JoeMama's Movie Reviews

Sausage Party Starring Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Salma Hayek Directed by Greg Tiernan & Conrad Vernon The Story: At a supermarket called Shopwell's, the food believe that the "gods" (humans) take them into the Great Beyond after leaving the store, so they all strongly desire to be chosen.  Frank (Seth Rogen) the sausage and Brenda (Kristen Wiig) the bun are eagerly awaiting to be chosen so they can consummate their relationship, since they're both sealed in separate packages.  When they're finally chosen during the Fourth of July, they're over the moon, until a returned honey mustard (Danny McBride) tells them that the Great Beyond is a lie, and when you leave the store you die.  Frank and Brenda get left behind in the store and they go in search of Firewater (Bill Hader) who might know the truth, traveling with Sammy Bagel Jr. (Edward Norton) - a Jewish bagel - Kareem Abdul Lavash (David Krumholtz) - a Middle Eastern lavash - and T...

Baskin Starring Gorkem Kasal, Ergun Kuyucu, Muharrem Bayrak, Fatih Dokgoz Directed by Can Evrenol The Story: Five police officers in Turkey answer a call for backup in a mysterious town, and when they arrive on the scene they don't see anyone around.  Upon investigation, they discover they've stumbled into a deadly cult participating in a Black Mass that seems to take place in Hell itself. The Synopsis: Some of the most intense horror films have come from overseas.  "Audition," "Martyrs," "Inside," "Frontier(s)," "A Serbian Film" and "The Babadook" show how different cultures and countries can produce some incredibly unnerving tales of terror.  Now it's Turkey's turn as they've produced "Baskin," a tale that blends "Hellraiser" and "Silent Hill" into a tour into the deepest depths of depravity and Hell itself, forcing you as the viewer to go along for the ride. ...

Major Theatrical Releases September 2016 Welcome to the start of the fall film season, where superhero action flicks and movies featuring explosions are replaced with Oscar-caliber performances, true-life tales and uplifting stories of love - and also some animation, decades-old sequels and a unique filming experience.  Here are the major theatrical movies being released in September 2016. (Dates are subject to change) September 2 Morgan "Morgan" looks like a mixture of "Ex Machina" and "Splice," and once again delves into the idea that we as humans should never play God.  Here, it looks like a company has manufactured an artificially created human being with superpowers, and like any creation who feels trapped, rages against their captors.  Produced by Ridley Scott's ("Alien") production company and directed by his son Luke, this sci-fi film has some strong pedigree behind it, plus a stellar cast in front of the came...

Mechanic: Resurrection Starring Jason Statham, Jessica Alba, Tommy Lee Jones, Michelle Yeoh Directed by Dennis Gansel The Story: Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham) is one of the best assassins in the world, making his kills look like accidents.  He's been in retirement in Brazil for a few years until he's brought out of hiding by Crain (Sam Hazeldine) and his men, who want Bishop to kill three of his competitors.  Bishop refuses and flees to Thailand to stay with his friend Mei (Michelle Yeoh).  While there, he meets Gina (Jessica Alba), who was forced by Crain to get close to Bishop or he would kill the kids at the orphanage Gina works at.  When Gina gets taken, Bishop agrees to do the kills to ensure her safety, and comes out of retirement to do what he does best. The Synopsis: When someone close is kidnapped, a killer-for-hire is forced to kill three elite targets.  Thus was the story of the Jason Statham/Clive Owen thriller "Killer Elite," and sinc...

Kubo and the Two Strings Starring Art Parkinson, Charlize Theron, Matthew McConaughey, Ralph Fiennes Directed by Travis Knight The Story: When he was born, Kubo (Art Parkinson) was a target of his evil grandfather, the Moon King (Ralph Fiennes), who wanted his eyes.  After taking one, his mother (Charlize Theron) spirits Kubo away with her magic, and the two live a life of exile.  As Kubo grows up, he must take care of his often comatose mother, as well as remain indoors at night, for that's when the Moon King and Kubo's aunts (Rooney Mara) can find him. Kubo goes to the town everyday to tell tales of heroism and bravery through living origami he brings to life by strumming his magical shamisen (a traditional three-stringed Japanese instrument) that delights old and young alike.  He's told that, at night, the townspeople remember and talk to those who passed on, and Kubo wants to stay to talk to his deceased father, Hanzo, who was a brave samurai warrior....

