JoeMama's Movie Reviews

The Secret Life of Pets 2 Starring Patton Oswalt, Kevin Hart, Jenny Slate, Tiffany Haddish Directed by Chris Renaud & Jonathan del Val The Story: Max (Patton Oswalt) and Duke (Eric Stonestreet) are living the dog's life in their apartment with their owner, but when she marries and has a baby, Max in particular becomes worrisome about the new addition - until he falls for him, and sets out to protect him from the world, which results in him suffering from constant fears.  To relieve his stress, the family travels to the country where they meet Rooster (Harrison Ford), a Welsh sheepdog who teaches Max how to be brave and see the world in a new light. Meanwhile, Gidget (Jenny Slate) is entrusted by Max to watch his beloved toy Busy Bee before he leaves, and she manages to loose the toy in the home of a neighboring cat lady who has dozens of cats living with her.  She turns to her feline friend Chloe (Lake Bell) to teach her the ways of the cat so she can infil...

Velvet Buzzsaw Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Zawe Ashton, Toni Collette Directed by Dan Gilroy The Story: Art critic Morf (Jake Gyllenhaal) is hailed as the god of the industry, whose review could make or break a career, and this world is littered with a slew of high-priced obnoxious patrons who either peddle the artwork or are pretentious enough to buy them.  Morf is friends with famed Haze gallery owner Rhodora Haze (Rene Russo), who's belittling her assistant Josephina (Zawe Ashton) for always being late, as she begins an affair with Morf.  One day Josephina finds her upstairs neighbor dead, and his house littered with thousands of original art paintings he did - paintings he wished to be destroyed in his will. Enamored with the pieces, Josephina takes them to her home where Rhodora praises them and tells Josephina that she will work with her to sell them.  As everyone around them admires the paintings, they also begin dying one-by-one, and it s...

The Friday Five:  Renee Zellweger Renee Zellweger has had a stellar career for decades, but most recently underwent shocking face surgery that almost makes her unrecognizable from her previous work.  She took some time off the big screen but is returning as the famed singer/actress Judy Garland in the biopic "Judy," and I decided to list my five favorite Renee Zellweger films. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #5  Nurse Betty In this quirky comedy, Renee Zellweger plays Betty, a mild-mannered waitress in Kansas who suffers from PTSD after a traumatic event and sets out to marry the love of her life - a soap opera star who plays a doctor on television.  As she tries to live out this fantasy, she's also hunted by a duo of killers who are completely inept at their jobs, resulting in a laugh-out-loud comedy adventure featuring strong performances by Zellweger, Morgan Freeman, Chris Rock, Greg Kinnear and Aaron Eckhart. #4 ...

The Peanut Butter Falcon Starring Shia LaBeouf, Zack Gottsagen, Dakota Johnson, John Hawkes Directed by Tyler Nilson & Michael Schwartz The Story: Zak (Zack Gottsagen) has Down Syndrome and lives in a retirement home because he has no family that wants to take care of him.  He's befriended several of the residents and caretaker Eleanor (Dakota Johnson), but he constantly tries to escape so he can pursue his dream of being a wrestler after watching tapes of The Salt Water Redneck (Thomas Hayden Church), who advertises a wrestling school he leads. One night Zak finally manages to escape and finds himself hiding on a boat belonging to Tyler (Shia LaBeouf), a crab fisherman who's led a very trying life and who's currently on the run from fellow fisherman Duncan (John Hawkes).  Zak tells Tyler he wants to get to the school, but at first Tyler wants nothing to do with him - until he sees Zak getting picked on, and decides to have him tag along as long as he do...

Rambo: Last Blood Starring Sylvester Stallone, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Yvette Monreal, Oscar Jaenada Directed by Adrian Grunberg The Story: Now living a retired life on a farm in Arizona where he raises horses, John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) still suffers from PTSD from his time in Vietnam, but takes pills and relaxes by riding horses with his surrogate daughter Gabriela (Yvette Monreal), whose grandmother Maria (Adriana Barraza) was befriended by Rambo.  Gabriela tells John that she found her real father in Mexico and, despite John's warnings, goes down there and ends up getting drugged and thrown into a sex slave trade run by brothers Hugo (Sergio Peris-Mencheta) and Victor (Oscar Jaenada) Martinez. Rambo easily tracks down the men, but is accosted by their gang and left for dead, until journalist Carmen Delgado (Paz Vega) saves him and tends to his wounds.  Rambo then turns to revenge as he sets out to kill the Martinez brothers - who knows where he lives af...

