Worst2First: My Top Ten Unnecessary Sequels

Worst2First: 

My Top Ten Unnecessary Sequels

This week finds three sequels hitting theaters, and each one has something different to offer.  "Unfriended: Dark Web" isn't a direct sequel to the original, but includes the same concept of being filmed through the lens of a computer camera.  "The Equalizer II" is Denzel Washington's first sequel ever, so you know it's something he believes in.  Then there's "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again!"  Why was this sequel greenlit and produced?  Was there even a need for a sequel like this so long after the original?

This got me thinking about the most unnecessary sequels I've seen, and I've compiled a list.

So here are my personal top ten unnecessary sequels, worst2first (this time, "first" being the worst of them all)...

**THERE WILL BE NO SPOILERS**

#10

 The Last Exorcism II

When the title of the film has the word "last" in it, you definitely don't expect a sequel.  The first film was a thrilling, cringe-inducing found footage film of a professional exorcist who tries to exercise a demon out of a young innocent girl, and the ending was shocking and unexpected.  No one asked for a sequel, but that's what happened - and gone were the found footage format, unique storytelling, and anything remotely interesting.  It turned into a typical by-the-books possession film, and even though Ashley Bell did a tremendous job, it's still not even remotely necessary.

#9

 Zoolander No. 2

While the first film wasn't anything spectacular, it turned into a cult classic with many memorable lines and an enjoyable re-watchable value due to its total stupidity (and firmly accepting it).  This unnecessary sequel is also stupid, but here the film doesn't seem to be in on the joke.  Here, former model Derek Zoolander must save pop stars from a killer, or something like that, with the help of former foe Hansel.  The result is a film devoid of catchy lines, humor, or even memorable moments (except for Benedict Cumberbatch's character).

#8

 300: Rise of an Empire

After the original "300" put both Zack Snyder and Gerard Butler on the map, it looked like it was a one-and-done, especially after the ending.  Yet somehow, someway, a sequel was managed to be made.  The result is a film that's dated (especially since it used the same effects as the first, which was a technical marvel when it was released in 2007...in 2014, not so much), filled with over-the-top gore, a story that didn't need to be told, and a wholly unmemorable lead (who even knows the actor's name?)  The only saving grace is the ever-amazing Eva Green, but not even she can save this overly bloated CGI mess - even though it did gross a lot of money and greenlit a third (?) sequel in the future.

#7

 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

I could've went with either prequel or sequel, but I chose the prequel because it didn't include Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, but rather two relative unknown actors who tried their hardest to imitate them.  While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, here it was a feature-length disaster, as no one even cared how the two numbskulls met, nor the incredibly formulaic story involving a mean ole principal (played, of course, by Eugene Levy) who want to use the friends' mental handicap to his own advantage.

#6

 Evan Almighty

Steve Carell was huge a few years ago after the success of "The Office," and even though his stock has changed (including a turn to more dramatic roles including his Oscar-nominated performance in "Foxcatcher"), it seemed like a good idea to give his one-off character from the successful "Bruce Almighty" his own film, but that wasn't the case.  The result is an unfunny sequel about a modern-day Noah who builds an ark because a flood is coming, but there wasn't even a drizzle of green at the box office - and the fact that this was one of the most expensive comedies ever made didn't help Carell's reputation.

#5

 Son of the Mask

Before Tom Hiddleston made the Norse God of Mischief a household name, Alan Cumming managed to tarnish the name of Loki in "Son of the Mask."  Say what you want about Jim Carrey, he knows when to quit (hence why he's not included on this list after three of his former films found sequels without him), as for this pointless, dull, stupid, insipid, unfunny sequel finds Jamie Kennedy (whoever thought he could be a bankable star hopefully got fired after this) as a man whose dog finds the mask of Loki, becoming a little mischievous scamp along with his infant son.  The effects...if you call them that...were even outdated when the film came out, and only get worse as time goes on, as does the watch-ability of this dreck.   

#4

 Cars 2

Pixar was the film company that could do no wrong, gifting us films like "Toy Story," "Up," and "WALL-E," but had their first big misstep with "Cars 2," a film that even Disney acknowledged was made simply to sell more toys.  Something that would've worked better on the Disney Channel, "Cars 2" centers on Lightning McQueen's dimwit friend Mater as he finds himself involved in international espionage.  While Mater works well as a sidekick, when he's front and center, his jokes and humor get dull quickly.

#3

 Grease 2

The original "Grease" was a timeless classic, filled with memorable songs, dance numbers, and the electric chemistry of John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.  The sequel cast unknown actors (including future leading lady Michelle Pfeiffer in one of her earliest roles) and tries to re-create that spark, but instead it was a dud.  No one remembers any of the songs, the plot was as simplistic as they come (Pfeiffer falling for Sandy's cousin, generic as anything), and the dance numbers weren't anything spectacular. 

#2

 Caddyshack II

The original film was a classic 80s raunchy comedy, and one that's still hailed as one of the best comedies of all time.  To even attempt to re-create that magic was cinematic suicide, and that's what "Caddyshack II" was.  Director Harold Ramis actually walked off the set and attempted to have his name removed from the project entirely.  Rodney Dangerfield threw the script in the garbage, and Bill Murray sued for the usage of the gopher puppet that he inspired.  Only Chevy Chase returned for a glorified cameo, and several cast members still say "Caddyshack II" was their greatest regret.  Not even Robert Stack and his perfect deadpan humor could save this disaster, which is almost unwatchable.

#1

 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

When it was announced that Harrison Ford would reprise his iconic role of Indiana Jones nearly twenty years later, some people were excited while others were obviously wary - how could he still perform those stunts at his age?  Oddly enough, that's the least of the concerns after seeing "Crystal Skull," as the entire thing was a huge mess.  The idea of aliens and the mystical crystal skulls of legend tarnished the legacy of Indiana Jones, and the addition of Shia LaBeouf as a future protege fell flat on its head, not to mention wasting the talent of the always great Cate Blanchett.  If you want to see how terribly Spielberg and Lucas abused their cash cow, watch the "South Park" episode that deals with it - it's funny, and also oddly true.