Ouija

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Ouija
Starring Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, Daren Kagasoff, Bianca Santos
Directed by Stiles White
Synopsis:
After the apparent suicide of her best friend, Laine (Olivia Cooke) decides to communicate with her dead best friend through the Ouija board with her other friends, and instead of communicating with her, they open a door for evil to come through, and now the friends are being haunted by an evil presence that resided in the house.  Now it's up to Laine to discover how to stop the spirit before she and her friends become the next casualties.

Review:
I want to play a game.  Let's see how many PG-13 horror cliches are found in this film...

Does it have...
-random interchangeable characters whose names you never care to know? Check
-said random characters being known for their roles ("main girl," "best friend," "sister," "boyfriend," "grieving boyfriend," "slutty friend")?  Check
-lots of jump scenes you see coming a mile away? Check
-random Spanish grandmother who inexplicably knows everything about spirits? Check
-obligatory cameo by Lyn Shaye? Check
-other friend dies and no one really seems to care? Check
-discovering an ancient evil? Check

-doing research on said ancient evil? Check
-finding a relative of former evil event in a psychiatric ward? Check
-finding a somewhat easy way to rid yourself of the evil? Check
-doing said thing and thinking the evil is gone? Check
-lots of people flying against walls? Check
-people getting dragged by unseen forces? Check
-finding out you really just made everything worse? Check
-having to re-do what you've done to once again be saved? Check
-discovering the power of friendship goes far beyond the grave? Check
-the ending? Check
-the REAL ending where you find out you pretty much failed at life? Check

So yeah, I pretty much gave everything away.  Sorry.  At least I saved you some time from watching this color-by-numbers film.

Summary:
"Ouija" makes me want to own a Ouija board myself - just so I can smack it against my head over and over to forget seeing this crap.

My Rating: C-

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