Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Christopher Lee

Directed by George Lucas

The Story:
Ten years after the Trade Federation attacked Naboo, Senator Padme (Natalie Portman) returns to Coruscant to vote on a plan to create an army of the Republic when she is almost assassinated.  The Jedi Council enlists Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) to investigate the assassination attempt, while his Padawan apprentice Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is brought on to protect Padme and return her to Naboo.

Anakin and Padme begin a forbidden relationship, while Obi-Wan discovers the assassination attempt was just the tip of the iceberg, as an underground Separatist enemy force led by the mysterious Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) is plotting an all-out attack.  As Dooku's plan comes to light, it will take the entire Jedi Order, as well as a Republic army, to stop him.

The Synopsis:
"Attack of the Clones" is a better "Star Wars" film than "The Phantom Menace," but it's like saying a Whopper is better than a Big Mac - neither are healthy or satisfying, much like this film.  While George Lucas did give the fans something they've been dying to see (Yoda in a Light Saber fight), he gave us an over-boated (this is the longest "Star Wars" film in the entire franchise) love story mixed with political jargon and acting as robotic as the clones themselves.

Once again, a main detraction from how good the film could've been is the acting.  While Ewan McGregor did a decent job, it was Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman who stole the show - and not in a good way.  Their "love story" is as cliched as anything, with completely wooden performances, monotone delivery, and cheesy dialogue.  Not to mention Hayden Christensen is one of the absolute worst actors out there, and even though you love Anakin and desire to see him spiral towards the Dark Side, he was the absolute worst actor you could've gotten.

With regards to the story, it's very political and reminiscent of the true-life Enabling Act of 1933, where the German government granted emergency powers to Adolf Hitler, enabling him to make laws without consult from anyone else.  Here, Palpatine is given emergency powers by Padme's stand-in, Jar-Jar Binks (proving how truly stupid he is, he is pretty much the cause of the entire Star Wars).  With these powers, he approves the construction of a clone army, which were basically the precursors of Storm Troopers. 

Christopher Lee was a cinematic gem, and he is the lone light in this otherwise dull film.  He relished in portraying evil characters (Dracula, Saruman, Scaramanga) and he electrifies the screen (both literally and figuratively), and gives us the best action sequence in the entire prequel saga as he fought first against both Obi-Wan and Anakin together, and then the epic fight with Yoda.

In essence, you sit through an hour and a half of boring dialogue, forced love and lame political ideals before getting to the best part of the film, which is the stunning CGI-rigged action sequences.  That's what makes this film better than the first, but still pales in comparison to all the others.

Oh, and there's three fun facts about "Attack of the Clones:"
-Padme's decoy was played by none other than Oscar-nominated actress Keira Knightley

-one of Padme's servants was played by "Bridesmaids" and "Insidious" actress Rose Byrne

-"The Gift" and "Warrior" actor Joel Edgerton also has a very small role in the film

The Summary:
Not even a Light Saber duel between Yoda and Dooku could save this incredibly over-exposed second film from reaching the heights of the classic "Star Wars" saga.

The Score: A-

Bonus: Here's the hilarious Honest Trailer to "Attack of the Clones."