Unfriended: Dark Web

Unfriended: Dark Web

Starring Colin Woodell, Stephanie Nogueras, Betty Gabriel, Rebecca Rittenhouse

Directed by Stephen Susco

The Story:
Matias (Colin Woodell) took a laptop from a library lost-and-found in hopes of better communicating with his deaf girlfriend Amaya (Stephanie Nogueras).  One night he gets online with friends Nari (Betty Gabriel), Serena (Rebecca Rittenhouse), Damon (Andrew Lees), AJ (Connor del Rio), and Lexx (Savira Windyani) to play some games, when he begins getting suspicious messages from a man named Norah C, who claims he knows Matias took his laptop.

Soon the friends discover the laptop belonged to a mysterious man who delved into the dark web, participating in events where they kidnap girls and use bitcoin currency to torture them.  They find their lives at risk at the hands of the shadowy group, and as they begin to die one-by-one, it may be too late to just give the laptop back - now they demand lives.

The Synopsis:
In 2014, "Unfriended" hit theaters and was something original and unique - a film shot entirely from the viewpoint of a laptop screen.  It appealed to the Millennial generation, who spend countless hours online, and focused on a vengeful spirit seeking revenge for her suicide.  While it was new and different, it failed to deliver any real chills and thrills, with a conclusion that was highly predictable and tame.

With "Dark Web," the same concept is being used, but with more real-world ramifications.  There's no such thing as a vengeful spirit of a suicide girl killing people online, but there is a Dark Web - a part of the Internet so secretive it can never be picked up by tracking software, where the baddest of the bad guys conduct illegal activities such as murder for hire, kidnappings, and peepshows through unsuspecting citizens' webcams.  While this concept adds a more sense of dread to the concept, the execution was so poorly done that you don't really care about it at all - it's downright silly in its own premise, providing so many unintentional laughs you begin to wonder if the director made this to be a comedy.

To be an effective horror movie, you need people to root for.  In "Dark Web," you find yourself rooting for the bad guys to systematically eliminate these dim-witted Millennials who seemingly know the ins and outs of every technology, yet act like people in their eighties trying to operate an iPhone.  The main character is supposed to be this knight in shining armor - he has a deaf girlfriend, struggles to communicate with her, so decides to steal a laptop that has software that converts spoken language to sign language.  Instead, he becomes the biggest moron in a cast of fools, an insipid, entitled jerk who justifies stealing a laptop so he can talk to his girlfriend - even though she repeatedly told him that he was supposed to attend an ASL class, but dropped out after one session.  "The Originals" star Colin Woodell sure does play the douchebag role well, but for a film like this, it's something that becomes detrimental.  You're supposed to root for him, to see him succeed, but instead you want to see him chained up like those girls he finds online.

So too are his daft, entitled friends.  Betty Gabriel (who shined as the creepy maid in "Get Out") phones it in as Nari, the only friend in the bunch with at least a third of a brain.  Rebecca Rittenhouse plays Serena, Nari's girlfriend who you never want to have on your side when having to make a decision.  Andrew Lees plays a British person who of course knows a lot about the Dark Web stuff because...he's British?  Savira Windyani plays Lexx, a wannabe musician who...well, that's about it for character development for her.  Finally, Connor del Rio plays AJ, your typical tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist who...surprisingly...is actually right this time.  All of them serve as fodder for their eventual demise, and you just want to get on with it.

There was moments where the film could've been great, but then those moments puttered out sadly.  One kill in particular was very creative and ingenious in showing how those who operate the dark web can truly mess with unsuspecting people, but after that, the kills become more mundane and typical.  If each kill was as succinct and creative as the one (I won't mention it to spoil it), the film could've been something great.

Speaking of, the film only runs for 88 minutes, but to me it felt like watching all three "Lord of the Rings" films at once - the extended versions.  It was an excruciating time, as I watched these half-wits try to outsmart a group of highly intelligent hackers be as effective as a blind, deaf, one-foot mouse trying to avoid a cat at a cat show.  There's so many plot holes, things that don't make sense, and ultimate lame cop-outs you begin to loose count in the first thirty minutes.  Finally, when the film mercifully ends, you begin to wonder what's worse - the Dark Web, or "Dark Web."  The answer might not be so easy.

The Summary:
With idiotic characters, a tired shtick, and several nonsensical moments, "Dark Web" is merely a shadow of what it could've been, resulting in yet another uninspired found footage film you'll easily forget with hardly any effort.

The Score: D-