlay Wotjak-Hissong, Romeo Carere Directed by Danishka Esterhazy The Story: "The Banana Splits" has been a children's programming show that's been on television for decades, and has particularly drawn the love of young Harley Williams (Finlay Wotjak-Hissong), who is completely obsessed with the show, especially Snorky the elephant.  For his birthday, his mother Beth (Dani Kind) gets him tickets to a show, and they attend with Harley's father Mitch (Steve Lund), older brother Austin (Romeo Carere), and classmate Zoe (Maria Nash) - and Harley is over the moon. However, what Harley doesn't know is that the show has been canceled, and this would be the final show ever.  This doesn't sit well with the animatronic entertainers, who are programmed to believe that the show goes on no matter what - so after the show they go on a killing spree that threatens Harley and his family, along with the...

Haunt Starring Katie Stevens, Will Brittain, Lauryn McClain, Andrew Caldwell Directed by Scott Beck & Bryan Woods The Story: Harper (Katie Stevens) is a college student who doesn't like to go out, as she's haunted by nightmares of her abusive father, but is currently in an abusive relationship of her own.  She's convinced by her roommate Bailey (Lauryn McClain) on Halloween to go to a club with two of their fellow roommates, where she meets nice guy Nathan (Will Brittain) and his friend Evan (Andrew Caldwell), who invites the girls to a haunted house, and discover that it's in the middle of nowhere.  Upon entering, they're not really scared until they move deeper and find that the terror is all too real, as they're hunted down and killed by the employees of the haunted house. The Synopsis: What happens when you do something so fantastic that you get recognized with awards and accolades that you've co-written one of the best horror movies...

Countdown Starring Elizabeth Lail, Jordan Calloway, Talitha Bateman, PJ Byrne Directed by Justin Dec The Story: A group of teenagers discover an app called Countdown that will tell them when they will die.  While many of them get years, one gets mere minutes, and after she leaves she ends up dying as the counter reaches 0.  Her distressed boyfriend is sent to the hospital after a car accident where he meets nurse Quinn Harris (Elizabeth Lail), and warns her about the app.  She doesn't believe it and downloads it, learning that she has three days left to live.  After other events begin to unfold, she begins to believe that the app might be real, and sets out to prolong her life.  She tries to get a new phone, but the app follows her, and she finds solace in Matt Monroe (Jordan Calloway), who also has mere days left to live according to the app. Things go from bad to worse for Quinn when she learns her younger sister Jordan (Talitha Bateman) has also...

The Current War: Director's Cut Starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Shannon, Nicholas Hoult, Tom Holland Directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon The Story: In the 1880s, brilliant inventor Thomas Edison (Benedict Cumberbatch) devises a way to light up the world using electricity through his direct current, which is limited and expensive.  Meanwhile, engineer George Westinghouse (Michael Shannon) devises his own electric current using an alternating current, which is cheaper and is more wide-ranging, but also more dangerous.  Edison and Westinghouse get involved in a war of words with the media, as each man tries to win the current war and be memorialized for inventing electricity.  In the process, young Nikola Tesla (Nicholas Hoult) imagines his own version of electricity, and turns to both men for assistance - and is picked up by Westinghouse.  The two men continue their war up to the Chicago World's Fair, where one man's electricity will be used to light up ...

Jexi Starring Adam Devine, Alexandra Shipp, Rose Byrne, Michael Pena Directed by Jon Lucas & Scott Moore The Story: Phil (Adam Devine) is your typical modern young guy, who grew up with cell phones and is now permanently attached to one as an adult.  He works for an Internet list company making up stupid top ten lists instead of his dream job as a journalist, and spends all his free time home alone with Netflix and ordering out.  When his phone breaks, he immediately gets the newest model, but discovers that its operating system called Jexi (voiced by Rose Byrne) is defective, and she seems to have a human side to her that sets out to make Phil's life better through constant berating and belittling, as she controls all his social media, bank accounts, and everything in-between. With Jexi's help, Phil expands his horizons and makes real friends, including Cate (Alexandra Shipp), who he grows feelings for.  The two begin to connect and date, and Phil fin...

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil Starring Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Harris Dickinson, Michelle Pfeiffer Directed by Joachim Ronning The Story: Ever since Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) reversed the curse she placed on young Aurora (Elle Fanning), the two have become surrogate mother-and-daughter, with Aurora serving as the Queen of the Moors while Maleficent is its protector.  Although she turned into a hero, Maleficent is still regarded as a villain in the human world, but this doesn't stop Prince Philip (Harris Dickinson) from proposing to Aurora, and hopes to bring both the land of humans and land of fairies together for good. Maleficent is angered by this union because she still has a mistrust of humans, while Philip's parents seem overjoyed at the thought - especially his father, King John (Robert Lindsay), who also desires peace between the two worlds.  Philip's mother, Ingrith (Michelle Pfeiffer), however, wishes to eradicate the fairy world and sets a tra...

The Friday Five:  My Five Favorite "Halloween" Heroes Since 1978, Halloween has become synonymous with one name - Michael Myers.  The iconic killer who dons a pure white mask has been slashing and stalking his way through several films, and although some of them aren't up to par, others have become horror classics.  No other franchise has been rebooted and ret-conned more than "Halloween," and it's included its fair share of heroes who've managed to bring down the Shape, and here are my five favorites. **THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!** #5  Karen Nelson Played by Judy Greer Halloween (2018)  In the most recent ret-conning, Karen is Laurie Strode's grown-up daughter who spent her most formidable years being trained by her mother to survive, and seems to resent her mother for doing so.  She doesn't seem to believe her mother that Michael has returned, but when the facts prove her right, Karen is no d...

