You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah
Starring Sunny Sandler, Adam Sandler, Samantha Lorraine, Idina Menzel
Directed by Sammi Cohen

For anyone who thinks life is hard, try going back in time to prepubescence. When you thought your whole world was falling apart when your best friend kisses your crush. When you feel like your innocence is being lost in the process of becoming an adult. It's an extremely difficult time and the fact that people make it through that is no easy feat. Countless films have focused on this tumultuous time in a kid's life (and personally I think "Eighth Grade" does it best), and now it's time for Adam Sandler to get a chance at it. Thankfully it doesn't end up like the majority of his other Netflix specials, but rather becomes an endearing, poignant, emotional, and extremely well performed. I guess the last part shouldn't be a surprise because not only is Adam Sandler in it, but so is his wife and two daughters, so you feel the emotion from the start.

Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler) is eagerly anticipating her upcoming bat mitzvah party with her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) at her side. The two have been best friends since childhood and have done everything together, and it seems nothing can tear them apart - until Stacy develops a crush on Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman). Soon she begins hanging out with the popular girls to get to Andy, and after an embarrassing mishap she sees Lydia laughing along with Andy and the others, and the rift begins. It only intensifies when she sees Lydia kissing Andy, and this shatters their friendship. Lydia and Andy start dating and Stacy becomes more and more depressed, while also attempting to break up the couple and embarrass Lydia in front of the whole school, and these pranks intensify leading up to Lydia's bat mitzvah, where their friendship could be annihilated forever.


The Good:
Most people talk about how "You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah" is Adam Sandler's highest rated critical success, but it's not really due to him. He's hardly in the film, playing the loving and supporting father, but the film belongs to his real-life daughter Sunny and Samantha Lorraine, who both excel in their performances and immediately have turned into up-and-coming stars to watch. Stacy goes from being a supportive and caring best friend to someone who wants to destroy her former BFF for dating her man, going to great lengths to embarrass her and break her up, which seemingly is something a "mean girl" would do. Yet since we see the film through her eyes, it's entirely justified - until we hear Lydia's side of the story. Sunny has a very bright (heh) future ahead of her, and not just because of her famous last name - she really did an amazing job portraying the character.

Likewise Samantha Lorraine shines as Lydia, and the only shame in her performance is that we don't see events occurring through her eyes until she explains to Stacy everything she's done to her. Still, for the brief glimpses into her psyche through her stellar facial expressions, we feel for Lydia as well. She's not a "mean girl," and neither is Stacy, yet from a conscientious observer one can see how they both fit the mold. Still, due to their innocent performances, we end up just feeling bad for both of them.

Sandler himself does an amicable job as the father, and honestly he performs within his wheelhouse: he's embarrassing, knocking dad jokes out of the park, and ultimately is the supportive loving father he is in real life. Again, not hard since he's acting alongside his daughter Sunny and his older daughter Sadie (who plays Stacy's older sister who's equal parts supportive and good-natured teasing). Even Sandler's wife Jackie is in the film, playing (oddly enough) Lydia's mother. It's an odd choice, but maybe she didn't want a bigger role. The role of Stacy's mother went to Idina "Elsa" Menzel, who once again plays Sandler's wife after the critically acclaimed (and much, much darker) "Uncut Gems." She plays a bigger role than Adam Sandler in the parenting department, and you'll wish you had her as a surrogate mother yourself.

The film focuses on the ins and outs of the difficult time of child-pseudo-adulhood and how it's so monumental to their lives, when it seems rather unimportant to others. Stacy is going through the throng of emotions and, again, Sunny Sandler dominates. The emotions, the reactions, and the heat-of-the-moment decisions are raw and palpable due to her performance.

The writing of the film is also heartfelt and emotional, based off the novel by Fiona Rosenbloom. Everyone has gone through problems in their childhood and it's shown here in a practical, humorous, and heartfelt way. Stacy is looking forward to "the most important moment of her life" when it all comes crashing down on her, and it really hits home.


The Bad:
Much like other coming-of-age films, "You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah" goes head-first into the pitfalls of mediocrity in its trajectory. You know everything that'll happen before it happens, because it's something you've seen before under different circumstances. Best friends get torn apart over a boy, they turn on one another by doing pranks that escalate in their meanness, it all culminates in the "all is lost" moment before clearer minds prevail and the big make-up happens, and they're stronger than ever. It's not a spoiler to say that's how the film develops, because that's all ALL of those films develop. Thankfully we get two young talented actresses to pave the path, so it's not entirely terrible.


The Summary:
Proving nepotism isn't all that bad, "You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah" is a Sandler-led outing that proves the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in terms of talent, as Sunny Sandler takes center stage and proves herself a highly capable actress in her own right in a tender, thoughtful coming-of-age film.


The Score: A