Forever My Girl

Forever My Girl

Starring Alex Roe, Jessica Rothe, John Benjamin Hickey, Abby Ryder Fortson

Directed by Bethany Wolf

The Story:
Eight years ago, Liam Page (Alex Roe) left his bride-to-be Josie (Jessica Rothe) at the altar in order to pursue his country music career.  Now a singing star, he returns to his small town after hearing of his friend's early demise.  Undoubtedly, he's not met with the same fanfare he's used to, as Josie and the rest of the town - including Liam's pastor father (John Benjamin Hickey) - have pretty much abandoned him since he did that to them years ago.

However, there's a little snag in the fact that Josie was pregnant, and now Liam's eight-year-old daughter Billie (Abby Ryder Fortson) is in the picture.  At first, Josie is hesitant to allow Liam to see her, but she relents and allows them to spend some time together, forcing Liam to face the reasons he ran off, and whether or not he could be a good father - and possibly re-spark the romance with Josie.

The Synopsis:
The Hallmark Channel has had a lot of success with their generic, bland romantic movies that all follow a similar vein - boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl falls in love with guy, I clean the vomit from the floor, and so on.  Nicolas Sparks has had a long career with his awful romance novels and movies, that try to blend the impossible with the romance.  Even though the concept remains the same, he tries to make it different, but as recent results prove, no one cares anymore.

It's the Frankenstein-style combination of these two schmaltzy outings that we're given "Forever, I Hurl" - I mean, "Forever My Girl," a bland, lifeless, predictable, lazily acted, cliched, grossly sappy, run-of-the-mill movies about lost love and rekindling a relationship that seems doomed.  You've heard it all before, you've seen it all before (I won't say you've seen it better, because they all mostly suck anyway), and you just sit in extreme agony waiting for the warm embrace of the black screen symbolizing your torture is finally over and this thing called a film has ended.

The story is so lazily written that it could've been done on a Blackberry on an airplane.  Man pursues his country music career, becomes big, goes back home, finds his former love, discovers a daughter he never knew he had, wants to be the perfect father and soon-to-be-husband.  Blah, blah, blah.  Plus, despite any attempt given to possibly throw in a unique twist, there is none.  Just the twisting in my seat in eager anticipation for it to finally be over.

The main actors are as typical as they come.  Alex Roe is the pretty-boy country singer (who looks a lot like those country stars being churned out lately) who is so extremely coddled it's crazy (he can't make coffee, doesn't know how to order anything online, and so on).  He performs as well as you'd expect him to - wait, you've never heard of him?  Well, neither did I.  Except for the fact that he was in "The 5th Wave" for about a hot ten minutes.  Oh, and "Rings."  Two films not well known for their stellar performances.  So he fits in well here, as he once again delivers a weak, dull, lifeless performance.

Then there's Jessica Rothe, who is criminally underused here.  She rocked the big screen in last year's amazing "Happy Death Day," but here she listlessly moves through the film in a Southern stupor, who repeatedly tells Liam that there's no chance of them ever getting back together - riiiiight.  Instead, she portrays the weak-willed woman so well it's nauseating.  She should've stood her ground and not allow this loser back in her life, but of course that's exactly what happens.  After all, he's changed!

The third actor in this trio of timidness is the child, played by "Ant-Man" star Abby Ryder Fortson.  With Rothe, Fortson is a terrific actress who will have a great career ahead of her, as long as no one remembers this one.  She's the shining light in the film, portraying a girl twice her age and intellect, who tests Liam in several ways to decide whether or not she'll call him "dad" - spoiler alert (well, not really): she does.  This is also the only part of the story that's not typical: usually, the child doesn't know the strange man who's suddenly hanging around is their father, but here she knows right away.  So, that's a plus I guess.  No overly-emotional climax where he reveals that he is indeed her daughter (thoughts of Maury Povich is running through my mind right now). 

So, yeah, again, it's painfully obvious how this movie goes, and the obvious direction it takes to get there.  Like walking down a straight road with no cars on either side, with the destination clearly in sight.  You just wish you could get there sooner and get it over with.

The Summary:
A film that would've fared better on The Hallmark Channel, "Forever My Girl" is a great study in the back of your eyelids, because it's a total snooze-fest, a sappy love story so predictable you could paint it by the number of sheep you count in your sleep during it.

The Score: D-