Ouija

-
Ouija
Starring Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, Daren Kagasoff, Bianca Santos
Directed by Stiles White
Synopsis:
After the apparent suicide of her best friend, Laine (Olivia Cooke) decides to communicate with her dead best friend through the Ouija board with her other friends, and instead of communicating with her, they open a door for evil to come through, and now the friends are being haunted by an evil presence that resided in the house.  Now it's up to Laine to discover how to stop the spirit before she and her friends become the next casualties.

Review:
I want to play a game.  Let's see how many PG-13 horror cliches are found in this film...

Does it have...
-random interchangeable characters whose names you never care to know? Check
-said random characters being known for their roles ("main girl," "best friend," "sister," "boyfriend," "grieving boyfriend," "slutty friend")?  Check
-lots of jump scenes you see coming a mile away? Check
-random Spanish grandmother who inexplicably knows everything about spirits? Check
-obligatory cameo by Lyn Shaye? Check
-other friend dies and no one really seems to care? Check
-discovering an ancient evil? Check

-doing research on said ancient evil? Check
-finding a relative of former evil event in a psychiatric ward? Check
-finding a somewhat easy way to rid yourself of the evil? Check
-doing said thing and thinking the evil is gone? Check
-lots of people flying against walls? Check
-people getting dragged by unseen forces? Check
-finding out you really just made everything worse? Check
-having to re-do what you've done to once again be saved? Check
-discovering the power of friendship goes far beyond the grave? Check
-the ending? Check
-the REAL ending where you find out you pretty much failed at life? Check

So yeah, I pretty much gave everything away.  Sorry.  At least I saved you some time from watching this color-by-numbers film.

Summary:
"Ouija" makes me want to own a Ouija board myself - just so I can smack it against my head over and over to forget seeing this crap.

My Rating: C-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Major Theatrical Releases May 2019

-
Image
Major Theatrical Releases May 2019 After the hype that is "Avengers: Endgame," May offers a massive collection of differing types of movies, enough to entertain everyone. Here are the major theatrical releases for May 2019. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE**  The Intruder May 3 Dennis Quaid goes from starring the family-friendly "A Dog's Journey" to playing a total psycho in "The Intruder."  When a young couple purchases a home from Quaid's character Charlie, they didn't realize it came with an addition - Charlie himself, who can't seem to let his old home go.  I don't expect any twists or turns in this tale, and this looks like a film better fit for Lifetime than the big screen.  Long Shot May 3 Charlize Theron stars as Charlotte Field, the current Secretary of State and who's running for President.  Seth Rogen stars as Fred Flarsky, a
Read more

Major Theatrical Releases May 2016

-
Image
Major Theatrical Releases May 2016 May is the start of summer, which means warmer weather, no school, more sunshine, and of course, MAJOR BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES! The beginning of summer opens with some extremely strong outings which will shape the remaining months to come, and if these movies are any indication, it's going to be a great summer at the movies! That being said, here is the list of films being released nationally for the month of May, 2016. MAY 6 Captain America: Civil War Starring Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie Directed by Anthony Russo & Joe Russo Synopsis (imdb.com): Political interference in the Avengers' activities causes a rift between former allies Captain America and Iron Man. Thoughts: Forget "Batman v. Superman," THIS is the match-up we've all been dying to see!  Based off the highly popular comic series, "Civil War" pits Earth's Mightiest Heroes against one anot
Read more

The Living Dead

-
Image
The Living Dead Starring Jessica Jane-Stanford, Paul Danan, Aurie 'Styla' Green, Hakan Hassan Directed by Fredi Nwaka What I appreciate the most about horror cinema is the fact that its the easiest genre for an up-and-coming director to direct, and provide a unique vision that's set apart from different genres - in horror, you can make anything if you set your mind to it.  Horror can also blend different genres within itself, producing horror/drama, horror/action, and even horror/comedy, which is the route taken by first-time director Fredi Nwaka's "The Living Dead" (also known in the U.K. as "Are We Dead Yet?") - it's not just a horror film, but also blends action and comedy and produces a worthwhile whole. Madison (Jessica Jane-Stanford), Barry (Aurie 'Styla' Green), Gavin (Paul Danan), Alan (Hakan Hassan) and Parksey (Bradley Turner) are a group of robbers who, after their getaway car breaks down, find themselves in front of a towering
Read more