The Addams Family Starring Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloe Grace Moretz, Finn Wolfhard Directed by Greg Tiernan & Conrad Vernon The Story: Offbeat monsters Gomez (Oscar Isaac) and Morticia (Charlize Theron) have been run out of their home by a group of humans, and decided to settle in a place no one would ever want to live - New Jersey.  They find an abandoned asylum on top of a hill and call it home, where they spend the next thirteen years with their daughter Wednesday (Chloe Grace Moretz) and son Puglsey (Finn Wolfhard), along with their butler Lurch and Thing.  They enjoy a life of solitude until Wednesday finds a balloon that flew up from the town below, and she desires to see what the world has to offer. The world, as it turns out, consists of reality home makeover host Margaux Needler (Allison Janney), who maintains a firm hold on the town of Assimilation that resides below the mountain.  Clouds lift and they finally see the Addams mansion, ...

Zombieland: Double Tap Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin Directed by Ruben Fleischer The Story: Ten years into the zombie apocalypse that's rendered America as Zombieland, hardened survivors Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) have formed their own sense of family and settled into the now-abandoned White House.  Columbus and Wichita continue their relationship while Tallahassee becomes an overbearing surrogate father to Little Rock, who wants to find love for her own.  The sisters depart and leaves Tallahassee and Columbus alone, and for months they continue living in the White House until they meet fellow survivor Madison (Zoey Deutch), who takes a liking to Columbus. Wichita returns and tells them that Little Rock ran off with a hippie named Berkeley (Avan Jogia) as they discover a new type of zombie that's almost impossible to kill, and they set...

Shaft Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Jessie T. Usher, Richard Roundtree, Alexandra Shipp Directed by Tim Story The Story: In the late 80s, John Shaft II (Samuel L. Jackson), his wife Maya (Regina Hall), and their infant son JJ survive an assassination attempt, and she convinces Shaft to leave both of them alone for their own safety.  As the boy grows up, he gets presents from the elder Shaft, but doesn't contact him and believes he's a deadbeat dad.  Now fully grown, JJ Shaft (Jessie T. Usher) is a successful FBI data analyst who's thrust into a major murder mystery, and needs help from an unlikely source - his father, who runs an investigative agency.  Together they uncover a drug ring that calls back to Shaft II's attempted assassination attempt and threatens their lives, as they turn to John Shaft Sr. (Richard Roundtree) to help solve the mystery and take down the drug cartel for good. The Synopsis: There's many times, especially when it comes to co...

Judy Starring Renee Zellweger, Finn Wittrock, Jessie Buckley, Rufus Sewell Directed by Rupert Goold The Story: Judy Garland (Renee Zellweger) was America's sweetheart, a child actress who started at an early age and gave us the iconic Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz," but her real life was anything but a fairy tale.  Forced at a young age to not eat and take pills, Judy grew up not finding happiness, four husbands, and an addiction to pills that kept her up every night.  With the money dwindling, she's invited to play a series of concerts in London, and at first she's apprehensive because she doesn't want to leave her children, but realizes that she has to in order to make money. In London she's taken care of by personal assistant Rosalyn Wilder (Jessie Buckley), and even then Judy serves as an unreliable performer as she's late for shows, doped up on pills and alcohol, and suffering severe depression.  Not even the arrival of her new love i...

Child's Play Starring Aubrey Plaza, Gabriel Bateman, Mark Hamill, Brian Tyree Henry Directed by Lars Klevberg The Story: The country is going crazy over its newest craze - the Buddi doll, a doll for children that can also interact with all the technology in their home and essentially make everyone's lives easier.  For store worker Karen Barclay (Aubrey Plaza), she only deals with Buddi returns as everyone's eagerly awaiting the release of the Buddi 2, while her son Andy (Gabriel Bateman) deals with loneliness and not having any friends in their pitiful looking apartment complex. One day a customer returns a defective Buddi doll (that was tinkered with by a Vietnamese disgruntled worker who turned off all Buddi's safety protocols), and Karen decides to bring it home to surprise Andy as an early birthday present.  When he comes online, Buddi seems a bit defective but Andy still keeps him, naming him Chucky (actually Han Solo, but Buddi heard 'Chucky...

The Curse of La Llorona Starring Linda Cardellini, Raymond Cruz, Patricia Velasquez, Marisol Ramirez Directed by Michael Chaves The Story: In Los Angeles in 1973, Anna Tate-Garcia (Linda Cardellini) is a widowed mother of two children - Chris (Roman Christou) and Samantha (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen), and works as a caseworker who's assigned to check in on the children belonging to Patricia Alvarez (Patricia Velasquez), and finds them locked in a closet.  She sets them free thinking its for their own good, but unknowingly allows them to be killed by the spirit of La Llorona (Marisol Ramirez), a vengeful spirit who's existed for hundreds of years who hunts children and drowns them so they can be with her forever after she drowned her own children as a human. After taking Patricia's children, La Llorona sets her eyes on Anna's, and begins to claim them as her own.  Anna turns to former priest Rafael Olvera (Raymond Cruz) in hopes of protecting her family and ban...

The Friday Five:  My Five Favorite "Friday the 13th" Heroes May 9, 1980...a day that forever changed the way we go camping.  That's the day "Friday the 13th" was released - a small-budget horror film directed by Sean S. Cunningham about a group of camp counselors being killed by a mysterious person that re-vitalized the slasher genre and eventually gave birth to one of horror cinema's most iconic and deadly killers - Jason Voorhees.  Spanning eleven films, Jason has claimed countless lives, but there's those who managed to escape his clutches and turn the tables on the seemingly unkillable fiend, and here are my five favorite "Friday the 13th" heroes. **THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!** #5  Chris Higgins Played by Dana Kimmell Friday the 13th Part III Very few people have faced Jason and lived, but even less has faced him more than once and survived.  Chris first encountered Jason as a teenager whe...