Ad Astra Starring Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Ruth Negga, Liv Tyler Directed by James Gray The Story: In the near future, Major Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) is working on a space station antenna when an unexplained surge occurs, plummeting him to earth.  He survives, and finds out that these surges have been happening all over the world, resulting in numerous deaths.  He's told by the higher brass that these surges are being caused by the Lima Project - a project started sixteen years ago in the hopes of finding life outside earth, but resulted in loosing contact near Neptune.  The project was led by Roy's father Clifford (Tommy Lee Jones), and Roy now thinks he might be alive.  He ventures out to the unknown of space to find his father and stop the surges before they eradicate humanity, and along the way learns more about himself and the family he thought he knew. The Synopsis: I've always been a huge fan of space films, because I find the very concept of ...

Downton Abbey Starring Hugh Bonneville, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter, Maggie Smith Directed by Michael Engler The Story: In 1927, the entire household of the prestigious Downton Abbey learns that King George and Queen Mary will be making an appearance and staying at the castle for the night, and everyone goes about preparing for their arrival.  In the process, secrets come out, grudges are met, gossip is heard and everything else in between. The Synopsis: There was an episode of "Bob's Burgers" where Bob and Linda win the right to participate in a LARP (live action role play) activity at the mansion of their favorite show - a show set in the past with royals and servants, and Linda is very excited to get the chance to play the role of a royal.  However, both Bob and Linda are chosen to be servants and they gather the other LARP players who were selected to be servants to overtake those chosen to be royals because of their mistreatment.  The episode mirror...

Brittany Runs a Marathon Starring Jillian Bell, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Michaela Watkins, Micah Stock Directed by Paul Downs Colaizzo The Story: Brittany (Jillian Bell) is an overweight twenty-something living in New York City with her beautiful roommate Gretchen (Alice Lee), and spends her nights drinking and partying and her days being late to work and nearly broke.  After a visit to the doctor, she learns that she's indeed obese and musts loose weight to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She interacts with her upstairs neighbor Catherine (Michaela Watkins), who invites her to join her running group, and Brittany begrudgingly obliges.  During her first two-mile run, she meets fellow out-of-shape runner Seth (Micah Stock), and the two become friends.  The three decide to run the coveted New York Marathon in a few months, and all of them work on achieving their goal.  Brittany begins to turn her life around - she looses weight, gets better at running, and finds...

The Nightingale Starring Aisling Franciosi, Baykali Ganambarr, Sam Claflin, Damon Herriman Directed by Jennifer Kent The Story: In Australia in 1825, Irish Clare (Aisling Franciosi) lives as a prisoner to British Lieutenant Hawkins (Sam Claflin), although she's technically been freed for three years.  He refuses to grant her the papers of freedom, and keeps her around to sing for his troops including his Sergeant Ruse (Damon Herriman) and to perform unspeakable acts on her.  On one particularly brutal night, Clare vows brutal revenge against Hawkins and the next day embarks on a perilous journey through the wilderness to find him. Needing a guide, she enlists Aboriginal Billy (Baykali Ganambarr) to assist in her travel, but both are wary of one another.  Billy hates the whites for killing his family, and Clare hates Hawkins, and both slowly use that hatred to form a bridge to one another as they begin to understand each others' plight, but as they reach the...

