Like a Boss

Like a Boss

Starring Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, Salma Hayek, Billy Porter

Directed by Miguel Arteta

The term "like a boss" is often described as a phrase used to say that someone does something very well.  Lebron James plays basketball like a boss.  Meryl Streep performs like a boss.  Even though this is a term of appreciation, I'm sure it can be used for the latter.  For example: "Like a Boss" failed to be a comedy like a boss.  Not only did it flop for a comedy, but it did so in grand fashion - like a boss, if you will.  So how did this supposed comedy go down the toilet so terribly?  There's several reasons.

The film itself tries to tell an important message about the value of friendship, which would've been admirable if it wasn't so convoluted.  Mia (Tiffany Haddish) and Mel (Rose Byrne) have been best friends since middle school, and even went on to start their own cosmetics company (as well as literally doing everything together, involving living together in different bedrooms but sharing a bathroom where Mel puts toothpaste on Mia's toothbrush).  Much like opposites attract, Mel and Mia couldn't be more different - Mia is brash, speaks her mind, and is incredibly independent and creative.  Mel, on the other hand, is quiet and reserved, sets out to be a people pleaser, doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy, and is highly sensitive of what others think of her.

As their business falters (they're in debt that Mia doesn't want to acknowledge, bu Mel knows all too well), they're approached by cosmetics mogul Claire Luna (Salma Hayek) with an enticing offer - she'll give them money to get out of the hole they're in for a stake in their company.  Mia doesn't want Claire's help because she doesn't want to be under anyone's thumb, but Mel worships the ground Claire walks on - much to Claire's devious ulterior motive: she wants to break up the friendship because she feels friendship and work cannot mix, as she nixed her own former best friend once their company became huge.  So as the rift grows between Mia and Mel, their budding feud threatens to end their twenty-year friendship and partnership, giving Claire majority shares in the company if this happens.

So how did this film fail "like a boss?"  There's several reasons:
1. The entire concept might've worked if it was done about thirty years ago, but since moviegoers have much more unique options, why would they see a completely by-the-numbers raunchy comedy where you can tell how everything turns out way before they happen?  Oh, the two best friends turn on one another?  I'm sure they'll stay bitter enemies forever.  The icy cold mogul mentions she fired her best friend years earlier?  Of course she'll never appear as a "shocking" celebrity cameo.  Everything about this film screams the 80s, but not in a good way.

2.  The film is supposed to highlight the importance of female friendship, yet the movie is entirely directed and written by men - in the era of #metoo, I'm surprised this ever got green-lit.

3.  The characters have absolutely no development at all.  Mia and Mel begin and end the film the same, and the viewers don't really get to know them in any important way to even care about them in the slightest.

4.  The film wastes the talent of its highly competent leads.  For a raunchy R-rated comedy, Tiffany Haddish seems oddly reserved, especially compared to her other work like "Girls Trip."  Rose Byrne is written into a corner as the stern and serious friend who's aloof in social situations and basically serves to have everything bounced off her.  Salma Hayek is reduced to a Jessica Rabbit caricature (that's even mentioned in the movie) where she comments on her fake boobs, walks in high heels, and dresses provocatively, so obviously she's the bad guy.

5.  The film also wastes the talent of its supporting characters.  Both Jennifer Coolidge and Billy Porter have proven themselves as comedic powerhouses, but both are incredibly restricted as well with the haphazard script, but at least Porter gets one moment to truly shine.

6.  The film was directed by acclaimed director Miguel Arteta, who directed Hayek in 2017's "Beatriz at Dinner," which was a thoughtful, intelligent film about social class, and it's truly shocking to see him resort to such middle-school drek.

7.  The editing makes the movie feel like a pilot for a television series that never got off the ground.  Each scene begins with a shot of an exterior where the events take place (such as Mel and Mia's house, their store, Claire's office, etc.), and you're just waiting for the laugh track to start - because otherwise it's as quiet as a church.

8.  The movie's jokes fall flat time and again, resulting in more groans than guffaws, and turns from a raunchy comedy to sentimental drivel but failing to deliver on either end.

9.  For only eighty minutes, it felt like the movie would never end.  Somehow it managed the impossible: create a time paradox where it never ends, and that's not a good thing.

I could go on, but I've already begun to forget about this movie, which is for the best.

Wasting the talents of acclaimed comediennes is truly a tragic thing, but that's just the start to why "Like a Boss" failed to be a comedy like a boss, serving as a movie that shouldn't even be watched when it eventually lands on a streaming service in a few weeks.

The Score: D-