JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Video Game Films It has to be said that movies based off video games are not very good.  Even my "best" list is a bunch of mediocre-level quality films that are only passable because they're either too outlandish to believe, or they fully accept their own cheeky existence and runs with it. For a list of my worst video game films, check out: http://joemamamoviereview.blogspot.com/2016/04/worst2first-worst-video-game-films.html Meanwhile, here is my top ten favorite video game films, worst2first. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 Assassin's Creed When you get two Oscar winners (Marion Cotillard and Jeremy Irons) and two Oscar nominees (Michael Fassbender and Charlotte Rampling) in a video game film adaptation, you expect it to be at least tolerable.  Taking on aspects of the long-running video game franchise, "Assassin's Creed" focuses on a man's past ancestor who was an Assassin and pulls his knowledge ...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Animated Kids Films There's two ways to look at animated kids movies: as a way to distract your children for awhile yet feeling extremely pained for having to sit through a totally unoriginal, utterly laughable borefest, or as a way to enlighten both yourself and your children through the means of highly intellectual, yet entirely practical, films that teach a lesson to both adult and child.  In the last three decades, kids animated films have grown in popularity and excitement not just for the young, but the young at heart. Here are my top ten kids animated films, Worst2First. **There will be no spoilers** #10  Shrek Taking a unique spin on fairy tales, "Shrek" shows us that true beauty is what's on the inside.  Shrek - a lovable but gruff ogre - is shunned by society and viewed as a monster, yet he still sets out to save the Princess from the evil lord, even if it's just to get his land back.  Featuring standout...

Alien: Covenant Starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride Directed by Ridley Scott The Story: In 2104, a group of colonists are on their way to a new Earth-like planet in hopes of colonizing it.  When a neutrino burst kills several colonists, the crew awakens from stasis to fix the repairs, but in the process of waking up, the captain is killed.  New captain Oram (Billy Crudup) and the crew hears a distress call coming from a previously uncharted planet, and decide to investigate, to the dismay of Daniels (Katherine Waterston), the former captain's wife. Upon arriving on the planet, they discover it to be an almost utopian world, something very reminiscent of the old Earth, except there's no animals.  The lone inhabitant on the planet is David (Michael Fassbender), a synthetic who crashed there ten years ago.  Daniels is wary of David and has her own synthetic, Walter (also Fassbender), investigate his story. When mem...

The Zookeeper's Wife Starring Jessica Chastain, Daniel Bruhl, Johan Heldenbergh, Tim Radford Directed by Niki Caro The Story: In Warsaw, married couple Antonina (Jessica Chastain) and Jan (Johan Heldenbergh) Zabinski own and operate the Warsaw Zoo, and also reside there with their young son Ryszard (Tim Radford).  Fellow zookeeper Lutz Heck (Daniel Bruhl) - who is also a German - warns that Poland will soon be invaded by German forces at the start of the war, and the Zabinski's zoo is bombed and turned into a base of operations for German troops.  Heck saves the top breed animals from the zoo that were still alive and reveals that he plans on resurrecting long-extinct beasts through genetic engineering. Meanwhile, Antonina's Jewish friends fall under the oppressive thumb of the Nazis, and the couple agrees to hide their friend at their zoo.  Jan realizes how hard it is for the Jewish people, and together with Antonina decide to house more and more Jews, maki...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Alternate Reality Films "Alternate Reality" is a very broad definition, and could relate to a host of different aspects.  For my Worst2First list, I based the term "alternate reality" on a reality that's something outside the normal narrative - be it time travel, parallel universes, alternate futures, or events that occur outside the current definition of normal. So here is my top ten alternate reality films, worst2first... **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #10 Watchmen Based off the highly cerebral graphic novel by Alan Moore, Zack Snyder's "Watchmen" centers on a group of superheroes who have aided the U.S. in winning some of their biggest wars, especially the Vietnam War thanks to Dr. Manhattan.  Taking place in the middle of the Cold War in 1985, the United States is still under the leadership of President Nixon, and the superhero Watchmen are being hunted by a powerful evil that threatens to chang...

Sleight Starring Jacob Latimore, Seychelle Gabriel, Dule Hill, Storm Reid Directed by J.D. Dillard The Story: One year after losing his mother, Bo (Jacob Latimore) has put aside his ambitions for going to college to help care for his younger sister Tina (Storm Reid) by performing magic tricks on the street at day and serving as a reluctant drug mule for Angelo (Dule Hill) at night.  As the demands in the drug trade increase, Bo finds himself in danger as tensions escalate and he must use his talents to protect himself, his sister, and his new girlfriend Holly (Seychelle Gabriel). The Synopsis: Director J.D. Dillard's premiere outing proves to be something more magical than even he probably envisioned, as he took the tired superhero origin story to a deeply dramatic level, with a young, up-and-coming capable lead, a down-to-earth story, and a deeply personal and intellectual script (that he also co-wrote).  Blending movies like "Chronicle," "Iron Man...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Starring Charlie Hunnam, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Djimon Hounsou, Jude Law Directed by Guy Ritchie The Story: After an epic battle against the evil sorcerer Mordred, King Uther Pendragon (Eric Bana) is betrayed by his brother Vortigern (Jude Law), who wants to become King of Camelot.  Uther manages to get his young son Arthur away from the castle before he's killed by Vortigern.  Young Arthur washes up in Londinium where he is raised in a brothel and learns how to fight as he grows up, completely unaware of his kingly lineage. One day the waters around Camelot recede revealing Excalibur, the fabled sword wielded by Uther and something Vortigern desires.  When no man is able to pull it from the stone, Arthur (Charlie Hunnam) manages to pull it free.  Knowing he is the last of Uther's line, Vortigern sets out to kill him and gain control of the sword for himself, but Arthur escapes with the help of a Mage (Astrid Berges-Fris...

Ghostbusters Starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson Directed by Ivan Reitman The Story: Friends Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are parapsychologists who are called to investigate a haunting at a library.  They begin their own paranormal investigation company called "Ghostbusters" and are recruited by Dana Barrett (Sigourney Weaver) after discovering a portal in her refrigerator and a demon known as Zuul. As the number of paranormal activity increases, the Ghostbusters hire Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson) to keep up with demand, and soon learn that there's a connection to the increase in paranormal events and the mysterious Zuul - the coming of Gozer, a Sumerian god of destruction - which will bring about the end of the world. The Synopsis: "Ghostbusters" is one of those quintessential 80s movies, one of those that has withstood the test of time and is still hailed an...

Worst2First:  My Top Ten Psychological Thrillers While trying to wrap my head around what specifically a psychological thriller would be, I found that wikipedia has the best definition: "A psychological thriller is a thriller story which emphasizes the unstable psychological states of its characters.  In terms of classification, the category is a subgenre of the broader ranging thriller category, with similarities to Gothic and detective fiction in the sense of sometimes having a 'dissolving sense of reality,' moral ambiguity and complex and tortured relationships between obsessive and pathological characters." It is with that vein I came up with my personal top ten psychological thrillers, Worst2First. **There will be no spoilers.** #10 The Invitation One of the best psychological thrillers in recent memory, "The Invitation" is a small independent movie starring Logan Marshall-Green as Will, a man haunted by the death of his...