Blood Runs Cold

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Blood Runs Cold
Starring Hanna Oldeburg, Patrick Saxe, Andreas Rylander, Elin Hugoson
Directed by Sonny Laguna

Winona (Hanna Oldenburg) is a famous something-or-other, and her publicist sends her back home to relax, in a very cold, dark, creepy house.  Bored within minutes, she heads to the bar where she reunites with her ex boyfriend Richard (Patrick Saxe) and his friends (Andreas Rylander, Elin Hugoson).  Together they head back to Winona's place, where they're stalked by a killer of some sort. 

This film was made with only $5,000, and you can clearly tell.  The gore is surprisingly effective, but the plot is so paper thin you could cut yourself on your finger with it.  We never know who the killer is, or even what he is (he gets attacked by several weapons a'la Jason Voorhees but doesn't die).  Either he's a zombie (he's seen eating entrails), a Jason-like ethereal being, or a human with a heck of a lot of body armor.  No one knows, and no one knows why he's killing.  There's no story, no legend, no tall tale, nothing.  The rest of the actors work with absolutely nothing, and it's clear they didn't invest any money in an actual writer for this film.

The title is strangely appropriate, because your blood will run cold when you see this film - because you'll die of sheer boredom.

My Rating: D+ 

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