The Great Wall

The Great Wall

Starring Matt Damon, Jing Tian, Pedro Pascal, Willem Dafoe

Directed by Yimou Zhang

The Story:
During the Song Dynasty, a group of mercenaries are in search of black powder when they come across a gang of bandits, and only a few survive.  They stay the night at a cave where a creature attacks them, and only William (Matt Damon) and Tovar (Pedro Pascal) are left alive after William kills the creature.  They search for answers and end up at the Great Wall, where they are taken prisoner by General Shao and Commander Lin (Jing Tian).

They tell William and Tovar that they're protecting the Chinese capital from an army of alien beings who communicate telepathically and the Wall is the last line of defense.  If they get through they'll destroy the capital and nothing will stop them from taking over the world.  William - who is out to seek his own form of redemption - agrees to help, while Tovar only wants the black powder the army is keeping at the Wall. 

The Synopsis:
Yimou Zhang is one of China's most acclaimed directors, gracing screens with films such as "House of Flying Daggers" and "Hero," and directing the Beijing opening ceremonies at the Olympics, which was a wonder to behold.  He's a visionary, revolutionary and extremely unique director who finally directed his first American movie, which is also the most expensive movie made in China.

Unfortunately, it wasn't as stellar as his name suggests.  While it does have some truly breathtaking views and unique camerawork and cinematography, it's all pretty decorations covering a box that inside holds a steaming pile of crap.  This doesn't even have to do with the fact that the film features a white American in the lead, but rather it's just a complete jumble of a mess that doesn't make a lick of sense and tries to combine history and science fiction in a combination that doesn't mesh at all.

I would understand if what they were trying to keep out were dragons or something like that, because it would tie in nicely with Chinese culture and history.  However, having it be an army of alien beings who communicate telepathically is just silly at the premise, and unfortunately the film had enough integrity to not make them as laughable as they seem on the outside, so you can't even enjoy the film on a campy level.  It takes itself too seriously to be funny, but the entire theme is so funny it can't be taken seriously. 

Matt Damon does alright a William, a man less a knight in shining armor and more a rogue rapscallion who is looking to redeem himself, and he's amazing with the bow and arrow. The Chinese army look more fitting for extreme cosplay enthusiasts than actual soldiers, especially Jing Tian, who looks more like she's auditioning for the Blue Ranger in the new "Power Rangers" movie than starring in this odd history piece.  Pedro Pascal serves as the comedic sidekick to William, and follows a long, long...terribly long...line of like-minded characters in other movies who are more annoying than endearing.  Then there's the baffling Willem Dafoe, who plays a man kept at the Wall for trying to steal black powder from them a decade earlier, and I don't really know the significance of his character at all.

Besides the cinematography, the action is pretty amazing and beautiful to see, especially the women who bungee jump off the Wall to take out the aliens climbing the sides like the mass of zombies did in "World War Z."  The Asian culture has always intrigued me, and I've always enjoyed hearing about how well-coordinated their armies have been throughout history, and "The Great Wall" does that justice by having them so finely tuned that it amazed even William, who has seen his share of wars.  Once again, however, this is a small positive in a film filled with deep negatives.

Oh, and William and Tovar take down one of the creatures by having Tovar hold a red cape out like a Spanish matador, causing the alien creature to charge him and having William behind him take the creature out with an arrow.  I still have no idea why that was included in the movie.

Then again, I don't know why the movie was made in the first place.

The Summary:
Despite having an acclaimed visionary director and stunning visuals, "The Great Wall" fails to deliver a cohesive story, and is too serious for its own good.

The Score: C