Worst2First:  My Most Anticipated Films Fall 2016 As summer comes to a close, we say farewell to the big-budget action epics and superhero showdowns and eagerly anticipate the arrival of the award-bait dramatic movies that typically fill in the fall season.  There's several films to look forward to, and I picked ten of the films I'm most excited to see this fall (which, to my definition, falls between September-November).  **There will be no spoilers since the films aren't actually released yet. Also, the release dates are subject to change.** #10 Snowden September 16 Acclaimed (and often controversial) director Oliver Stone brings to the big screen the true story of Edward Snowden, a former NSA employee who leaked thousands of classified documents to the general public which led him into exile, and is either seen as a hero or a traitor depending on who you talk to.  No doubt this will raise conversations and even a possible Oscar nominati...

Ben-Hur Starring Jack Huston, Toby Kebbell, Morgan Freeman, Rodrigo Santoro Directed by Timur Bekmambetov The Story: Jewish prince Judah Ben-Hur (Jack Huston) and his adopted Roman brother Messala (Toby Kebbell) are best friends, always together and racing together.  The two are hope that the Jews and Romans can live side-by-side in harmony, but it's anything but harmonious for Messala, who longs for adventure and getting out of his grandfather's reputation.  He decides to enlist in the Roman army and leaves to fight for the Romans for three years, during which Judah falls in love with and marries Esther (Nazanin Boniadi).  After coming back, Messala is now a high-ranking officer in the Roman army, charged with protecting Pontius Pilate (Pilou Asbaek) as he travels through their town.  Judah, meanwhile, has harbored a zealot who is set on bringing the Romans down, but is a pacifist and doesn't tell Messala about the man, and urges both the man and Messal...

Midnight Special Starring Michael Shannon, Joel Edgerton, Kirsten Dunst, Adam Driver Directed by Jeff Nicols The Story: Young Alton (Jaeden Lieberher) is an eight-year-old kid with a terrific power, something so amazing that a cult - led by Calvin Meyer (Sam Shepard) - wants him.  After being raised with the cult, Alton's real father Roy (Michael Shannon) abducts him, with the assistance of Roy's friend Lucas (Joel Edgerton).  The three of them hit the road for coordinates Alton prophesied where a great event would take place.  The cult and the FBI, led by Agent Paul Sevier (Adam Driver), are also after the trio, who pick up Alton's mother Sarah (Kirsten Dunst) along the way. As they travel to the unknown destination, Roy becomes increasingly overprotective of Alton, while Sarah begins to understand that this journey might mean loosing Alton forever, and tries to convince Roy of that as well.  Still, even they don't understand the full power Alton has, ...

Colonia Starring Emma Watson, Daniel Bruhl, Michael Nyqvist, Richenda Carey Directed by Florian Gallenberger The Story: In Chile in 1973, European stewardess Lena (Emma Watson) takes some time off to spend with her activist boyfriend Daniel (Daniel Bruhl), who's been living in Chile for a few months as a member of an underground resistance group who want to bring deposed President Salvador Allende back to power, but then the country faces a coup from General Augusto Pinochet, and both are taken prisoner.  While Lena is released, Daniel is taken to a mysterious compound called Colonia Dignidad, under the leadership of Paul Schafer (Michael Nyqvist), a religious man who gives appearances that the place is a home for religious freedom, but is actually a cult. Lena decides to infiltrate the compound, disguised as a pious Christian girl who wants to learn the ways of the Lord, and despite early apprehensions from Schafer, she is welcomed to the community.  She then lea...

Central Intelligence Starring Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Amy Ryan, Danielle Nicolet Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber The Story: In 1996, senior Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart) was Mr. Popular.  He was the captain of the football, basketball and track teams, president of the drama club, Prom King, voted "Most Likely to Succeed" and dating the school's most attractive woman, Maggie (Danielle Nicolet).  On the day of their final pep rally, a group of bullies threw a naked Robbie Wierdicht (Dwayne Johnson) into the gym, making fun of him because he was overweight.  Calvin covered Robbie up with his letterman's jacket. Twenty years later, Calvin and Maggie are now married, and Calvin is working as an accountant, and feels his life is rather meaningless.  That is, until Robbie - who now goes by Bob Stone - reconnects before their twentieth high school reunion.  Now a muscle-bound jock, Robbie also works for the CIA, and is being hunted by Agent Pamela Ha...