Major Theatrical Releases August 2016

Major Theatrical Releases August 2016

With summer drawing to a close, this is the time most movie companies dump their stinkers to the theaters because most people are either getting ready to go back to school or enjoying their last summer nights outside and taking vacations.  This month sees several obvious bombs, with a few glimmers of hope that August will go out with a bang.

Here are the major theatrical movies being released in August 2016.

August 5

Suicide Squad

With the exceptions of "Civil War" and "Finding Dory," this is the most highly anticipated film of the summer, and I have little doubt that it'll hold the top spot for the entire month of August.  In order to combat a supreme evil, the government turns to a gang of supervillains to take him down in exchange for clemency.  The main standouts will be Margot Robie, who plays DC's favorite villain Harley Quinn, and Jared Leto, who tackles the Joker after Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning take on the villain.

Nine Lives

*Cough*  Sorry, had a furball in my mouth.  So this movie might've done better back in the 80s when voice-over movies were all the rage ("Look Who's Talking" ring a bell to anyone?).  However, today's family is more intelligent in their moviegoing travels ("Finding Dory" and "Secret Life of Pets" offered family-friendly fun with a deep story and compelling performances), and this stinker obviously tries to play to the lowest common denominator, and will no doubt be a big ole bomb. Kevin Spacey plays your typical there-but-absentee dad who focuses on career more than family, who falls under a curse or something that turns him into a cat, and must show his family he loves them so he can be made human again.  Or something.  Not wasting my time anymore with this.

August 12

Pete's Dragon

Disney continues their adaptations of their beloved classic animated movies to live-action with Pete's Dragon, about a young orphan boy who befriends Elliot, who just happens to be a dragon.  I feel this could be a sleeper hit for the company, since its track record has been rather stellar with their live-action adaptations thus far ("The Jungle Book," "Maleficent," "Cinderella"), but coming out a week after "Suicide Squad" is...well...suicidal. Although it does boast a tremendous cast including Brice Dallas Howard, Robert Redford, Wes Bentley and Karl Urban.

Sausage Party

This summer has not been friendly to R-rated comedies ("Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates," "Neighbors 2"), but what about a R-rated comedy that's also animated?  This could show promise, especially since it includes Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Salma Hayek, Edward Norton, Jonah Hill, James Franco, Bill Hader and Michael Cera, and a unique story about a group of different foods who fear they could be eaten by their owner and hatch an escape plan, but it might be a long shot.

Florence Foster Jenkins

This true-life tale focuses on Florence Foster Jenkins (played by the ever-brilliant Meryl Streep) who has one dream: become an opera singer.  Her only minor flaw is that she can't sing worth a lick, but this doesn't deter her from achieving her lifelong goal of performing at Carnegie Hall.  While this would fare better during Oscar-bait season, I can't pass up a film with the darling Miss Meryl, who can do no wrong.  Getting "The King's Speech" vibes from this film, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it in contentions for some Oscars this year.

August 19

Ben Hur

Not even Morgan Freeman can save this obvious disaster, a remake of a classic tale of a prince who endures years of slavery due to his brother's treachery, only to return to extract revenge.  Remaking a classic film is always a struggle, but there's some films out there that should never be remade.  The Charlton Heston 1959 classic earned a record-setting eleven Oscars, and the only awards I can see this one winning are some Razzies.  Then again, this does come from the director of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," so I'm not expecting anything big here.  A more apt title should be "Ben Dur."

War Dogs

Based on the true story of David Packouz (Miles Teller) and Efraim Diveroli (Jonah Hill) - two young men who earned millions by serving as weapons traders for the government - "War Dogs" looks to be a great dark comedy with two of today's hottest stars, along with Bradley Cooper and Ana de Armas and directed by Todd Phillips, who also directed the stellar "Old School" and "The Hangover."

Kubo and the Two Strings

Kubo is a young boy who lives an idyllic life in Japan until his life is turned upside down with the appearance of a spirit of the past, causing him to go on the run from gods and monsters as he searches for a magical suit of armor once worn by his late father, a legendary Samurai warrior.  From the stop-motion animated studio Laika (who also gave us other beautiful films such as "Coraline," "Paranorman" and "The Boxtrolls") comes this fantastical tale of adventure, self-discovery and the power of family, featuring voice acting by Matthew McConaughey, Charlize Theron, Ralph Fiennes, George Takei, Rooney Mara and "Game of Thrones" star Art Parkinson as Kubo.  I don't see this being a big hit, because of its story, but it looks absolutely stunning and will no doubt be mentioned again come Oscar time.

August 26

Mechanic: Resurrection

In the sequel that no one asked for, trained assassin Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham) comes out of retirement to rescue his girlfriend (Jessica Alba) who has been kidnapped by traveling the world and killing three highly-trained assassins and making them look like accidents.  While I'm somewhat excited to see Statham back in action again, I can't help but cringe knowing Jessica Alba (who is very easy on the eyes, but a terrible actress) is playing his girlfriend.  Still, the action looks amazing as usual, and there's still a good supporting cast in Tommy Lee Jones and Michelle Yeoh, so it could be better than my bitter viewpoint is.

Don't Breathe

Three young people (one of whom is actually named Money so...there's that) decide to break into the home of a wealthy blind vet for some good ole-fashioned robbery, but things go terribly array for our three hapless anti-heroes as they discover the man (Stephen Lang) is a serial killer, and now they have to fight to survive.  I can already tell I'll be rooting for the killer in this one, as it seems the robbers have very little redeeming qualities, but they'll try to force it on us anyway (the female robber is only doing this to make a better life for her and her sister, kinda like the stripper working to support her way through med school).  Basing this off comparative movies ("The Purge" and "You're Next"), this looks like a big dud.

So there are the films being released in August 2016. 

Here is a list in order from what I think will be the best, to the worst.

 Suicide Squad
Pete's Dragon
Florence Foster Jenkins
War Dogs
Kubo and the Two Strings
Mechanic: Resurrection
Sausage Party
Don't Breathe
Nine Lives
Ben Hur