Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Starring Joe Alwyn, Kristen Stewart, Chris Tucker, Garrett Hedlund

Directed by Ang Lee

The Story:
In 2004, an iconic picture of the War in Iraq propelled the Bravo team to national stardom, especially young Billy Lynn (Joe Alwyn).  Upon returning from deployment, the men are treated as superstars and are invited to be a part of the Thanksgiving halftime show in Dallas.

As Billy adjusts to civilian living again, he's still haunted by the events of that day that led to the death of his officer, Shroom (Vin Diesel).  As he struggles with obvious PTSD, his sister Kathryn (Kristen Stewart) doesn't want Billy to go back to Iraq and tries to find a way to get him honorably discharged.  As the halftime show looms closer, Billy learns about true courage, brotherhood and the importance of life.

The Synopsis:
Ang Lee is one of the most prolific directors of our time.  He's churned out critical blockbusters such as "Sense and Sensibility," "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," "Brokeback Mountain" and "Life of Pi," but he's also known for that abysmal "Hulk" movie as well.  Even though he's done a lot of thought-provoking, marvelously shot pieces of cinema, "Billy Lynn" doesn't fall into that category.  Instead, it's a razor-thin tale with wooden, one-note characters and possibly one of the worst "cameos" in film history.

First there's the story.  Billy Lynn's group is hailed as heroes for an image caught on a reporter's camera of Lynn rushing into the thick of battle to protect his commanding officer.  Why the entire team is treated as celebrities is something beyond me, as it was Lynn's story that drew national attention.  As Billy reminisces about that day, it becomes clear that the truth is far less interesting than what the world thinks happened, and that traumatizes Billy, but he's also very dutiful to his country and serving. 

While at the Texas stadium, he runs into rich, war-loving Texans who give him and his team weak platitudes and superficial praise, and his team knows they don't care about them, but about the money the war effort could bring in.  Everyone around the team is incredibly fake and disingenuous, from their PR person Albert (Chris Tucker) who promises them each $100,000 for movie rights, to the owner of the Dallas football team (Steve Martin) who only wants to exploit them for profit; from the forgettable Dallas organization worker who screws everything up (including not getting Billy his Aspirin until way after he needed it), to the halftime show director who treats the men as nothing more than chess pieces.  It's obvious that Lee is producing a film where he makes Americans out to be people who say they care about the troops, but really only care about themselves.

The halftime show itself is a laughable mess, in the most unintentional of ways.  Destiny's Child performed at halftime, but all we see of them are their backs - this is where I put "cameo" in quotations - because it's obvious that Beyonce and the others are having nothing to do with this movie.  As they sing, the camera pans out far away enough so you can't see their faces, and there's a particularly cringe-worthy scene where the men are waiting to go on, and Beyonce comes backstage to get a scarf, and you only see her hair and the men staring at her.  It would've been better to not have them at all, but instead Lee tried to throw them in but just ended up to be a terrible product placement.

Lee said this film was revolutionary, and that's because it's the first film to be shot in a 120 frame rate.  It was supposed to give the film an incredibly crisp, clear picture (unlike most films, which are filmed at only a 24 frame rate).  However, since the majority of theaters in America aren't capable of sustaining such a high rate of film, it became more a talking point than an actual part of the film, and we're left with the traditional 24 frame rate film that leaves us wondering why this was so revolutionary, especially after Lee's last brilliant film "Life of Pi" which earned him the Best Director Oscar.  There will be absolutely no Oscar buzz about this film, however, as it serves as a lesser war story against giants (such as "Hacksaw Ridge").

The actors in the film are just as bad as the story itself.  Kristen Stewart - I have no idea how she finds work - does her traditional stoner face/solemn look the whole movie and speaks barely above a whisper.  Vin Diesel is the strangest officer in military history as before they go into battle, he goes up to each of the soldiers, puts a hand on their shoulder and says "I love you."  I went to see this film with a friend who was in the military, and he absolutely laughed that off as total nonsense.  Garrett Hedlund probably spent his time preparing for the role by watching every single war movie ever made and churned out a performance as Bravo's team leader like that of any generic military leader.

Steve Martin seems oddly placed here as the Dallas football owner who is an easy caricature of every oil loving, money grubbing Texan you can think of.  Even Chris Tucker - who returned out of retirement after four years - fails to make any visceral impact but rather plays the role of a PR person as every other PR person has ever played it - by spending time on the phone trying to broker deals and acting like he's looking out for the best interest of his customers.

The one actor I really can't fault is Joe Alwyn, who played the title character.  Unlike the other actors around him, he's never starred in a big-budget film, and to take on the title role was daring, brave, and honorable - even if he exhued about as much emotion as Kristen Stewart on the can. 

Possibly the best actor in the film was Elizabeth Chestang.  Don't know who she is?  Neither do I, but she was Beyonce's back throughout the film.  Never spoke a word, never saw her face, but she was surely memorable - for all the wrong reasons.

One final side note to how terrible this film was: my friend and I saw it on Friday night, opening night, during the busiest time the theater had.  And we were the only two people in the theater.

The Summary:
Trying to be something it's not, "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk" was more a weak crawl than a confident walk, and will become one of those totally forgotten works you only wonder about later how it was ever made in the first place.

The Score: C-