-
Amphibious
Starring Janna Fassaert, Verdi Solaiman, Michael Pare
Directed by Brian Yuzna



While on some sort of fishing expedition, I think, a group of people come into contact with a gang of workers, one of whom is a young girl that has a psychic connection with an ancient underwater monster, or something like that.  She uses the creature to get revenge on her captors and the fishing expedition people try to help her as well. 

Seriously, I have no clue what this film was about.  It was so boring, the plot went everywhere, and the lead actress had the worst lisp I've ever heard, so much I couldn't understand more than half the words she said.  The creature itself would do SyFy proud, and somehow they had enough budget to make it 3D, which was highly unnecessary. 

Basically, this film can be summed up in five letters: A-V-O-I-D.

Rating: F

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Major Theatrical Releases May 2019

-
Image
Major Theatrical Releases May 2019 After the hype that is "Avengers: Endgame," May offers a massive collection of differing types of movies, enough to entertain everyone. Here are the major theatrical releases for May 2019. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** **DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE**  The Intruder May 3 Dennis Quaid goes from starring the family-friendly "A Dog's Journey" to playing a total psycho in "The Intruder."  When a young couple purchases a home from Quaid's character Charlie, they didn't realize it came with an addition - Charlie himself, who can't seem to let his old home go.  I don't expect any twists or turns in this tale, and this looks like a film better fit for Lifetime than the big screen.  Long Shot May 3 Charlize Theron stars as Charlotte Field, the current Secretary of State and who's running for President.  Seth Rogen stars as Fred Flarsky, a
Read more

Witch

-
Image
Witch Starring Russell Shaw, Ryan Spong, Sarah Alexandra Marks, Fabrizio Santino Directed by Craig Hinde & Marc Zammit Movies about witches are about a dime a dozen, and follow the same formula: typically set in a time period long ago (since now, fortunately, the stigma of witches has been lessened and the religious fervor has diminished), in a small Puritanical town, a girl is accused of witchcraft which spirals the town into a frenzy filled with suspicion, doubt, and murder until the witch is put to religious justice. While that's not necessarily a bad formula (Robert Eggers' "The VVitch" and Mario Bava's "Black Sunday" immediately come to mind), most films fall by the wayside. "Witch" is a small film that, at first glance, seems to follow the mold before completely shattering it in a second act twist that's daring, provocative, and works in a lot of levels, but could've been more pronounced if given a bigger budget. In the small
Read more

Special Review: "Midwest Sessions"

-
Image
Special Review: "Midwest Sessions" Directed by Mario Ricciardi Independent filmmaking is a fascinating concept, wherein the director and everyone involved sets out to make something unique, different, and go against the traditional status quo of what's defined as a "blockbuster." These films aren't usually seen by the masses and won't be included in the top ten highest grossing movies of all time, but they offer something those films don't: a heart and commitment by the people involved to craft something wholly distinctive that tell a story in their own way. Such is "Midwest Sessions," a local film directed by Mario Ricciardi that centers on the city of Youngstown, Ohio, and the captivating people who live there. Told in different vignettes that seem distinct and different from one another but coming together as a whole in the end, it's an engrossing film that utilizes its shoestring budget and gives great performances, decent effects a
Read more