The Beast of XMoor

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The Beast of XMoor
Starring Melia Kreiling, Nick Blood, Mark Bonnar, Olivia Popicia
Directed by Luke Hyams
The Story:
In England, there is a beast known to terrorize the woods, known as a giant panther.  For American crypto-enthusiasts Georgia (Melia Kreiling) and Matt (Nick Blood), this is the perfect place to hunt him down and earn a bountiful prize.  With the help of local Fox (Mark Bonnar), the three set up camp in the woods.

However, what they discover is far more deadly than a panther, as the spot they claim is also the place where a serial killer has hidden his "trophies."  Now they're determined to track down the killer before he strikes again.

The Synopsis:
There are several issues going against "The Beast of XMoor," but not a whole lot going right with it.
-They couldn't even settle on a title.  It's either "The Beast of XMoor" or simply "XMoor."
-Speaking of not being able to make up their minds, the film doesn't even know what it is - is it a search for an elusive panther?  Or the hunt for a serial killer?  How about the hunt for the two creepy teens who set a car on fire and assault Georgia with no repercussions?  How about a little of all three?
-As far as the characters go, you wouldn't want to be with any of them when any sort of danger hits the fan.  Or maybe you do, because at least you can offer them up like pudding.
-Seriously.  The lead girl goes out as the killer is within viewing distance and lifts a lighted flare high in the air calling out in a loud voice for her boyfriend, whom she saw was currently unconscious.  Smart move there.
-How about a girl they rescue repeatedly tries to kill them?  You know, biting the hand that feeds you.
-The killer himself is as bumbling as a Scooby Doo villain, the only thing the film needed was a dog yearning for Scooby Snacks.
-How about the film makes little to no sense from start to finish?

Maybe I'm a little too harsh.  Or not harsh enough.  I think I'll go with the latter there.  There is very little to redeem such drivel, from the terrible acting to the ADD-style storyline to the horrible lighting, "XMoor" has very little to offer that's positive. 

Oh look, there's the panther!  Very majestic.

Okay, it's got that going for it.

The Summary:
"The Beast of XMoor" is a cautionary tale to not include too many subplots in an otherwise simplistic movie.  Think "Spider-Man 3."

The Score: C-

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