Ghosted

Ghosted
Starring Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody, Mike Moh
Directed by Dexter Fletcher

Rumor has it director Dexter Fletcher consulted an AI machine and showed it films like "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," "Knight and Day," and "True Lies" and had it construct a script for his spy espionage romantic comedy "Ghosted," and after the AI tried to off itself, it finally churned out the script to which Fletcher immediately cast Chris Evans and Ana de Armas because of their intense chemistry together in "Knives Out," and in the end it all fell flat as the film itself is, as the AI wrote, a generic action film that's also a generic romantic comedy with two acclaimed actors who, for some odd reason, have absolutely no chemistry despite their long friendship. Of course I kid about the AI making the script, but after watching this almost two-hour snoozefest, you'd probably believe me.

Cole Turner (Chris Evans) is a hopeless romantic who becomes too clingy once a relationship starts, which usually ends with his girlfriend leaving him. One day while working at a farmer's market he meets Sadie Rhodes (Ana de Armas), and the two hit it off - but then Sadie ghosts Cole and refuses to answer his numerous texts after one night together. Prodded by his loving parents, Cole decides to go to London to visit Sadie at work, and is immediately kidnapped by an international gang of killers who are searching for the elusive Taxman who holds the code for the world-ending device known as Aztec. Before Cole is tortured he's rescued by Sadie - who turns out to be the Taxman - who berates him for following her to London. Yet now that the bad guys, led by Leveque (Adrien Brody), think Cole is the Taxman, Sadie uses him as bait to draw them out and retrieve Aztec before it could be used to destroy the world - all the while berating Cole for his clinginess and Cole berates her for lying about her work.

The Good:
Despite there not being any sexual chemistry between Chris Evans and Ana de Armas, the two have a long rapport together after appearing in "Knives Out" and "The Gray Man," so their friendship shows in the product. They work well off one another during their playful banter, and it keeps the film from becoming a total slog - only mostly one.

There's some really enjoyable cameos littered throughout the film, most of whom have close associations with Chris Evans, so there was that.

The Bad:
The story is a bland, generic, and typical story about a couple from totally different ends of the spectrum coming together through mutual survival and realizing that they really do care for one another through it. All the while there's explosions, car chases, and shootouts galore. It's something you've seen done better in numerous films, which leaves this one in the dust by comparison.

The film is almost two hours long, which is in all honesty two hours longer than it should, but let's just say for the sake of argument this deserves to exist, to which end it should've cut at least thirty minutes. As it is, it's a test of your endurance to sit through it without rolling your eyes to the back of your head for a quick snooze.

The fabled MacGuffin here is another generic trope for this genre of movie, centering on a mysterious canister that could unleash the end of the world, but is kept under passcode and key, which is why the bad guys need the Taxman because they think he (in actuality she) has the code.

The action sequences here are incredibly generic and simple, which goes against the talent of Evans and de Armas, who have both proven themselves time and again to be extremely adept to action scenes. It's like two newbies were recruited and didn't know how to actually fight.

Before Ana de Armas was cast, Scarlett Johansson was supposed to play the role, which would've been a lot better since her rapport with Chris Evans is legendary. The two have appeared in nine films together, and their friendship has spanned decades. Still, even if she was cast in the role, it would've been probably impossible for them to pull off a romantic couple since they're such better friends. Still, it couldn't had been as bad as this - could it?

I could go on about the bland state of this film, but I'm growing bored with it so I'll do what the film's title said to do.

The Verdict:
Despite pedigree like Chris Evans and Ana de Armas, "Ghosted" is a by-the-books generic action film that tries - somehow - to be relevant, but this is one that should be just left on read.

The Score: D