JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Machine Starring Bert Kreischer, Mark Hamill, Iva Babic, Jimmy Tatro Directed by Peter Atencio For anyone who's not into stand-up comedy, the name Bert Kreischer wouldn't be known to you, but for anyone who's a diehard fan of stand-up, he's one of the legends. Known as The Machine, his biggest claim to fame is the story he tells of when he was a frat boy on a school trip to Russia, where he gets in with a group of mobsters and end up robbing a train. Doesn't really sound like something comedic, but Kreischer pulls it off with his effortless charm, charisma, and self-defecating humor (he's also known for being shirtless, and rocks a dad bod like none other). The movie "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" was based in part on Kreischer's story, and now he's taking center stage in "The Machine," which is loosely based on his stand-up routine. Sadly, this proves that sometimes the transition from stand-up to big-screen isn't as sea...

The Mother Starring Jennifer Lopez, Lucy Paez, Joseph Fiennes, Gael Garcia Bernal Directed by Niki Caro For most audiences when they hear Jennifer Lopez, they think of her as a romantic comedy lead actress in films like "Marry Me," "Maid in Manhattan," and "Second Act," but in reality her acting resume is rather padded with different genres. Not only has she tackled horror ("Anaconda") and animated ("Home"), but she really hit it big with neo noir thrillers like "Blood and Wine" and "U Turn," along with action-packed films like "Money Train," "Out of Sight," "The Cell," and "Enough." Yet it's been since 2013 after the bomb of "Parker" that Lopez relegated herself to the romantic comedy lead, and now she steps back into the genre that made her a movie star with the Netflix original "The Mother." While it's a welcomed return, the film itself is just al...

White Men Can't Jump Starring Sinqua Walls, Jack Harlow, Teyana Taylor, Laura Harrier Directed by Calmatic We're almost halfway through 2023, and already we've been "gifted" with two totally abysmal, soul-less, cheap cash grab remakes of beloved - if not flawed - comedies of the 1990s. It started in January with "House Party" (which I haven't seen yet to be fair, but I'm about 100% convinced it's gonna end up on my bottom of the year list when I finally want to punish myself enough to watch it), and now it's "White Men Can't Jump," a remake of the classic 1992 film starring Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson and Rosie Perez. While that film wasn't exceptional by any means, it's held a longevity that's lasted the last thirty years (and even earned a standing ovation when the three reunited at the 2022 Oscars), and I doubt that in 2053, there'll be a standing ovation for the long-awaited reunion of Sinqua Walls and...

Kandahar Starring Gerard Butler, Navid Negahban, Ali Fazal, Travis Fimmel Directed by Ric Roman Waugh Gerard Butler is an actor who's typecast into the generic role of being a one-man army going against countless nameless killers and always finding a way to survive, and now it seems that he's accomplished something a little different. Back in 2013, he starred in the film "Olympus Has Fallen" where he's tasked with protecting the President from a terrorist attack at the White House, and in that same year the movie "White House Down" was released where Channing Tatum had to protect the President from - you guessed it - a terrorist attack at the White House. It's not that often two films that basically center on the same theme are released in the same year, but Butler did it again in 2023 with the release of "Kandahar," about an undercover CIA operative who must find his way out of enemy territory in Afghanistan with the help of his translator...

Book Club: The Next Chapter Starring Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen Directed by Bill Holderman While the majority of movies playing at the theaters are big budget action blockbusters, superhero films, sequels, and horror films, there's still a little niche market for those moviegoers who don't care for any of those, and most of them are the more "seasoned" people who've been around for awhile and want to see a film featuring actors of their own age doing something fun and carefree. 2018 saw "Book Club" hitting theaters, centering on four lifelong friends who come together to enjoy books and each others' lives, and it grossed over $100 million worldwide. A sequel was greenlit, but then the pandemic hit, but after it ended the four women returned for the next chapter in their "Book Club" franchise, and while it won't blow people away with its cerebral storytelling, it's still a little enjoyable film celebra...

Fast X Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Momoa, Michelle Rodriguez, Charlize Theron Directed by Louis Leterrier Growing up my mom watched soap operas, and they all had the same type of storyline: feuding families, love, betrayal, deaths, people thought dead coming back from the dead, evil twins, and the like. "The Fast and the Furious," now ten films into its twenty-two year run, is basically a soap opera for men. It has everything the daytime soap operas offer, but masked with strong masculinity, fast cars, and even faster with the rules to science, as the "family" we've come to know and love have done everything from get involved in small-time street races to aiding a government organization in stealing a drug lord's safe, driving through high rise buildings, send cars flying out of airplanes to land safely on the ground, and, yes, even send cars to outer space. Yet through it all the concept of family remains the franchise's core, and that family's life ...

Knights of the Zodiac Starring Mackenyu, Famke Janssen, Madison Iseman, Sean Bean Directed by Tomek Baginski American cinema needs to understand that making a beloved Japanese manga into a Hollywood action blockbuster will...never...work. "Dragonball: Evolution," "Oldboy" (the 2013 remake), "Ghost in the Shell," and even "The Last Airbender" (yes, I know Avatar isn't manga, but you get my meaning) have proven that the concept of turning manga into a movie always seems to miss something in the translation, and that tradition continues with the forgettable, bland, boring, lackluster "Knights of the Zodiac," which is just as generic as they come, filled with uninspired action sequences and CGI that might've worked well in the early oughts, but not now. Seiya (Mackenyu) is an underground fighter who's a street orphan with memories of his sister getting abducted and giving him a necklace resembling a Pegasus, but doesn't reme...