The Friday Five:  Brad Pitt Brad Pitt has been steadily performing for over thirty years, and has earned the title of one of this generation's most iconic actors.  With the arrival of "Ad Astra" this week, I take a look at my five personal favorite Brad Pitt films. **THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS** #5  Meet Joe Black Before "Endgame" delivered a slightly-over-three-hour epic, "Meet Joe Black" nearly met that same time threshold, but with a lot less action.  Brad Pitt plays Joe Black - a.k.a. Death - who comes for Anthony Hopkins' Bill Parrish, but agrees to let him live a little longer so Death can experience what it's like to be human.  The result is a terrific performance by Brad Pitt and everyone else involved, and you won't mind the nearly three-hour runtime. #4  Moneyball "Moneyball" finds Brad Pitt earning another Oscar nomination for his performance as Billy Beane, who served as ...

Apollo 11 Starring Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, Buzz Aldrin Directed by Todd Douglas Miller The Story: The Apollo 11 mission was more than just a trip to the moon - it was a revolutionary step forward in human ingenuity and perspicacity.   There's more to the story than just what was told in history class, and this documentary sets to show the events that happened right before, during, and after the momentous adventure to the moon. The Synopsis: "Space, the final frontier."  The famed opening monologue from "Star Trek" began in 1966, a few years after John F. Kennedy announced plans on going to the moon, but three years before it actually happened.  Space had always been a fascination, a mystery, an enigma - and for years humans wondered how they'd manage to make it out of our atmosphere and see what lies beyond the stars.  In 1969, three brave astronauts and a slew of nameless heroes on the ground worked together to achieve that goal, b...

Hustlers Starring Constance Wu, Jennifer Lopez, Keke Palmer, Lili Reinhart Directed by Lorene Scafaria The Story: Dorothy (Constance Wu) is an immigrant living in New York City, trying to support both herself and her grandmother, and finds a job at a strip club.  She's shy and nervous at first until she meets veteran Ramona (Jennifer Lopez), who takes Dorothy under her wing and teaches her the finer arts of pole dancing, and the two strike up a deep friendship. As the years progress Dorothy (who goes by Destiny) earns more money and continues her relationship with Ramona, until she gets pregnant and has to quit the job.  She gives birth to a little girl and misses her bond with Ramona, so she returns to the club and finds that Ramona has upped her game from pole dancing to trapping wealthy Wall Street CEOs and taking their money.  The two begin their con game, and bring in fellow strippers Mercedes (Keke Palmer) and Annabelle (Lili Reinhart), and the girls h...

The Goldfinch Starring Oakes Fegley, Ansel Elgort, Nicole Kidman, Jeffrey Wright Directed by John Crowley The Story: Theo Decker (Oakes Fegley) and his mother attend the Metropolitan Museum of Art when it comes under terrorist attack and is bombed, resulting in Theo's mother's death.  Theo's father Larry (Luke Wilson) left years earlier, so he is taken in by wealthy socialite Samantha Barbour (Nicole Kidman) and her family.  After the bombing Theo is moving through the rubble when he finds an old man named Welty, who tells him to take the Goldfinch painting and find his partner Hobie Hobart, and Theo eventually makes his way to Hobie (Jeffrey Wright).  Theo doesn't tell Hobie he has the painting, and finds himself drawn to Welty's niece Pippa (Aimee Laurence) who was also there during the bombing, and he strikes up a friendship with both Pippa and Hobie. Eventually Larry returns with his new girlfriend Xandra (Sarah Paulson) and takes Theo from New York...

Ready Or Not Starring Samara Weaving, Adam Brody, Mark O'Brien, Henry Czerny Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett The Story: Grace (Samara Weaving) is finally marrying the love of her life, Alex (Mark O'Brien), who's family owns the wealthy Le Domas gaming company, and lives in a supremely lavish castle mansion.  Alex's family members seemingly have a distasteful feel for Grace - Alex's brother Daniel (Adam Brody) keeps making drunken advances on her, his father Tony (Henry Czerny) obviously dislikes her, his mother Becky (Andie MacDowell) is the only one who seemingly likes her, his aunt Helene (Nicky Guadagni) sits stoic and glares at her, and his sister Emilie (Melanie Scrofano) is too drugged up to even make the ceremony.  The family is dysfunctional, but Grace wants their approval because she truly loves Alex. After the wedding, Grace finds out that the family has a long-standing tradition for anyone entering the family: a midnigh...