Rye Lane Starring David Jonsson, Vivian Oparah, Simon Manyonda, Karene Peter Directed by Raine Allen-Miller There seems to be a difference between big-budget romantic comedies and small, independent romantic comedies. The bigger budget ones, no matter how good they are, seem to lose that certain essence that makes romcoms enjoyable: they're somehow not as relatable, probably due to the top-notch cameras and overly polished stories that make you feel like you could never actually live through such an enjoyable event. The smaller independent romcoms have a harder time in a sense trying to convey their story due to their limited budget, their no-name actors, and their lack of publicity, but it's these that really show the true essence of the romcom: you don't just feel a deep connection with the couple, but their charm and personalities feel more realistic, like something that could happen to you one day. Films like "Lars and the Real Girl," "The Big Sick,"...

Peter Pan & Wendy Starring Alexander Molony, Ever Anderson, Jude Law, Yara Shahidi Directed by David Lowery Back in the day Disney was known for their animated catalogue of films, most of which were based on classic beloved children's novels like "The Little Mermaid" and "Alice in Wonderland," taking the darker overtones of the original and making it more kid friendly. In recent years they've gone through their back catalogue and turned their beloved animated classics into live action, which mostly have failed to re-ignite that sense of nostalgia. "Peter Pan" is one such film, a live action remake that takes away from the heart and soul of not just its source material, but the 1953 animated movie as well. Wendy Darling (Ever Anderson) and her younger brothers John (Joshua Pickering) and Michael (Jacobi Jupe) are spending their last night at home together before Wendy is shipped to boarding school the next day, and she wishes that she wouldn...

Ghosted Starring Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody, Mike Moh Directed by Dexter Fletcher Rumor has it director Dexter Fletcher consulted an AI machine and showed it films like "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," "Knight and Day," and "True Lies" and had it construct a script for his spy espionage romantic comedy "Ghosted," and after the AI tried to off itself, it finally churned out the script to which Fletcher immediately cast Chris Evans and Ana de Armas because of their intense chemistry together in "Knives Out," and in the end it all fell flat as the film itself is, as the AI wrote, a generic action film that's also a generic romantic comedy with two acclaimed actors who, for some odd reason, have absolutely no chemistry despite their long friendship. Of course I kid about the AI making the script, but after watching this almost two-hour snoozefest, you'd probably believe me. Cole Turner (Chris Evans) is a hopeless romantic who be...

Inside Starring Willem Dafoe, Gene Bervoets, Eliza Stuyck Directed by Vasilis Katsoupis One of the most difficult films to pull off is one that focuses solely (or almost solely) on one character (see all the "ones" I said there?), as audiences clamor for the action and excitement, and typically that doesn't come across well with just one actor on screen. Yet it's happened in the past due to a blend of terrific actors, a solid script, and a director who knows what to do with it. Ryan Reynolds's "Buried" was a vast departure from his typical comedic roles, but he nailed it as a man trapped, buried alive in a coffin. His wife Blake Lively also tackled the solo outing with "The Shallows" as she faced off against a predatory shark, and again it was compelling and powerful. Tom Hardy's "Locke" was just the actor driving in a car for the duration of the film, and it was a spellbinding effort. Sam Rockwell's "Moon" and Matt ...

Hypnotic Starring Ben Affleck, Alice Braga, William Fichner, J.D. Pardo Directed by Robert Rodriguez When Dr. Frankenstein made his iconic monster named after himself, he took bits and pieces from different body parts to create it, making it come alive even though it had the mindset of a child. The film equivalent of this is Robert Rodriguez's "Hypnotic," taking bits and pieces from other films (like "Inception," "Chinatown," "Shutter Island," "The Bourne Identity," etc.) and mashing them together to form an entirely new entity, one that's still unsure of its own existence and operates like a child - a film so filled with nonsensical twists and turns it pretty much unravels itself into a heaping mess by the end of it all. Detective Danny Rourke (Ben Affleck) has been investigating the kidnapping of his young daughter for a few years now, and even though her kidnapper was found, her body never was - and the kidnapper claims he do...

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 Starring Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Baustista, Karen Gillen Directed by James Gunn Back in 2014, the Marvel Cinematic Universe was one of the most popular franchises out there, having a slew of hits under their belt. It was at this time they took their first big risk by releasing "Guardians of the Galaxy" about a gang of misfit heroes who come together to save the galaxy. Before then, everyone knew the likes of Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and the Hulk - even those who never read a comic - but now the MCU was exploring new territory: only the diehard comic book fans even knew the names Star Lord, Gamora, Drax, Groot, and Rocket. A failure here would've put the brakes on the MCU as we know it, but thankfully audiences were drawn to these mavericks, earning a whopping $773 million dollars worldwide, and making them household names. The sequel in 2017 did even better, earning over $863 million worldwide, adding to their roster the likes...

Beau is Afraid Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Patti LuPone, Amy Ryan, Nathan Lane Directed by Ari Aster Joseph Campbell was a professor of literature at Sarah Lawrence College who came up with the concept of monomyth , the theory that sees all mythic narratives as variations of a single great story. Better known as the "hero's journey," his 1949 novel introduced the concept that shaped narratives going forward - from Luke Skywalker to Katniss Everdeen to Iron Man - that served as a blueprint for a hero's ultimate journey, from the reluctant beginnings to victorious end. Yet what happens when a hero's journey isn't as heroic as it should be? What happens if the "hero" isn't a hero at all, but someone lost inside their own mind of depression, anxiety, and repression? Would the journey be the same, or would it be a nightmarish duality of the more accepted journey? Ari Aster tackles that thought in "Beau is Afraid," and it turns into a three-hou...